*snarl*

I was in poor form today. I don't need to explain why, do I?

I still feel I should try another attempt at getting RB out, but I don't know how to do this. I do know where she works, but I don't have her full name, so calling the switchboard and asking for her might be troublesome if there is more than one girl with that name, plus I don't want a stalker tag. Being keen is good, being stalker is bad. I could call up to her house, but even my new-found bravery isn't going to stretch that far, especially after nearly three weeks.

It's frustration and anger at myself about not being in control of the situation, I think. I should have gotten her number and called her. At the very least, the rejection would have been a definite end rather than me analysing this thing to the very molecule over the past three weeks. However, you can't overlook how utterly fucking clueless I am with women. When trying to chat women up I am blind to body language and just utterly clumsy all round.

As luck would have it, I might have spotted her in the town at lunchtime, but as I've previously mentioned, I'm useless at faces. I'm maybe 60% certain it was RB, but she was with a friend/colleague and I was with a friend otherwise I think I would have asked if it was her (or I'd like to think she would have stopped me herself). Then I spent the afternoon hoping she had seen me (though I had tried to catch her eye but I don't think she looked in my direction) and would get in contact tonight. She didn't, though.

SSCW figured out I wasn't in a great mood and tried to talk to me about. I let slip some details... SSCW knows it's women-related, that I was waiting for someone to get in contact and that I don't think she will. I let slip a few other details, but not a lot. I did want to talk to SSCW... I've been trying to get QC1 and QC2 out for a while now exactly for this reason, but SSCW has a habit of bringing these things up again at a later date to other people. In a separate conversation later, I explained to SSCW that I was extremely private.

Before I clammed up, she seemed quite positive that I should get in contact though. Her suggestion was to go back to the same bar on a Thursday night and see what happens. I didn't tell her I'd already done that, albeit not deliberately.

I don't know what to do, really. I thought I'd put this one to bed at the end of last week, but my frustration at how this has turned out is worse than it was last week and my optimism/wishful thinking that she might get in contact is back with a vengeance. I'm also very angry at myself for not getting her contact details originally.