Today was meant to be me meeting with CH... again. She had gone quiet on the subject, so I pushed for it at the weekend and today was the first day that suited us both.
I arrived into work today to an email sent from CH during the early hours of the morning. No lunch date as she had to go to a funeral. Sigh.
Almost as if she were psychic, KfW2 sent me a text five minutes after I'd gotten CH's email. The "conversation" went something along these lines:
KfW2: You meeting CH?
Ruuude: Nope. Funeral.
KfW2: Not really her fault, is it?
Ruuude: Not really, but there's always something. And a legitimate excuse does not make a last-minute cancellation any less frustrating.
KfW2: I know I'm going through the same with [her friend]. I know how you feel, your annoyance. I've been in the same situation.
Ruuude: It's not annoyance per se. When the cancellation reasons are spurious like only the two of us going to the pub or having to do some shopping for her sister, that's annoying. I don't feel bad for being annoyed at that, but I feel guilty for being frustrated today.
KfW2: Understandable, but do you not feel that if it wasn't [the funeral], it would be something else?
Ruuude: Yeah, and that's the whole core of that part of the problem.
And that's it really. CH has yet to suggest another day to meet. She never has a suggestion to make up for her non-appearances. The funeral wasn't of anyone close - a friend's relative - so it's not like she's emotionally not in the mood. It's pretty much three months now that I've been trying to get to talk to CH about this and four weeks since I came right out and said I thought there was a problem and I'm still trying to get her out on her own so we can talk.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Mmmmm...
And for no other reason than appreciation, there's this... I've been watching a lot of "My Name is Earl" recently in a kind of marathon. Catalina aka Nadine Velazquez. *appreciative noises*
What's that? Pictorial evidence? Well, go on then.
What's that? Pictorial evidence? Well, go on then.
Oh, hello!
Continuing on from the last post, we have a bit of a breakthrough. For the first time since I installed Tinder (which must be a good nine months at least), I matched with someone that I was genuinely attracted to. Saying that, like all my other online dating experiences, Tinder hasn't exactly been throwing mutual matches at me - probably less than ten in all that time, and all people I was very "meh" about.
I fired off a quick message about twenty four hours ago. I'm not too happy about it - her profile has given me nothing to go on and only has one picture - but it's an opener nonetheless.
In real life news, I took a trip to talk to the cute neighbour. We're having work done in the house and the two guys are creating a hell of a lot of noise, so I went upstairs to apologise. I think the cute neighbour works during the day, but I wanted to make sure. Slamming of doors etc. as the guys have been doing is like Chinese water torture to me, and there's no doubt the noise and vibrations are carrying.
Sadly though, she wasn't in.
I fired off a quick message about twenty four hours ago. I'm not too happy about it - her profile has given me nothing to go on and only has one picture - but it's an opener nonetheless.
In real life news, I took a trip to talk to the cute neighbour. We're having work done in the house and the two guys are creating a hell of a lot of noise, so I went upstairs to apologise. I think the cute neighbour works during the day, but I wanted to make sure. Slamming of doors etc. as the guys have been doing is like Chinese water torture to me, and there's no doubt the noise and vibrations are carrying.
Sadly though, she wasn't in.
Sunday, March 08, 2015
You have to laugh.
So, having had an account on Match.com for about a month and reactivated my OK Cupid (well, this was just not used rather than inactive) and Plenty of Fish ones, it's about time I actually messaged a few people.
There are a couple of women on Match.com that look cute and/or interesting (though I'm not hugely excited by either of them) that I'll message once I shake this apathy.
PoF is offering very little given the sheer numbers and lack of subscription.
The interesting part is OK Cupid, where I appear to be banned, being unable to log in for a week now. I don't know how - all my pictures are of me. I can't have offended anyone cos I haven't sent any messages apart from one person, details in this post.
Interesting customer services - no email and no onscreen message when I try to log in. I go to the contact page and it says, after asking me for the details of my problem, "please enter the code below so we know you're a real person". Except there is nowhere to enter any code.
