Balls - an update.

And as if by magic, by just posting about it here, I have a goal I can tick off. Since my last post, I have sourced and emailed approximately six people whom I hope will be able to give me the information I require to take my pay increase plan further. I may need to source more people, but half a dozen is a good start.

Balls.

I was in an organised mood today and spent some time sorting out my finances. I say "sorting", but really it was more of a tidying up exercise - moving some money about etc. in order to make sure I was keeping track of less accounts and being more on top of my money. I realised that I should have done this a long time ago as I am not as solvent as I thought I was, to the tune of nearly two thousand pounds worse off than anticipated. Hmmm... [I should state here that while this is a large sum of money, but it's not the end of the world. I earn a decent salary, but I had hoped to clear all my credit card debt by next summer, which is looking highly unlikely now with the debt being £2K higher than planned.]

Still, if there's something that will kick me into action about doing the required homework for a pay rise, it's that. I can't remember if I've posted about the pay rise, but I have a plan of action about going to my boss and looking for a pay rise (almost 10% if I play my cards right). In order to do that, though, I need some information which is going to mean emailing a few people first. I have about 60% of the information I need, but I just need to sit down and write the dozen or so emails, but I've been putting it off for no reason since I formulated the plan originally.

I should do that, then I have to book my flight for KfW2's wedding.

A Eureka Moment

I was having a conversation a while ago - it was way last week, but I haven't had time to put my thoughts down here due to being incredibly busy with work-related stuff  - when I started thinking about something from waaaay back. Specifically, I started thinking about my friend F.

F and I always had great chemistry. We met when I was active during my online writing hobby. I say "met", but obviously it was all online, but we were both "targets" for different reasons. It was a year or so before we actually met in person, but by then we had exchanged plenty of contact - phone calls, emails, IMs etc. She'd done a lot of teasing when I fucked K (who went out of her way to befriend F after that because she thought she was competition, which is how F found out I'd fucked K) and I'd done my fair share of teasing because a guy she was fucking on the side was a complete imbecile, to be perfectly honest.

However, when we did eventually meet, it was obvious that there was a mountain of chemistry between us. I had always thought that it was just platonic "I think F is great" chemistry and thought nothing more of it and I assumed the chemistry she felt (and had admitted to) was the same - my assumption was that if she wanted a fuck, she'd have made a move. F wasn't backwards in coming forwards if she wanted a seeing to. Regardless, we eventually met up with each other about three times - once in her home city, once in mine and once elsewhere with a bunch of fellow hobbyists - and each time, there was the same chemistry, but we never did anything about it apart from have a laugh and drink copious amounts of alcohol.

However, I think the chemistry I now have with CH is pretty much the same as I had with F - to some extent they're very similar people in terms of attitude and telling it like it is. That's only surprising because, under other circumstances, I think I'd fuck CH. The reasons why we never will are documented on here, so I don't have to repeat myself.

So, the resultant "Eureka" moment from my conversation a few weeks back is that I think I might have wanted to fuck F all along but didn't recognise that because there was no immediate lust going on, just a kind of ambiguous chemistry. No doubt if I were to tell this little story/revelation to others, specifically those who knew both parties (there aren't a lot of them to be fair) that they might not be that surprised. I don't think there'd be too many "I told you so" comments, but it might not be the revelation to them as it was to me.

I'd love to see her again, mind you. Always have, even before last week's sudden lightbulb.

I dunno LOL.

MfW has a girl in tonight. He's seen her before - they're ex-work colleagues but work in different towns so I've no idea how they know each other. Regardless, for the past few weeks, they've been seeing each other regularly - he goes off to hers, she comes up to ours. I don't know if it's serious or just fuck buddies, but it is regular.

I thought they might have gone to the pub tonight, leaving me in front of the telly with a few beers, but no. MfW is cooking! Bear in mind that all he eats is stuff you can throw in the microwave/oven, I thought that cooking for a bird he's trying to impress might be a risky venture.

Then I saw what he was "cooking". A pre-made Tesco chicken dinner thing (for two) with a large portion of thick-cut Tesco oven chips. Bang everything in the oven for 35 minutes and you're done.

He's a 31 year old man and I've never seen him cook anything properly in the many years I've known him. Certainly with his last serious girlfriend, he never cooked beyond maybe frying a steak and throwing some Tesco ready-made mash in the microwave.

UF is the same, actually, though he and his now fiancé actually go out to cafés and restaurants. MfW is a man who earns almost £12000 more than me per year and yet skimps on absolutely everything where he can. However, he hates thinking that he's lost out.

For example, when we moved into this place, we divided the rent in relation to the size of the bedrooms. The master room (with ensuite) is significantly more than the middle sized room which is slightly more than the smaller room. MfW challenged the rate for the larger room, but still wanted it. I said that I was prepared to take the largest room and was also prepared to pay the extra amount due to the larger size and en-suite... and yet MfW still insisted that he wanted the room. I think he felt that he was being manoeuvred out of it.

