Grrr.

One of the things that's annoyed me about KfW2 is that, in work, she's selfish/single-minded. She's asked me to do favours for her, then made demands on my time when I say I'll do it when I can.

"Can you do me this favour please?"

"Not right now, but I can do it after lunch"

"OK"

Five minutes later...

"I really need it right now. Can you do this for me please?"

And then we'd get into an "argument" about our internal reward system because I would do the favour and she'd refuse to acknowledge my generosity in the system.

Earlier, she pinged me and asked me to go for coffee... in ten minutes. So, I arrive at her desk at the requested time and she's finishing up some work. This is also a recurring issue, by the way. I'm standing nearby, waiting for her to finish. Just as she's finishing up, probably five to ten minutes later, someone approaches her desk and asks her a question.

What's the etiquette here, dear reader?

Personally, I'd say "Can I get back to you in fifteen minutes, Ruuude's been waiting for me".

KfW2, however, perceives this person to be a higher priority than I am, and I spend another fifteen minutes while she has a chat with this person.

So, that means I've spent fifteen to twenty minutes waiting for KfW2.

That's not a one-off, and with KfW2 moving into a new job with greater responsibilities, this kind of thing isn't going to get any less frequent.

Girly Nights Out

I bumped into MFF today. She asked if I was going to go to the Xmas Party. I'm not. It's not fun any more and the people I used to have fun with have moved on. MFF is going - she has a routine with OK and another girl (and previously CH as well) where they'll all get ready to go out at MFF's with a few drinks then arrive just as the meal is being served, and follow that up with a few hours of dancing.

And, quite frankly, I've no desire to socialise with Stalky Guy on my own. If I am being honest, the years of favouritism shown to him has bred resentment when there's only the two of us. That's why I don't do our monthly work thing if it's only the two of us any more.

KfW2 is going, though she might only stay for the meal and leave. My offer of a bed for the night has been refused. I had kinda hoped that she'd be out a while, take me up on my offer and we'd at least have a few drinks when she got back into the house. After all, she managed to stay up until well after 4 AM last year with CC when she stayed there. Still... if KfW2 is not staying at mine, that frees me up to try and get a few friends out for a beer or two.

Well, I never!

In the past, I've sometimes gone Facebook stalking for old acquaintances and crushes... Most of the time, it's curiosity on my part and the person in question has crossed my mind for some random reason. Other times, it's because someone has asked specifically about them - KfW2 or USHW for example would sometimes want to know more about someone I've mentioned in conversation.

A lot of them cannot be found on Facebook - they don't have social media accounts or I can't remember their surname, or they married and changed it, or never knew it (for some of my more fleeting dalliances).

Once, I came across someone (CAB) purely by accident, probably eight years or so after we'd dated and she left the country. That provoked an email that turned into a very brief chat (she was about to travel the world, just as I was). We've not been in contact since.

However, imagine my surprise when I was hunting through YouTube recently and a video that included CAB was recommended to me. That was confusing - the video was not on a topic that I'd be interested (university courses). Still, it provoked a few good memories.

Just stuff

Today is the sixth anniversary of an interesting night out - it was the night that something serious might have happened with CH (I've blogged about it before, but I can't find the post or I'd link it), and I ended up dancing, albeit briefly, with the woman who would go on to become Quiet Girl.

Quiet Girl is opening up to me more and more each time we talk. It's a far cry from the first few times where it was impossible to get anything out of her (I remember a bus journey in particular). We actually sat on the bus yesterday on the way home and she was being very chatty. This is on top of the fact she's now sitting closer to me and getting involved in some of the chat that I'm provoking with the others around me.

Maybe she's simply like me - takes a while to open up to someone. I'd hope that I'm not giving off the impression of being that standoffish though.

Lookalikes

I've posted a few times about a local celeb that I've spotted on Tinder, and despite swipes and super likes, I'm still nowhere near starting a conversation, never mind getting a date.

I was browsing a news website earlier and I came across a story about the new Prime Minister of Finland.

