Last night I sent The Date a text, asking for another date this weekend and leaving all the details up to her. I got a reply a few hours later with the expected reply… no further dates. She was very nice about it, but really, it was the message she should have sent last week in all honesty, especially given the somewhat mixed signals that preceded it.
I had thought things had gone well. The date was 'solid' (for want of a better word) and she is attractive, intelligent and good company. From my perspective, there's definitely enough to warrant at least another date, but sadly not to be, even though I appear to pretty much match her idea of her perfect man (according to her profile, not me, before you think I'm being full of myself).
She does spend an awful lot of time on the dating website and has done for months. I already know she dated a friend of mine, M, and he got no further than I did and The Date approached me when I had my previous account last year, looking for photos. Even yesterday, after a 200 mile journey home from her trip away, she then spent a good few hours on the dating site. It appears that she is putting in a lot of time and effort on the site and doesn't want to be single.
The conclusion I have come to, with the help of A and JB, is that she's hunting for that perfect person and the perfect date and the lack of further dating for me is a lack of immediate chemistry. A "thunderbolt" moment, if you will. Unfortunately, I don't believe she'll find it online as online dating, in my opinion, is less about the thunderbolt moments and more about forming bonds... a more cerebral way of doing things. Thunderbolt moments do happen, but more when you meet a person (specifically a stranger) for the first time, not when you've carefully perused a person's profile for an hour before carefully crafting an email and then spending a week swapping emails before meeting in person. I'm not saying it can't or won't happen; just that it's unlikely when you're online dating.
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