When TV mirrors real life.

I was watching an episode of NCIS while eating my dinner and one of the characters mentioned "sociophobia" (or it might have been "social phobia") and described it as "a fear of being judged or analysed publicly".

This struck a nerve. I believe that I've recently admitted to something similar in a recent post about my health/weight. I knew it existed, but I'd never really given it any thought that it might actually be something.

I paused the programme and went off to the internet where I found this. I've quoted a bit of the page below.

Symptoms of social anxiety
Social anxiety is more than shyness. It's a fear that does not go away and affects everyday activities, self confidence, relationships and work or school life.

Many people occasionally worry about social situations, but someone with social anxiety feels overly worried before, during and after them.

You may have social anxiety if you:

• worry about everyday activities, such as meeting strangers, starting conversations, speaking on the phone, working or shopping
• avoid or worry a lot about social activities, such as group conversations, eating with company and parties
• always worry about doing something you think is embarrassing, such as blushing, sweating or appearing incompetent
• find it difficult to do things when others are watching – you may feel like you're being watched and judged all the time
• fear being criticised, avoid eye contact or have low self-esteem
• often have symptoms like feeling sick, sweating, trembling or a pounding heartbeat (palpitations)
• have panic attacks, where you have an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety, usually only for a few minutes

Many people with social anxiety also have other mental health issues, such as depression, generalised anxiety disorder or panic disorder.

The bits in bold above are things that have bothered me for some time. I believe the whole self-conscious thing ties into this like, for example, my reluctance to get into fancy dress, or my discomfort when I wear a suit (despite extremely positive comments from the likes of AM, QC1, KfW2 and CH amongst others).

I don't tend to have panic attacks (see the sentence in italics), but I did last year in the lead up to some job interviews, which is tied back into some of the things in bold.

Something to ponder, I think.