Rambling on further.

I'm now settled in to my new place, but I think I need to work on a couple of things. First of all, I do need to spend more time with my new housemates. I'm still stuck in a routine online that takes me away from the guys, spending time alone in my room doing some of the online things I used to do in my old place. Seeing as part of my goal in getting a new place was to open up and become more social (with a better social life the ultimate goal), sitting in my room on a forum and on Facebook is kinda defeating the purpose a bit, though I am readjusting slowly.

Secondly, there are potential meetings with QC2 and FA1 in the pipeline. FA1 should crop up next week at the earliest, but not too long after that, if things go according to plan. QC2 is different. The ball is in her court, but she's yet to pop up and arrange something (although she has been in email contact). It'd be great to see her again (but then I am a sucker for spending time in the company of attractive girls, even just for a chat and a drink.

Ramble on.

Sometimes, when I am unsure of myself, I read through some of USHW's really old blog posts, the ones from before The Big Incident (there are capital letters there for a reason). Now, before I go any further, when I say "unsure of myself", I don't mean I'm hugely depressed or anything, just that I might be under-estimating how great I am. USHW used to tell me I had a huge ego, half-jokingly (I think), but sometimes it was true because there are some things I do know I'm simply fucking great at.

There are some things I'm not so great at. Selling myself is one. That could be to a team leader in trying to get recognition for a job well done, trying to make myself heard in a group or trying to make a good impression on a girl (for romantic or sexual reasons).

Reading through USHW's old blog posts is an ego massage, but it has a purpose over and above some psycho-wankery... it does help me realise that I can be good at these things should I put my mind to it.

On a good day, I can be really good at selling myself to girls, at making a good impression, but I really have to be in a particular mood or have a good foil for some banter. Sadly, I can't really turn it on or off by myself. Apart from the recent blonde girl thing (which is still being pondered and nothing is decided or deduced), the last time I made a big impression on a girl was RB last summer and that was more a mutual attraction thing going on, right from the start. By that I mean we both knew we were attracted to each other, so it was a matter of not putting the other person off rather than trying to sell yourself to the other person. Even then, things fell apart, despite the fact RB was interested.

I guess this confidence dip is as a result of this blonde girl. I still don't know if she's interested or even if I am (for reasons explained in previous posts), but I'd like to be in a position to at least make a good impression and that's where things start going awry. There might be other forces at hand, too, but that's to be pondered.

The other thing that I realised when I was reading USHW's blog was that we don't really communicate any more. USHW doesn't say much on her blog any more... hasn't done for a while, and our communication via Facebook (or only other channel of communication) is very sporadic. I miss chatting to a few people on MSN as I used to do, and USHW is right up there.

Is there a reason for this post? Not really... I was thinking some things and needed to see them in the written word. Now I think I can deal with them better.

A dilemma, of sorts.

I am still considering contacting R2, a girl I met way back in '93 or '94 who went to live in America. We kinda lost contact down the years, but I saw her in the town recently-ish and I had previously found her on Facebook. The only thing that's holding me back is the wording of the message I send to her. What do I say to someone I haven't contacted in thirteen or fourteen years?

Results?

Well, I had a great time at the pub last night. I did get to spend a lot of time chatting to the blonde girl that I mentioned a month or so ago and I think my stock might well be rising with her.

However, she seems a little... I dunno... prudish? I don't know if that's the right word to use, but she mentioned that she'd snogged plenty of guys but when it came to talking about sex, she seemed embarrassed.

She is attractive, but I don't think she's dating material, but she might be worth pursuing for a shag. She seems a little high maintenance for me, hence the non-dating thing, but she is a really nice girl. I don't know if she'd be the type of girl that has sex just for the sake of a fuck though, given her "prudishness" and vocabulary last night.

I guess things are still ongoing, and the group of people out last night do seem to spend a bit of time match-making (though none of them are dating material in my opinion, there are a few I'd happily snog/shag). From what was said last night, I think this blonde girl is quite pro-active (strangely while appearing quite timid), so if she is interested (and I do actually make up mind if this is what I want), then I shouldn't have to wait too long.

