Random access memory.

A story on some of the sports websites I follow today prompted a memory of years ago. BW and I had been out shopping and popped into one of our then-favourite bars for a pint prior to going home. Grabbing our beers, we adjourned to our usual seats and found a discarded copy of The Guardian.

Usually, we'd not bother with it, but there was an advert for The Guardian's very own Fantasy Football competition. That piqued my interest and before long, BW and I were engrossed in the stats. It was a good few hours later when we finally had our squad together, ready to post. We'd only meant to be in the pub for about half an hour, just to kill a bit of time.

The thing is, my memory of this afternoon has it being a dark, wet, cold day in the middle of winter. But the timing of the fantasy football competition would have meant this this had to have been probably the middle of the summer - late July or some time in August - before the football season kicked off.

To be fair, it is probably 25 years ago

American Dreams

Another travel-related dream, this time, I'm spending an awful lot of time and money and just lounging around in NY, Manhattan to be precise. It's summer, the weather is fantastic and I just spend weeks, if not months, just trundling around the place, meeting people, drinking and generally having fun.

I don't have the time nor the money to indulge in something like that, but that would be a pretty fricking awesome summer, if you ask me.

Boredom stuff.

I don't know why I've continued to browse Tinder and other online dating apps over the past year... meeting people during lockdowns and a global pandemic isn't the world's greatest idea, but I need something and the fantasy of meeting someone new is at least a minor distraction.

I was messaging ES a few days ago, again just to break the monotony rather than for a specific reason when I noticed that she's Facebook friends with yet another local celebrity who pops up on Tinder from time to time. I always swipe right (or whatever the positive action is for the app in question) but we've never matched sadly.

And so, guess who pops up on Tinder today? Well, it's not ES so it has to be the brunette local celebrity. I doubt we'll match. We haven't until now, why would that change? Fingers crossed though!

Sigh.

I'm pretty sure that I've posted previously about not making a big thing of St Valentine's Day. I've never celebrated it, any girlfriends I've been dating at the time haven't made a big deal of it and I don't ever remember sending a proper, anonymous, Valentine's card.

I don't think I've ever received one, either, apart from a jokey one once, from AM and QC1.

Today has been different though. I've seen some posts on social media that have made me feel a little lonely, both in a general and a romantic way. I presume this has been brought on by lockdown, the pandemic and all that sort of stuff.

Ah well, let's get this out of the way and stuff our face full of pancakes on Tuesday, yeah?

Dreams, baby.

After a couple of nights of restless or no sleep, I did manage to sleep well last night. I woke this morning, only really remembering the tail end of the dream - I met a girl in a café, and we went back to my place. The girl in question, in the dream, was unknown to me, but physically resembled Kate Upton.

We ended up having sex, in the same room as my Dad weirdly, trying not to get caught on. I disappointed the poor girl terribly, though she tried to brush it off. We fell asleep and parted ways the next morning on good terms, never to see each other again... only to bump into each other a year later, with the unknown girl wheeling a pram.

And that's when I woke up.

Stares wistfully into the distance.

Fed up of the lockdown? Pandemic got you sick of staying indoors? Yup, me too. So I found this video on YouTube. Relaxing music and a change of scenery... for two hours. Thailand isn't anywhere I've wanted to travel, but the video makes me want to travel to sunny climes with high-end video equipment and make videos just like this.
 

Urgh.

Oh fuck. I think I dropped off to sleep last night/this morning about 5:55 and woke just over an hour ago. I managed to log on to work on time, but I am still in my pyjamas and haven't had a shower. 

I am absolutely hanging. There was no reason for the lack of sleep - no illness, stress, stomach issues or even company. It was just one of those nights that I seem to have a few times a year.

Lack of sleep does me in, so today at work is going to be a slog.

I predict lots and lots of coffee.

Dream a little dream.

I woke this morning after a dream that featured QC2, lots of sunny weather, possibly a foreign location and a bikini. In the dream, we were dating, though sex didn't feature.

Now, I had a MASSIVE crush on QC2 back in the day, but while I was appreciative of her figure (I think I posted before about how well she filled a pair of black 501s), it was very much a girlfriend crush rather than anything lusty/physical.

So, despite never really having thought of her sexually and not having actually seen or heard from her in, what, seven or eight years, dreaming about her last night, in that way was surprising. And frustrating.

And I have seen her in a swimsuit, when we were doing a charity thing together. And even then, no inappropriate thoughts crossed my mind.

So, I was frustrated today. And I do miss QC2/our semi-regular nights out. And a little confused about my dream.

Sigh.

Januarys are usually shit. Performance management, a downer after Xmas and New Year (usually) and a long time since the last pay day.

I've started portion management again... or working on it at least.

But I've also had massive cravings for something sweet the past week or so, and I'm not a sweet tooth person.

So in my last online Tesco order contained a treat - some small tubs of Haagen Dasz. This stuff, in fact:

And it's yummy. I've eaten all four tubs, 24 hours after taking delivery of them. Comfort eating. January continues to be shit. Roll on February.

Dreams.

Another barely remembered dream, from last night: I'd won a decent amount of money on the lottery. Roughly £5 million and was wondering what to do with my winnings. It had been deposited into my bank account so I could look at the balance on my phone and see the money there.

I'd spoken to family, to let them know they were taken care of and was out walking with KfW2, trying to figure out how to share the news when, on separate occasions, R and Quiet Girl came up and were extremely tactile with me, but in a very clear, platonic way. Then they would chat, and go on their way.

I woke up before I got to confess my good fortune to KfW2.

However, it was one of those powerful dreams where it takes a few seconds to sink in that it was a dream, and so I was quite disappointed when it dawned on me that I wasn't worth five million pounds. Bah.

Ouch.

I went out for a walk yesterday, with Nerdy Girl. I know, there's a lockdown on, but we were outdoors and socially distant. It's the first proper exercise I've done in months. We ended up doing about 6 miles in around two hours, and I'm feeling it today. It's not stiffness or anything normally associated with exercise (though there is a little bit of that). At 3 mph, it was a comfortable walk for me, but I now have multiple blisters and the skin has rubbed off on one of my heels.

It was the DM Boots. I thought I'd done a fair bit of walking in them before, but I must be mistaken. The blisters are from the in-soles I have. I need new ones, for sure. The skin thing is another matter. Maybe they don't fit properly or I didn't tie them correctly. Regardless, I'm walking around the house very gingerly today.

I enjoyed the chat with Nerdy Girl. I normally do, but this was the first proper chat I've had with a non-family member since before Xmas. She mentioned that her company was looking for new people and did I know anyone? I did actually: Quiet Girl. I don't know if Quiet Girl is looking for a new job, but I know she'd be great for the role. I must get in touch over the weekend and ask if she at least wants to speak to Nerdy Girl.