For some reason today in work, I thought about this year's New Year's Eve. I can't remember why that popped into my head, but it did. That, then, reminded of last year and my disappointment in GB and GM, which then reminded me of CB and that provoked a feeling of sadness. And loneliness. The funk is simply that, a funk.
The feeling of sadness wasn't specifically about CB per se, but more the funk of singledom that has been hanging over my head since the turn of the year. Let's not kid ourselves though - if there was an opportunity gain to make contact with CB in whatever form, I'll be grasping it with both hands, but it's been a long time since she was at the forefront of my mind, even if there is currently no-one else grabbing my attention.
The loneliness thing is something that's been gradually building since last NYE. It's not just about the lack of romantic partners, but the reactions of friends - GB for a lot of things, S's focus on his core friends, GM has become unreliable, often citing a lack of funds, CH's lack of reliability etc. Both USHW and London Girl have suggested taking a more direct approach to meeting new people for romantic, and physical, engagements and that is my plan, but I can't get buy-in from the people I need to tag along. I'd love to go for a night on the pull rather than just a few pints or a singles night or speed dating and be more pro-active, but I simply can't get anyone to come along for the ride. No pun intended.
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