Yay

A mate from work has just been in contact about heading out tonight. There will be a few people out, including that blonde girl I mentioned a few weeks ago, which might make things interesting (and at least make things nice to look at).

I've got a few things to do, but will head into town in a few hours.

Is there anything wrong with this picture?

It was a good weekend. On Friday, I made a successful comeback to the work's footy after a recent hamstring tear, though my legs have been aching all weekend. I was out with FP on Friday night where we trundled around a few bars before I called it quits reasonably early at midnight. Yesterday, after enjoying a (very rare) lie-in, I caught the new Star Trek flick at the cinema, follwed by a bite to eat and a few pints watching the footy on the telly before returning home and chilling out for an hour or so and then calling it a day. Today has been spent chilling out (it's a glorious day here - bright and sunny if a little on the cool side) and I'll probably watch a DVD this evening before trying to get a good night's sleep.

On reflection though, yesterday wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been for one reason: I did it all on my own. It would be nice to have someone that I can call up and do stuff like this without the weeks of planning that's required for other people (i.e. those in relationships, with mortgages, with kids). It doesn't have to be female (though there can be obvious benefits there if it were), but it would be nice just to be able to know that I can meet people socially and have a pool of people from which to choose rather than be reliant on FP all the time.

Yes, there are people like QC2, but she's more of a mid-week coffee/drink friend than heading to the pub for pints and football. People like AM are just too unreliable. FP is busy with his own life and everyone else (including QC2) are the kind of people that can get out every few months.

I suppose, if I did a bit of work figuring things out, I could schedule my life months in advance, see all these people and be out every week or two out opf three weeks instead of one out of three weeks.

We'll see... I'm still eyeing up the dating sites (though even the free ones haven't offered too much since I first launched my profile there months ago), so I might tweak my profile seeing as I'm really considering using these "properly".

An interesting weekend!

Friday started off well. It was our regular work-related piss up as I've no doubt mentioned before. I had a few beers with the boys, then me and a few others took ourselves off while a female colleague played silly buggers. She seems to crave male attention though I wouldn't necessarily call her a tease or a flirt. The amount of guys that run around after her is unreal though. I was kinda hoping that the girl I mentioned from a few weeks back would be out, and she was for the early part of the evening, but when we all met up later for some pool and beers, she was nowhere to be seen, sadly. We nodded at each other earlier, but that good impression I thought I made wasn't as good as I'd originally thought, I think.

Saturday proved to be interesting in that I had a conversation with a friend of E on a social site. We talked about online dating and E. I mentioned that I was probably going to try online dating soon once I settle in, more to expand my social life than for dating per se, but obviously I'd only be selecting women where there was a possibility of things evolving. I might settle down this weekend or the weekend after and start updating my profiles that I've had on a few sites now but that were never used.

E's friend also mentioned that she'd hoped that E and I would hook up, not that she thought there was anything going on (she says), just that she knew we were close and wanted the best for E. That sparked a further conversation about the amount of times E and I were out and people DID think we were dating. E's friend was fairly interested in that, but the conversation moved on to other things and E's friend doesn't know me well enough to prod further (or just ask questions) that perhaps QC2 or USHW might have asked.

Goals... one to tick off... more to follow.

I finally managed to move into the new place, only three weeks after signing the lease. Three weeks. *sigh*

The good first impression I had of the place have quickly worn off.

There's nothing immediately wrong with the flatmates... they seem sound enough and I'm only starting to get to know them and another couple of weeks will soon sort the men from the boys. The room itself is great and I've got mostly everything unpacked (except for the library that is my book collection) and my room already feels like home.

The issue is the house in general... none of the lights in the public areas work - hall, landing, living room, kitchen, which is going to play havoc at late-night wandering (luckily I'm right beside the bathroom and am unlikely to be playing sexy Hide and Seek with a female any time soon). There doesn't seem to be a vacuum cleaner, so carpetted areas are a tad dusty and the two guys behave like two guys... vast areas of the house do need a cloth run over them, just to give the place an instant facelift. Also, there's precious little in the way of cooking equipment. One saucepan that I've found so far. That's not going to help my side-goal of expanding my cooking range.

