Feeling down.

Another dream, and again, most of the details are eluding me. Vaguely, I was meeting KfW2 for dinner. It was an occasion. A birthday. Her's, mine, someone else's... I don't know. KfW2's closest friend was there too. What happened is something I can't remember, but what I can remember is that, at the end of the dream, as I was waking up, was that KfW2 was no longer speaking to me.

I don't know if this is related to KfW2's recent promotion/job move. It's provoked something in me that I can't put my finger on. I've touched on my (slight) jealousy and my apprehension that I think KfW2 is up to the task now being asked of her.

She has a pay rise, but it's come at a price. It might not even be a pay rise at the end of the day. 

Years ago, around the time that KfW2 got married, I confided in USHW that I saw our friendship diminishing as a result. USHW had suggested that the friendship would likely change, but KfW2 would remain my friend. This is true... but... I dunno. This time it feels different. 

It's been too long since KfW2 and I sat down, had a drink and a chat. In public. We do have semi-regular, small chats, but it's mostly work related, or I've been doing her a favour and the chat is secondary. We haven't had one of our nights out in years.

And it looks like that's further away than ever. And that saddens me a great deal, and I guess I'm feeling a bit lonely.