Here she is:

What is the link between a local celebrity and the youngest Prime Minister in the world? Well, nothing really apart from a similarity in how they look. There's more to be said about Sanna Marin's new position how she will head a women-led coalition government in Finland and how I hope she's as successful as Jacinda Ardern (who I'm a great admirer of). And jealous, because we're about to have Boris Johnson as Prime Minister.

Bah humbug?

"It doesn't feel like Christmas" opined KfW2 as we walked to the bus stop.

I agreed.

Unlike KfW2 though, this didn't disappoint me. I don't particularly like Christmas. I tend to feel very lonely, even when I'm busy socially. This year though, it looks very quiet from a social point of view.

Just stuff.

I don't want to go into the specifics, but a friend of mine posted something on Facebook that tied them to a reasonably famous actress. I've found myself day-dreaming all day about being asked to show this person around my home town. It's far-fetched. My friend is unlikely to meet the actress in question, much less recommend me as a tour guide should that celebrity come to town.

Oh la la!

I haven't been sleeping well this week due to illness, but last night I dreamed of V. Specifically, the night V and I went out partying for Halloween and then stayed up all night long, drinking and talking.

And then, browsing the Internet this morning, I came across a photo that reminded me of V's costume that night, Snow White. When she turned up at my place afterwards, she'd changed into jeans and still looked awesome, but part of me reckons had she still been in the costume that I'd have made a move because she was sexy af in that outfit.

Edit: Actually, V's costume might have been Alice in Wonderland, but it was pretty much the same thing, including the stockings.

Stuff (cough, cough)

I've been out of sorts over the past week or so. It's mostly just being run down, but a few weeks ago I developed the beginnings of a cold that I was able to shake before it took hold properly. Then last week, I simply wasn't sleeping well and though I didn't take any time off work, I was burned out by Friday.

Then yesterday, I got out of bed having had practically no sleep - back pain in my lower back made sleep tricky, plus a cold finally got me. I spent all day on the sofa wrapped in a blanket, drinking herbal tea. And I got no sleep last night either - continued back pain coupled with the cold's symptoms meant that I managed to doze in 45-minute bursts.

I'm drugged up today and I'm sitting in the house. I had a PTO day pre-booked, so I've yet to take any actual sick days.

The back thing is not related to the cold... it's more related to my sedentary lifestyle and, this is just a hunch, but the new office chair I bought around this time last year.

Daytime TV is crap, I'm currently watching Sliders - an old science fiction programme.

I remember back in the day having a massive crush on Sabrina Lloyd: petite, dark eyes, brunette. Probably not a massive surprise given her (vague) resemblance to Kate Mara in the below photo.

Just stuff.

Another broken night of sleep last night, so I decided to work from home. I don't tend to work from home because I have zero motivation and do very little. Today has been no exception. Lack of motivation coupled with being physically and mentally exhausted has meant I've done about an hour's proper work.

I have, however, binged the entire Season 3 of The Expanse. I'd recommend it it - some really good, adult sci-fi... if sci-fi is your thing.

Feeling down.

Another dream, and again, most of the details are eluding me. Vaguely, I was meeting KfW2 for dinner. It was an occasion. A birthday. Her's, mine, someone else's... I don't know. KfW2's closest friend was there too. What happened is something I can't remember, but what I can remember is that, at the end of the dream, as I was waking up, was that KfW2 was no longer speaking to me.

I don't know if this is related to KfW2's recent promotion/job move. It's provoked something in me that I can't put my finger on. I've touched on my (slight) jealousy and my apprehension that I think KfW2 is up to the task now being asked of her.

She has a pay rise, but it's come at a price. It might not even be a pay rise at the end of the day. 

Years ago, around the time that KfW2 got married, I confided in USHW that I saw our friendship diminishing as a result. USHW had suggested that the friendship would likely change, but KfW2 would remain my friend. This is true... but... I dunno. This time it feels different. 

It's been too long since KfW2 and I sat down, had a drink and a chat. In public. We do have semi-regular, small chats, but it's mostly work related, or I've been doing her a favour and the chat is secondary. We haven't had one of our nights out in years.

And it looks like that's further away than ever. And that saddens me a great deal, and I guess I'm feeling a bit lonely.