Good work, OK Cupid. Thankfully I hadn't actually subscribed.
There are a couple of women on Match.com that look cute and/or interesting (though I'm not hugely excited by either of them) that I'll message once I shake this apathy.
PoF is offering very little given the sheer numbers and lack of subscription.
The interesting part is OK Cupid, where I appear to be banned, being unable to log in for a week now. I don't know how - all my pictures are of me. I can't have offended anyone cos I haven't sent any messages apart from one person, details in this post.
Interesting customer services - no email and no onscreen message when I try to log in. I go to the contact page and it says, after asking me for the details of my problem, "please enter the code below so we know you're a real person". Except there is nowhere to enter any code.
Good work, OK Cupid. Thankfully I hadn't actually subscribed.
The unexpected.
While not quite a surprise night out, it was reasonably last-minute. I had sent GM and S an email asking if they fancied doing something as I simply wanted out of the house for a few hours.
GM had prior arrangements but suggested I go down to meet him and his friends. S stated quite categorically that he was staying in. I joined GM quite late - it was well after 10 PM. Usually by 10 PM I'm sitting in front of the TV or the PC, quite content.
One of the girls that GM was out with was very sexy. Cracking body, tight short dress, couple of tattoos and great legs. Facially, she was doing nothing for me (though a hint of porn star Mindy Main, maybe) and she was tiny without her heels, but I wasn't looking at her face. Which was an issue when I was chatting away to her.
Another cute friend of GM's arrived and stayed for one drink.
We left the bar after GM's sexy friend got herself thrown out. GM's second cute friend left at that point and we trundled around to a bar that GM had never been to before. It was at that point that GM had admitted to recently pulling the sexy girl from earlier. We had a chat about women and sex. Apparently sexy girl had offered up a friends with benefits option to GM who was pondering the option... then she turned weird on him before coming full circle again once they'd chatted and GM told her she wasn't a one night stand. It was the kind of serious conversation that GM and I settle in to quite quickly when we're out. In return, I explained to him the ongoing CH dilemma and he, once again, told me how he and GB were sure that CH and I simply would not like each other. CH's reliability was discussed (it's not just me, she's well-known for last-minute cancellations) and her communication. GM wasn't able to offer any solutions, not that I was looking for any. It'll be solved by talking to CH and that's it.
Who did we bump into at this new bar but S. It was well-timed because we'd just been having a conversation about him, then he caught our eye across the room with his mates. So, we spent a while chatting to those guys. I eventually called it quits about 3AM, mainly because the bar had stopped serving and I was starting to sober up, but the music had gone more in a dance direction than the fun pop they'd been playing.
Still, like most unexpected nights out, a lot of fun.
GM had prior arrangements but suggested I go down to meet him and his friends. S stated quite categorically that he was staying in. I joined GM quite late - it was well after 10 PM. Usually by 10 PM I'm sitting in front of the TV or the PC, quite content.
One of the girls that GM was out with was very sexy. Cracking body, tight short dress, couple of tattoos and great legs. Facially, she was doing nothing for me (though a hint of porn star Mindy Main, maybe) and she was tiny without her heels, but I wasn't looking at her face. Which was an issue when I was chatting away to her.
Another cute friend of GM's arrived and stayed for one drink.
We left the bar after GM's sexy friend got herself thrown out. GM's second cute friend left at that point and we trundled around to a bar that GM had never been to before. It was at that point that GM had admitted to recently pulling the sexy girl from earlier. We had a chat about women and sex. Apparently sexy girl had offered up a friends with benefits option to GM who was pondering the option... then she turned weird on him before coming full circle again once they'd chatted and GM told her she wasn't a one night stand. It was the kind of serious conversation that GM and I settle in to quite quickly when we're out. In return, I explained to him the ongoing CH dilemma and he, once again, told me how he and GB were sure that CH and I simply would not like each other. CH's reliability was discussed (it's not just me, she's well-known for last-minute cancellations) and her communication. GM wasn't able to offer any solutions, not that I was looking for any. It'll be solved by talking to CH and that's it.
