Meh

It's a chicken and egg scenario, I realised earlier when I was talking to SSCW. She was quizzing me on my decision to return home rather than stay on foreign soil and just enjoy life. SSCW doesn't know about my current confusion regarding E, only that I was on holiday and part of that was visiting some friends, E included. SSCW did query any romantic involvement with E, but I was able to answer quite truthfully that nothing like that had happened.

During the questioning, I did say something along the lines of "Well, you can't beat returning home after an extended time away in a foreign country with friends to focus the mind on your life" and I guess that's kinda true as I'm not in the best place right now.

Is it because I was unhappy before I went away and subsequently realised this on my return or am I currently unhappy because of the possibilities that have arisen because of my trip? I personally think it's the latter. My romantic status has been playing on my mind since I returned, partly because of my recent run of form (which went beyond the two girls I slept with) and partly because of the E situation. Professionally, I like my job. I still like my job, but being able to see the possibilities of a different (and, importantly, better) lifestyle has made me very disillusioned about life at home. But, as I've touched on in another post, I think, to do anything right now is a knee-jerk reaction. I have to be patient and give myself a few weeks to re-adjust to "normal" life. If this is all still bothering me in a few weeks or months, then it'll be time to start make choices.