So, it kinda all fell apart. Days of stress and worry, on top of a days long headache and additional stomach problems culminated in me chatting to one of the guys who were going to interview me to tell him that I was withdrawing my application.
I cited some personal reasons alongside some apprehension around the professional side. All of which were true.
If I am being honest part of me had hoped that the interviewer would talk me out of it, but while he was very understanding, he made no attempt to change my mind.
In reality, my concerns about my memory alongside my stress turned into panic. By 11 AM this morning I was quite literally worried sick. The interview was at 3 PM. I simply couldn't wait it out and even if I could have, I would be in no state to actually do the interview, never mind do well.
KfW2 was livid. CC was more understanding.
Once I had chatted with the interviewer, my immediate panic lessened, but the headache and stomach issues remained. It was tea time before my appetite came back, though my stomach and head were still sore.
Will I end up regretting my decision today? I honestly don't know. Will the same thing happen the next time I have an interview? If I do nothing, then maybe. However, I can begin prepartion now. Create a source of interview answers so that I am not scrambling the next time, read over it frequently so it's second nature. That way, I can reduce the stress.
I've also, as persuaded by KfW2, arrange to see my GP about my stomach issues and I'm considering raising the memory stuff.
It's been a tough day.
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