I let slip that I was feeling slightly isolated, though emphasised that this was primarily more professional than personal (though that's a factor too). Stalky Guy is the boss's favourite and it has really shown during this lockdown. My boss has contacted me, directly, twice since we went into lockdown on March 16th and both those times were because Stalky Guy was unavailable.
I let slip this nugget of information to KfW2 who was appalled. But what can you do? Call it out? Theoretically, you could. I don't have the skills to do that in a way that doesn't sound like a rant about favouritism, even though the complaint is really more about my boss's lack of soft skills.
While I may be borderline ASD or ADHD or social anxiety (or even all three, as discussed with KfW2 last night), even I recognise the need for managers to engage with the people they're responsible for, at a personal level. I suggested to KfW2 that the boss should be doing more. My example was a personal, non-work phone call, just to check-in from a mental health perspective. My company is big on things like mental health etc. but I'm not seeing that reflected at my level.
"I don't do that!" she exclaimed.
She expanded on the topic, but it turns out that she's doing something similar in her own way... and she's doing a LOT of it. But I expected that. KfW2 has a lot of empathy and will try her best to look after the people she's in charge of.
She conceded that I did have a point and repeated her shock at my manager's (lack of) actions.
We circled back to the ASD conversation and we talked about some of the questions that were in the "assessment". For example, KfW2 and I have differing opinions on my ability to make friends. I think it's difficult, because I find social interaction difficult, but when I find people who I'm comfortable with, and like, then I will move mountains to maintain those friendships. KfW2 thinks I make friends easily and suggested that she was a little jealous of some of my friendships. She also suggested that she was bad at making friends. I, of course, disagreed. KfW2's problem (if you view it that way) is that she doesn't make a lot of long-term friends.
However, she's made friends of her own in recent years, so she can make friends.
We circled back to the ASD conversation and we talked about some of the questions that were in the "assessment". For example, KfW2 and I have differing opinions on my ability to make friends. I think it's difficult, because I find social interaction difficult, but when I find people who I'm comfortable with, and like, then I will move mountains to maintain those friendships. KfW2 thinks I make friends easily and suggested that she was a little jealous of some of my friendships. She also suggested that she was bad at making friends. I, of course, disagreed. KfW2's problem (if you view it that way) is that she doesn't make a lot of long-term friends.
However, she's made friends of her own in recent years, so she can make friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment