So, in case you haven't figured it out, the thing that I was working towards for the past week was a job interview. Except it wasn't an interview. It'll be an aptitude test, said the hiring manager. We need to get a feel for how you think. Except it wasn't that, it was a code writing challenge. Write this code in this time frame, then explain to us what you did and why. That's not an aptitude test, this is a skill and knowledge test. For a re-training job. In the name of fucking Christ.
It's times like this that I hate our company. There's no need for that test. That doesn't tell anyone how I think.
It was real rabbit-in-the-headlights stuff from me. Halfway into the test, I'd made little progress. My mind was blank, my heart was racing and I couldn't think or remember how to do the simplest of tasks. I had nothing that I could present at the end. I did the only thing I possible could: I withdrew my application.
Immediately, I felt better. Well.. less stressed. I also felt embarrassed and disappointed. I thought the job was a good fit for me, and there are reasons why the timing was good for me too.
A friend, who was on the "interview" panel reached out a few hours later and asked what was up. I explained everything to him, including the fact I'd been prepping for one thing and it turned out to be something else. He let slip, then swore me to secrecy, that I wasn't the only person to withdraw my application. That's kinda reassuring, but ultimately, I've had mood swings all day since withdrawing: from happiness that I am no longer stressed to the disappointment and embarrassment that I mentioned earlier.
And I'm angry at the fact it all became a lot more complicated than it needed to. You just know as soon as you see someone's name that things will get complicated for no reason and that was true this time.
As someone else said to me: "I've always taken personal aptitude higher than tech knowledge - anyone can learn the tech but they can't stop being awful people". This is a view I wholeheartedly agree with.
Job hunting needs to continue, so I expect a stressful few months ahead.
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