Dreams.

I was talking to KfW2 earlier. She was up in the early hours of this morning for a work thing. Around the same time, I awoke because of a bad dream.

"Tell me about it" said KfW2.

"I'd rather not"

"Go on."

"It was a bad dream, let's leave it at that."

"Sounds bad"

"A bad dream, is all."

"Who died?"

I paused. Should I tell her the details?

"You did."

Another pause. Eventually KfW2 spoke.

"Did you miss me?" she laughed.

It really affected me. The dream was that KfW2 was diagnosed with a terminal illness, but she didn't tell me. I think it was cancer, but that detail didn't seem important. She just kept on doing her day-to-day stuff until her time was up. After she passed, I got a letter where she told me how much I had meant to her and that she didn't want to tell me about the illness because she just wanted my normal company in her remaining days. I couldn't sleep after that. I can't describe how I felt at 4 AM this morning but it was very unsettling.

Curiosity got the better of KfW2 and she started asking more questions. I didn't want to talk about it. I answered some, but not all, of her questions and we eventually moved on to other topics.

The dream reminded me of something that F told me about 12 years ago - she had to go into hospital for an operation. She never explained what it was for, just that it required general anaesthetic. And then she dropped the bombshell... she had left some letters with her solicitor to be sent if the worst happened. And one of those letters was to be delivered to me.

I've always wondered what it contained.