Promises

I'm going to be honest, before KfW2 phoned me earlier, I was composing a blog post in my head that was quite negative and I was definitely feeling a bit sorry for myself.

It went back to something that KfW2 had said to me last year at FP's funeral about how people were concerned about me, and they loved me.

While I'm not even going to suggest that she's wrong (she's not), I perhaps expected people to be in contact a little more frequently than usual after FP's funeral. That wasn't the case. Even KfW2 herself wasn't really in contact any more than usual.

Then when G came home a month or so later, he assured me that M had promised to reach out, to arrange a drink or a coffee.

And it's that point that I think provoked the desire to make a post. BR was in touch earlier this week to tell me his mother had passed away. I'd swapped a few messages with G, but M also sent a message, sharing the funeral details.

But if you add my difficulty in getting The Crowd out, pinning KfW2 down for doing something, M's promise plus the lack of any real contact post-funeral, and it really has gotten me down.

I had work stuff going on in the second half of last year, plus this more recent family stuff too, and it just all added up to needing an outlet. An outlet I couldn't get because it was impossible to get to talk to people. I'm not gonna lie, it was a really tough, mentally taxing six months at the end of last year.

So while things are looking up - I'm definitely seeing G and The Crowd soon, I also have tentatively gotten agreement from M and KfW2 to meet for coffee/drinks/dinner, but it'll be me that has to put in the effort.

Reading back on this, it does still feel quite negative/sad, but I don't think it's as bad as it could have been as I was feeling VERY sorry for myself earlier. It does raise the point I always make about actions speaking louder than words.