I might leave it a bit before I talk to the land lady, but we'll see what the next few weeks brings.

The morning after...

I managed to find myself out at the pub last night. It was a move that I'd kinda engineered myself, by talking to a few people, and managed, without them realising, to get myself invited to a birthday party of sorts. I semi-know the people involved - they're work colleagues and I'd even classify a few of them as friends, even though we don't do a lot of socialising.

It was a good night for all manner of reasons. I think I made a really good impression on a rather attractive young lady, but we'll have to see if anything evolves from that. I don't even know if it's anything I'd like to pursue, but she was nice and has a cracking arse.

I can't remember if I blogged about it, but there was an incident that happened last year when I was out on the town with E. I bumped into a mate of mine who had returned from travelling the world and we were having a drunken conversation while meandering around the bar. He spotted E sitting on her own and went over for a chat without realising she was my friend. We all got talking and during this conversation, this mate of mine mentioned a girl... a girl that he seemed to be quite taken with. He assured us that nothing was farther from the truth, but I've done that myself enough times to know there was probably more involved. Anyway, this girl was visiting last week and he brought her to the bar. I can see why he might be attracted to her - sexy, very good looking, intelligent. I'll have to have to have a quiet word when she leaves after the weekend.

The only other thing of note to say about the night was that one of the girls that was out is a very close friend of RB. I knew RB has a close friend that worked in the same place as me, but I never knew who it was until recently. I never got talking to her, in fact, I never got talking to a few people, but it was still a good night.

Today is fucking awful though.

*sigh*

After sending G RB's details earlier this week, I've been struck down again with an attack of a "meh" mood, tinged with a little bit of... something. Frustration? Regret? Wishful thinking? I don't know exactly what it is, but I've been thinking about RB this week both in terms of what might have been (and her personal baggage aside, she really was a good looking, sexy girl and there was plenty of potential for all sorts of stuff), but also in terms of it being last July since I last had a sniff of any action.

Last week, with FP, we did meet a few girls, but it was all friendly banter. There was no spark of anything other than just having a bit of a laugh, but these nights are few and far between.

Still, USHW's off-line for a bit, but hopefully when she returns, she'll have a tonne of questions to ask based on quite a lot of things, not least this blog.

And in other news...

Two weeks after signing my lease agreement with my landlord and I still haven't moved. That's not really as bad as it looks though as I was really only planning on moving on Good Friday and giving myself a long weekend to settle in to the new house. However, work-related stuff, along with a surprised visit from friends left me with little time to get packed up and prepare to move. So the goal now stands that I'll pack this week and gradually move my stuff across this week and make the final move on Friday for the weekend.

The friend in question, G, was home for a break to consider his future, professionally. With the worldwide recession the way it is, he's got a bit of pondering to do. I might actually pass on RB's details as she might be able to offer some advice... I'll shoot an email off in the morning.

Last night I was out with FP and I had a really good night. The pub was rammed, in a bad way, though there was plenty of female totty to admire. We were a mixed group and we hooked up with this group of three girls and went back to an apartment for further drinks. It got a little bit complicated with the three girls (or rather, with two of them) as a few blokes had their eye(s) on them, but it wasn't nasty or anything and everything worked out the way it should have done (in my own opinion). I'm really not cut out for 5AM finishes though.

With my imminent move taking place this weekend, it's time to start considering the goals again. The gym is on hold until June as I'm in the middle of changing membership from one gym to another, based partly on my house move and partly because it's in a better location overall, so I would have changed even if I hadn't moved house. That leaves the dating angle, though one of E's friends messaged me on one of the dating sites I have a dormant account on. She knew who I was and was dropping a line rather than seeing an anonymous profile and fishing for a date. I tend to back off when I recognise people I know on these sites though.

Still... the interesting summer that I was expecting is still on the cards. We'll have to see where these things are going to take me.