Sigh.

I'm feeling tired, a little depressed, disappointed and very lonely right now.

I was tagged in a post about eleven hours ago on Facebook by CH. In it, she suggested a night out, possibly with KfW2. I didn't see this until I met with CH for coffee this morning at ten o'clock and she told me about it. The reason for the suggestion? She can't make it next week. Plans that have been in motion already for nearly three weeks and she still can't put aside time because of yet another emergency, this time robbing her of money rather than availability.

I was looking forward to that night out for a number of reasons, but the main one was to talk about my relationship status. CH has often asked and commented on it, but we've never really had a proper conversation about it and most times it's been mentioned have been while we were in work - somewhere I don't like having personal conversations.

We'd kinda already started talking about it - I had already suggested, semi-seriously, that CH and the mutual acquaintance's job that night was to find me a woman, so we were already heading down the road to having that conversation. Right now, I feel the need to fill her in on the past eighteen months - GB, CB and MFF for starters, but also online dating and KfW2's lack of understanding, because it's all led to me being very unhappy right now with that aspect of my life. While social nights out aren't intrinsically tied to my relationship status, being let down, regardless of the notice period, does add to the loneliness. This isn't just a CH thing either - GM's recent distance etc. has all fed into this. And it's the one over-riding emotion I'm feeling today, more so than anger or disappointment or sadness.

I sent her a message after afternoon coffee and told her that we should go out for lunch next week. I want to have this conversation with CH, but I can't have it in work and I think we need more than a fifteen minute coffee break to do it justice. As of my leaving work this afternoon, she hadn't replied, so I don't know where this is going to go.