Another barely remembered dream from last night, though I do recall that it featured Brie Larson and FA2. I don't recall the FA2 aspect too much, but the Brie Larson aspect was that we were very good friends and she lived in my hometown but was looking to move house. The bits of the dream that are/were clear were that she was having issues with the move itself.
And that was pretty much it. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing sexual etc. just two friends talking, supporting each other etc.
It seems that 2021 is continuing on from where 2020 left off. The lockdown is having a real effect on my mental health. My memory seems to be appalling and new things simply aren't sticking. That's unfortunate timing because I am currently undergoing some fairly intensive re-training in work, partly off something that I've been trying to put in motion for years, and party due to some internal restructuring at work that has caused some stress and anxiety.
And I think my tinnitus is getting worse, too.
On top of that, my dad was recently diagnosed with his own memory issues that we're going to have to start managing. He's had memory issues for a few years now, but we kinda assumed it was simply an old age thing, but recently it's gotten a lot worse. He's now on medication that we hope will, at best, slow the deterioration and we supposedly did catch it early, but ultimately it's probably going to get worse and then we'll see what happens.
He has, at least, been vaccinated, so we don't have to worry (as much) about him taking off to visit friends and relatives, as he has done over the past twelve months. He does claim not to remember, but I suspect this is more to do with his stubborn streak than anything else.
Still, I have tentative plans to meet with Nerdy Girl for a socially-distanced walk this weekend. The last time we did this, it ended up being six miles and me getting quite a few blisters. There'll definitely be a change in footwear this time around.
Another dream about the same girl last night, though I can't remember the details, but she was on my mind as I woke this morning.
And it suddenly dawned on me, while I was bored in a meeting earlier today, that the scanned photos were from a party I was at, where I met, and kissed, QC1 for the first time. It was one of the last times I remember actually sitting with her and chatting, a few months after we'd all left school.
I had a dream last night, focussed on my time at school. Kinda. I was back at school, but my current age. It was a prize giving day or something and for some inexplicable reason I was lined up to do a triathlon as some kind of closing ceremony.
The competitors were due to start one-by-one, so we were lined up in a row.
But, wait. Who was that ahead of me in the queue? Only a girl that I was friends with, and had a HUGE crush on, at school.
I tapped her on her shoulder and her surprise turned to delight as she saw who it was. We chatted briefly until it was her time to start.
"Can we meet for a drink after?" I asked. It was unclear if I meant this as a platonic or a romantic encounter.
She smiled and nodded, then off she ran. That's when I woke up.
I think I've posted about this girl before. We were friends during my last years at school, I had a crush (I can't remember what happened first) though I never made a move primarily because of the friendship and my chance passed.
She disappeared soon after school (barring a few meet ups) and has, to the best of my knowledge, no social media presence. Of all the people I went to school with and currently don't have any contact, she's the one I'd like to meet the most, even though the last time we met, she seemed to be incredibly disinterested in chatting.
So this morning has been tinged a little with nostalgia. I did hunt out a few scanned photos that I had, just to add to the reminiscing.
FP and I were texting last night, chatting about sports mainly.
"I can't wait to get back to CB Bar and talk about sport with the barman" he said.
We'd had a good relationship with the barman there, often spending a Sunday night talking about the weekend's sport with the head barman.
"Just can't wait to get back into CB Bar. Putting the world to rights and having a perv at some totty" was my reply.
Cue a lot of ROFL emotes from FP.
It is true though. I'd love to get back into a pub and just do some people watching. And yes, totty.
More pandemic boredom and I've gone down a rabbit hole on YouTube watching old videos of Craig Ferguson interview people on the Late Late Show. It's been greatly entertaining. There are compilation videos on YouTube, so see if you can find your favourite celebrity being interviewed. As someone who's not really au fait with American late night talk shows, I really enjoyed his irreverent style and they provide some much-needed laughter.
Another night, another weird dream. In this one, my Dad suddenly disappeared and we simply couldn't find him. He wouldn't answer his phone or emails etc. In the meantime, I started an affair with my next door neighbour. I don't know where her husband was in this dream, but he was never around. Months later my Dad walks in through the door, having taken himself off on a trip around Europe for reasons that never became clear.
Of course the dream is based on some subjects that I've been thinking about a lot recently: companionship and travel. And those have been on my mind this morning.
I'd been feeling a little down. The isolation of the pandemic and lockdown was getting to me and I was feeling a little off with KfW2 as the last couple of times she's communicated with me have been work-related and very much asking for favours.
I've felt that we've been growing apart anyway for the past few years - her new job, her new commuting pattern, her kids going to school etc. have really meant that our contact and socialising has really dropped off in frequency despite efforts to get her out to the pub/my house for adult days/nights out.
And then today, she phoned, quite out of the blue. We spoke for nearly 45 minutes - a kind of conversation that we've not had in a long time - probably since the start of last summer, when she called in for a socially distanced cup of tea and we sat in my back garden.
It's proper made my day.
A few days ago, I posted something about a memory and how my recollection of it didn't stack up to what should have been the actuality.
A similar thing happened this morning. I've posted about this memory before, I think. I'm lying in bed with FBS. I think it was the last time we slept together (in both meanings of the phrase). However, my memory of the evening ends after a rather explosive climax and I'm lying in bed, with FBS to my right, and we're chatting. We fall asleep.
My memory of the next morning is waking up, with FBS on my left, but I have no recollection of us swapping places during the night, and any time I'd stayed over previously, I'd always been on the same side of the bed... to FBS's right per my memory of the morning after.
Clearly both memories can't be accurate. One of them has to be wrong, and my money is on the immediate aftermath of us having sex.
Admittedly, this is also a long time ago, so I don't expect my memory to be perfect, but it is interesting how the mind works.
I don't live in England, but I'm pretty sure that our roadmap for vaccination and ending the lockdown will look a lot like England's roadmap. If that's the case then the last of the restrictions should be lifted by the end of June.
Pubs. I'm talking about pubs. That also means seeing friends and family, BBQs (if the weather's nice) and having a generally social summer.
Maybe it's a bit too early to be planning - I've not seen our roadmap after all, but I can't help but be excited and optimistic about it... as long as people aren't dicks and take the piss out of every little easing of every restriction. That's partly why we're still in this position.
Hopefully soon. The end of June is roughly 17 weeks away. That's something to aim for... to look forward to.