Who did we bump into at this new bar but S. It was well-timed because we'd just been having a conversation about him, then he caught our eye across the room with his mates. So, we spent a while chatting to those guys. I eventually called it quits about 3AM, mainly because the bar had stopped serving and I was starting to sober up, but the music had gone more in a dance direction than the fun pop they'd been playing.
Still, like most unexpected nights out, a lot of fun.
Saturday, March 07, 2015
Feeling hot, hot, hot.
It's been a lovely day here. Temperatures hit over 15 degrees centigrade and even with a hefty breeze blowing, it was quite warm... which didn't stop HG burning the heat at 100% for hours at a time.
And he's still turning down the hot water temperatures to less than tepid. How he thinks anyone is meant to actually wash anything in nearly cold water is beyond me.
It's not that he might feel cold. I understand that he may well do... it's the fact that he's burning the gas at 100% while running around in shorts and a t-shirt instead of putting on a pair of jeans and a jumper. He's paying for the gas because for some reason he won't tell TV Guy that it's his turn to top up, but the reality is that the rest of us are sweating because HG doesn't have the common sense to turn down the heating temperature and put on a jumper to regulate his own comfort. Just like he turns down the water temperature because it's too hot instead of mixing cold water.
And he's still turning down the hot water temperatures to less than tepid. How he thinks anyone is meant to actually wash anything in nearly cold water is beyond me.
It's not that he might feel cold. I understand that he may well do... it's the fact that he's burning the gas at 100% while running around in shorts and a t-shirt instead of putting on a pair of jeans and a jumper. He's paying for the gas because for some reason he won't tell TV Guy that it's his turn to top up, but the reality is that the rest of us are sweating because HG doesn't have the common sense to turn down the heating temperature and put on a jumper to regulate his own comfort. Just like he turns down the water temperature because it's too hot instead of mixing cold water.
Friday, March 06, 2015
Dilemma (cont'd 2)
I've made a decision on CH. Today was going to be the day I decide to pull the plug on our friendship, stop making the effort etc. but I've been mulling it over this past week. USHW helped by talking it through with me and I'm going to text her this weekend to try and get her out for lunch or a coffee ASAP.
I still might have to walk away, but I don't want to. I've left GB and DSC by the wayside with pretty much no guilt or worry over the past two years for being shit friends, but I don't want to be jettisoning friends willy-nilly. For starters, my social life is bad enough and the number of people I feel I can talk to is limited. CH can be one of those people if she'd just take some time out for me rather than try and shoehorn everyone into her own plans.
I'm possibly giving CH more leeway because I'm lonely and because there is an element of attraction there (though I know nothing will ever happen). This week especially has been tough - E has been at the forefront of my mind after she posted some good news on Facebook recently. And for some reason yesterday, I spent a lot of time thinking about CAB.
It's kinda weird though - I opened up to her and complained about feeling like an afterthought, about how conversations never seem to happen... and despite a promise that we'd meet for lunch after her holiday (after she'd been super-defensive), the conversation hasn't happened.
Still, I don't want to just walk away, but I'm not that hopeful. Let's see what the weekend brings though.
I still might have to walk away, but I don't want to. I've left GB and DSC by the wayside with pretty much no guilt or worry over the past two years for being shit friends, but I don't want to be jettisoning friends willy-nilly. For starters, my social life is bad enough and the number of people I feel I can talk to is limited. CH can be one of those people if she'd just take some time out for me rather than try and shoehorn everyone into her own plans.
I'm possibly giving CH more leeway because I'm lonely and because there is an element of attraction there (though I know nothing will ever happen). This week especially has been tough - E has been at the forefront of my mind after she posted some good news on Facebook recently. And for some reason yesterday, I spent a lot of time thinking about CAB.
It's kinda weird though - I opened up to her and complained about feeling like an afterthought, about how conversations never seem to happen... and despite a promise that we'd meet for lunch after her holiday (after she'd been super-defensive), the conversation hasn't happened.