UF automatically declared a preference for the smallest room (and hence the cheapest rent). MfW and I ended up tossing a coin because MfW refused to back down - he continually said that it was too expensive, but wouldn't just admit defeat. I honestly think he sees it as a sign of weakness or something. When I voiced a theory that UF will move out next summer (he's getting married late next year) when our lease is due for renewal, MfW quickly said that he'd move into UF's room. He hates the fact that UF is paying approximately £40 less than him per month - he still thinks that he's "losing" and that it's all a big competition.

Personally, I'd love the master room. I've no qualms about taking it and paying the current price for it - I could put a larger room and en-suite to very good use... plus having to use the communal bathroom might mean he's a bit more aware about having to do some housework around the place.

I still don't understand how a man who wants a flashy place where he can impress girls won't do any housework and lives like a student, despite being a professional and earning an extremely good salary for the area.

Hmmm. That kinda turned into a bit of an anti-MfW post. Ah, fuck it. I'm away for a beer.

Sigh.

I was meant to be heading out with DSC this weekend and it took a lot of persuasion to get her out. She's miserable at the moment and her boyfriend being a useless muppet isn't helping her. Apart from meeting her a few times this year for lunch, shopping trips and whatnot, I can't recall hearing her say that she's been out with her friends. This is a girl who used to love getting dressed up and coming out for a few drinks and a bit of a dance.

I got a text today - she's crying off. Admittedly there are reasons for her crying off - medical ones - but she has this habit of deciding she's not in the mood to go out and then just cancelling, even though we're still three full days away and the medical thing in itself is not stopping her from going out.

Often, I think she'd be better off seeing through the social engagements rather than moping in the house (alone) or arguing with her boyfriend because he a) doesn't understand b) doesn't care and probably c) will be at the pub with his mates.

I think I am still angry, because I expected her to cry off anyway, but also because I don't think she helps herself and sometimes I think she likes to be unhappy. Staying in when her partner is away to the pub gives her something to complain about...

No title necessary.

Recently, my blog hit the 4000 post mark in just over seven and a half years. That's roughly 533 visits per week or just over ten per day. On average, that is. Or is it? I can't remember if that's just from when the counter was started or if it's the entire thing. I prefer to think of it as the entire thing because I am currently too lazy to look at the settings and confirm it one way or the other.

Still, not too many comments though, which is kinda disappointing. Maybe I should just shut down the commenting function and be done with it?

Ho hum

Last night was ummm... not as good as I'd hoped it was going to be. It started off well, KfW2's friend (let's call her CC) arrived at mine wearing a very nice dress with a plunging neckline, coupled with a Wonderbra so the goods were very much on display (and she's not a, well, small girl). Eye contact with her was difficult! KfW2 arrived at her usual time (45 mins after she says she will), but the four of us enjoyed a few hours at mine, chatting and having a laugh. Even KfW2 voiced her opinion that she was having enough fun at mine without having to go out to a club, but sadly the decision was not ours to make.

We left and went to the club. The problem I have with this club is pretty much the music - the actual interior is great, but the music is, IMO, really not my scene. Last night's, as an example, was far too dancey for starters, and that was after KfW2's friend had said that the DJ who was on was playing a wider (less dancey) mix of music than usual.

KfW2's busty young friend was after a man and took herself off after snagging one, KfW2 was out with her fiancé so they went off for a dance and a snog as you do and I was left as a kind of third wheel on my own. I don't even recall that there was that much totty about to perv at or chat to. It's at times like this that having a girlfriend would be great - especially when KfW2 makes her relationship with her fiancé look easy, fun and worthwhile (unlike DSC's car crash of a relationship that's enough to put anyone off a relationship)

KfW2's friend returned after a bit because there was something wrong with the one she'd chosen. It appears she's even more choosy than I am! So, with the four of us all together again, the night got better, and the DJ played music that was more in tune with my tastes.

We left late-ish, but before the end and came back to mine for a few more drinks before I called taxis and everyone went home. I had the hangover from hell today (I blame the cigarettes more than the booze), but recovered mid-afternoon.

KfW2 keeps asking if I had a good time. I say I did. I did mostly, apart from that middle period which was only about half an hour, but I'm not sure she believes me.

The weekend appraches

Tonight is a chilling night. Tomorrow, I'm out with KfW2 and a few others to a club. We're meeting at mine, having a few drinks then moving on. With my new found sense of optimism from last Friday night, I have decided that it will be fun. Maybe not as... ummm... productive as last Friday night, but fun nonetheless. I'll probably have to pop down to Tesco tomorrow and get a few things in. Can't be a bad host!

I also popped round to see M and MM last night and their new baby. A good couple of hours entertainment and chat and catching up. No opportunity, I thought, of mentioning MMBF until the end as I was walking out the door and asked MM to pass on my best to her, which resulted in a weird, knowing smile from MM. I didn't follow it up as it was already late and MM was taking the infant off for a feed.

Also made arrangements for the next weekend to head out with DSC on a proper Saturday night out, though she's promising to stay sober (her utterly useless boyfriend has made his own arrangements for the next five weekends and DSC's complaints that he never takes her out are falling on deaf ears). DSC's cute friend with the great rack has all but disappeared and bar the odd post on Facebook, doesn't figure any more so won't be out. Oh and has recently changed her relationship status too changing whatever outside chance I had of a shag into zero.

