Sigh.

As expected and posted in yesterday's digest, it's been another stressful day. It's likely to continue to be so until tomorrow morning at the earliest, tomorrow afternoon at the latest. Some of this goes back to my confidence issues. I know that I am good at my job, but sometimes when things go wrong (as I explained this is about 20% me, 80% other factors), I get stressed.

I like time to think, but the past two weeks has been scrambling, chasing my tail at the behest of others because of a compressed timescale that was someone else's fault. If I were working with other people, that might not be an issue, but my project partner was allocated another project months ago and I've been doing this myself.

There will be finger pointing and there will be a fight about who's to blame and I have to rely on a boss who's 5000 miles away and, I suspect, doesn't even like me.

I also can't turn off. Without stimulus, distraction and company, I simply focus on the issues and that's not helpful. To be honest, it's made me feel a little bit lonely, not having someone I can talk to, hug, who would take my mind off the issues.

In addition, I ran out of oil last week, it was delivered today and I fired up the central heating for some hot water... but the boiler won't fire. I've no instruction manual and all my tools seem to have disappeared during my big decorating phase of last summer/autumn. I'll probably make a call out to the parents or brother-in-law tomorrow evening.

Looks like another sleepless night. Sigh.