Still, I don't want to just walk away, but I'm not that hopeful. Let's see what the weekend brings though.
Thursday, March 05, 2015
Dilemma (cont'd)
Following on from my previous post, I still haven't made contact with CH. The temptation is still strong to do so... I don't want to simply throw away something that has, in the past, been good. But I am concerned that if I crumble and contact her either about meeting for lunch or the upcoming work night out, that I'll jut fall back into a habit of doing all the work in the friendship.
She still has said absolutely nothing to me and while I saw her in the town centre earlier today, I dunno if she saw me. She was on her own, without any of her usual friends.
It annoyed me a bit... the whole point of opening up to her was because I can't remember the last time she initiated a conversation... and any time I do so, she dictates pretty much everything.
Maybe the problem is that she's used to people falling in line with her way of thinking? I know part of the reason that we hit it off so well and so quickly originally was because I challenged her on everything. She respected the fact that I wasn't argumentative - if I disagreed with her, I had my own reasons and voiced them. We debated stuff and I enjoyed the verbal sparring.
She has a strong personality and I'd argue that she's easily the strongest personality out of her friends (though there are a couple of firecrackers in there), and maybe she's just used to getting her way?
She still has said absolutely nothing to me and while I saw her in the town centre earlier today, I dunno if she saw me. She was on her own, without any of her usual friends.
It annoyed me a bit... the whole point of opening up to her was because I can't remember the last time she initiated a conversation... and any time I do so, she dictates pretty much everything.
Maybe the problem is that she's used to people falling in line with her way of thinking? I know part of the reason that we hit it off so well and so quickly originally was because I challenged her on everything. She respected the fact that I wasn't argumentative - if I disagreed with her, I had my own reasons and voiced them. We debated stuff and I enjoyed the verbal sparring.
She has a strong personality and I'd argue that she's easily the strongest personality out of her friends (though there are a couple of firecrackers in there), and maybe she's just used to getting her way?
Tuesday, March 03, 2015
Dilemma.
In trying to arrange a quiet night out with some work colleagues earlier today, it turned out that the next big work night out would be at the start of next month, on a Thursday night.
No big deal to me... I can do a Thursday no problem and I might even take the Friday off. I did something similar for a recent night out with KfW2.
But it raises a conundrum. CH's presence at these things has been sporadic to say the least... and part of that is because she's not in the office on Fridays, when these things are usually held. She is typically in the office on a Thursday though, so this should be do-able.
But I'm still waiting to hear from her about, well, anything really. Since promising, on Valentine's Day, to meet for lunch after her holiday, she still hasn't initiated contact of any kind beyond playing Words with Friends.
I really want to ask her if she's going to go to this night out... but part of me really wants to leave her alone and let her make first contact (or call it quits on our friendship come the end of this week). Well, I don't want to call it quits on the friendship, but you know what I mean, right? Should I swallow my pride and just ask or should I continue to test her?
No big deal to me... I can do a Thursday no problem and I might even take the Friday off. I did something similar for a recent night out with KfW2.
But it raises a conundrum. CH's presence at these things has been sporadic to say the least... and part of that is because she's not in the office on Fridays, when these things are usually held. She is typically in the office on a Thursday though, so this should be do-able.
But I'm still waiting to hear from her about, well, anything really. Since promising, on Valentine's Day, to meet for lunch after her holiday, she still hasn't initiated contact of any kind beyond playing Words with Friends.
I really want to ask her if she's going to go to this night out... but part of me really wants to leave her alone and let her make first contact (or call it quits on our friendship come the end of this week). Well, I don't want to call it quits on the friendship, but you know what I mean, right? Should I swallow my pride and just ask or should I continue to test her?
Sunday, March 01, 2015
Oh, hello.
Watching Top Gear tonight, and couldn't help but have a little crush on Gillian Anderson. I've always thought she was attractive, all the way back to her X-Files days, but it's different actually seeing someone be themselves.
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