I don't know what the kicker is, but I've been feeling really down today. I don't know if that kicked off the KfW2 funk or the other way around. I've also been feeling really off about work, too. An apathy and general unhappiness all rolled into one.
I think part of that is I'm feeling quite pessimistic about a requested pay rise that I asked for about a month ago. My boss is meant to be having a meeting with me, but the last update I had was Tuesday. You'd assume that any good news would be communicated quickly, wouldn't you?
So even though I just started a new job at the start of the year, being refused the pay rise (despite offering a load of objective evidence why I should get one) isn't going to help my current ambiguity about whether this is what I want to be doing.
There were anxiety issues that were a problem at the tail end of 2021 that I still haven't addressed. You may remember that the attractive HR girl had given me some stuff to follow up on, so I definitely need to do that. Again, this isn't procrastination but rather a memory issue. I remember now that I want to look into this. Come Monday morning, when I settle into work, will I remember to get the details and follow up on them? That's been the issue with a lot of things, including house renovation and other to-do tasks over the past year or so.
I think I need to sit down, give myself a really hard kick in the fucking arse and start making more of an effort on several fronts.
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