Grrr...

I had planned to take a night class this year, partly because there are a few things I'd like to be able to do (better) and it's a good excuse to get out of the house for a few hours per week and perhaps meet some new people.

I spent last week trying to get the hold of someone who could tell me more about the course that I was specifically looking for and after a few days to-ing and fro-ing, I had all the details I needed and just needed to enrol.

Except, trying to get information on enrolment was impossible. The website contradicted the email... a brochure on the website contradicted both the website and the email I'd received.

Eventually, after trying to enrol over the phone (I called well over thirty times in three or four days), I took an hour out of work and went to do it personally. The course was full. It had been empty all summer and even when the tutor was emailling me, all places were unfilled, but in the five days since I had been trying to enroll, the course had been maxed out.

To say I was angry was an understatement. I really, really fucking hate academia.

Sunday blues.

FP cried off last night and GM had already made plans. That's probably a blessing in disguise. I sat in, had a few beers and watched rubbish on the telly. Today, I've been busy-ish. I've done some research for my fitness plan/goals, I've researched a course I want to do at night class this year and I've gotten some stuff done around the house. Not bad for a Sunday. I tried to get S out to the cinema, but he's playing hard to get.

I dread to think the state I'd have been in if I'd gone out and had a load more pints. I'm tired today... still need to catch up on sleep from Friday night, but my head's clear enough that I can do stuff.

Well, I never!

Hmmm... it's interesting where things take you when you least suspect it. After blogging a few posts recently about stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things - specifically related to KfW2's friend's birthday, the last thing I expected was to go out and sleep with a 26 year old.

This is off the back of a few conversations I'd had elsewhere about body issues (prompted by this post) and self-esteem/confidence.

I got a call last night, late on. Well, not that late, but late enough for me. It was after 10PM and I was just settling in for a night on the sofa and a beer when I got a call from a friend suggesting a few drinks. This was not totally unexpected - we'd made tentative arrangements, but I tend to be quite settled by 10PM and never bother going out once I get into the "settled" mentality. Friday was different - it was a great day here and I had been busy around the house doing bits and pieces so hadn't yet gotten into that settled frame of mind.

I threw on a quick change of clothes and headed out. We had a good night - plenty of chatting and some flirty banter with a few girls - a typical night out with the two guys I was with (S and another guy that the girls find cute - I'll call him GM).

An aside about S and GM - I used to work with them a few years ago. I've known S for a good while now, but GM is someone I've only known for about three years, but he's a good lad. Despite the fact he's ten years younger than me, we do share a lot of things in common, so he's easy to get along with. S is, too, for the most part. We all used to hang around in the same group with KfW and JB, which is how S introduced me to everyone.

We stopped off at a late night greasy spoon for some food and while we were sitting there a reasonably cute, petite, blonde girl came and sat down while her friends got food. For whatever reason, her friends disappeared, leaving her on her own. We didn't figure this out until fifteen minutes later. She claimed she was drunk, but didn't seem it, though was quite flighty and random in her comments. So we sat around the table, chatting and generally having a laugh.

By this point, myself and GM looked to be interested in this girl, but she was definitely making eyes at me. S was, well, I dunno. I dunno if he was interested, but he was IMO, making a dick out of himself. When she went off to make a phone call to see if she could find her friends, GM made a (verbal) tactical withdrawal. We said that we'd stay and make sure she got a taxi whereupon she invited us all to a party, having made contact with her friend.

GM declined and shepherded S away (he was still being dickish, but I think it was drunken dickish rather than deliberately dickish, if you get my meaning), leaving me and the blonde girl. I don't usually turn up to anything on the basis of a third-party invitation (see recent posts about KfW2's friend's birthday), but I knew that MfW2 was having a fuck buddy over for a pre-arranged booty call, so wanted to keep my head down. This is usually where I call things a night - a handy get out clause - but in light of recent conversations, I took the other option, to stay out, to see what happens.

We managed to flag a taxi and get to the party whereupon the girl's friend was being annoying by pretending not to hear the door and refused me entry (despite giving her friend permission to bring all three of us not fifteen minutes previously).

I said that I'd just head home - no harm done - but the blonde girl insisted on making her own way home too as she was pissed at her friend for both abandoning her at the cafe and then being a moron when she showed up.

It turned out that we were both heading roughly in the same way, so we flagged a taxi down with the intent of dropping her off at hers on my way back to mine. It would have been a slight detour. But when we got to hers, she invited me in for a drink, and I accepted. Sometimes I'm clueless about women, but I had noticed the signals and wanted to see how this would pan out.

Suffice to say that the drink didn't last too long before we were sat on her sofa, snogging away. And we weren't doing that too long before things progressed.

As a result, I've had precious little sleep due to a late night finish and an early morning start. I've been spaced out all day and have already potential arrangements with FP tonight for the pub as well that I'm strangely looking forward to, despite the fatigue.

It's unlikely that there will be any further contact with this girl. At 26, I don't think she's relationship material and, well, there is kinda the issue that she thinks I'm eight years younger than I really am.