Sigh.

Just when I think I've managed to put something behind me, the universe finds a way of messing with my head.

A week ago, when I cancelled my Match.com subscription (or rather the recurring payment), they gave me a free upgrade to their most feature-driven membership level. That means I can see who's read emails, people can reply to my messages without needing to be subscribers etc. which I was unable to do before. I know, for example, that out of the five women I messaged last week, that two have read their emails and three haven't.

What I also noticed, during my frequent searches of most recently active members (there's no point in messaging inactive members), was that CB had logged in for the first time in possibly six months or more. I've never been a big Facebook 'stalker' or anything - I don't see the point in torturing myself... and it's bad enough that I can't seem to get an introduction even with MFF or GB getting involved and with our paths crossing (in different ways) over the past 15 months, so I've not given her a lot of thought since around the end of February.

CB hasn't read the email I sent her when I first subscribed to Match and she hasn't visited my profile. I don't know if it's still visible to her. I know that Plenty of Fish, for example, seems to delete messages after about five weeks.

But this has raised the CB dilemma again when I was at the point where it was being forgotten about. I'd never gotten the closure I wanted from it, but I'd kinda resigned myself to that anyway. And now, with some prompting from USHW, I'm starting to wonder if I should get KfW2 involved again (she previously had words with GB when I first debated sending the message) or even if I should maybe send another message or get her on the Match.com instant messaging system now that I know she's active and I have this upgrade. After all, if she's logging in and not deleting her account, she must be single and looking, right?

I have seven days left on this subscription and the plan was to delete all online dating accounts as it really hasn't yielded any results and my confidence has, once again, taken a bit of a beating due to it. That's definitely something I'm going to talk to KfW2 about this week. She knows that I suffered the last time I did online dating and USHW tells me (quite correctly) that I need to be more open with KfW2 (well, everyone really, but KfW2 for sure).