Rewind

Off the back of last night's dream about K, I dug out my old archive of MSN chats from back in the day to see if the timings matched my memory - they do, for the record. Sadly, I only started logging them in April 2004, long after I got physical with K and her subsequent bonkers actions (befriending F, inviting herself when a mutual friend came to visit, insisting that I am afraid of commitment etc.) It would have been interesting to read the conversations around all that (plus those I had with F when she was trying to get me to admit to shagging K).

However, it is intriguing that K and I were still chatting reasonably regularly on MSN, despite all that had gone on. Admittedly, most of it was around the online hobby that we had in common or solving technical issues with her PC, but still more than I had remembered. In my head, it had started to dwindle after K and I had sex and she started, rather aggressively, to talk about relationships late in 2003, early 2004.

It's been some fun, re-reading the logs... it's also a reminder how intense K was.

There was also a snippet of chat where K logged on one night, pissed, and demanded to know why I hadn't spoken to her in weeks... despite the fact she hadn't logged on in weeks (and we only communicated via MSN). I shared that conversation quickly with F who was also online at the time and we had a good old giggle.

And an admission from F that K "wanted to nail me" the weekend that F and I met for the first time. Again, how this seeming quest for casual sex ties into her demands for a relationship makes the mind boggle.

There are also conversations with F who was very insistent that I made moves on E, when she still lived in the UK, despite my protestations that my feelings were extremely ambiguous.