- A invited me to her wedding, officially. I want to go, but I only know A and absolutely no one else. It would require some travel and a hotel, so it's a fair commitment. I can't do it on my own and I will probably RSVP and sadly decline. If I had a date (and I have daydreamed about this date being RB), I would in all likelihood, go. But I've not been offered a +1.
- I was at a comedy thing tonight. Alone. Just me. Watching all these people come in to the theatre with their friends/boyfriends/wives/partners etc. just depressed me. It's not necessarily a relationship thing here, but more a social thing, but that A thing above and not-as-recent-as-it-feels RB thing are leaning me towards wanting a female mate for socialising (and, yes, if I am honest, some sex) and if that is a girlfriend/partner, then so be it.
- I'd love to go travelling again and my experiences this year in doing a little mini-tour with E lead me to believe I'd not want to do it alone. As with point #2 above, this doesn't necessarily equate to females and relationships, but I've never done any travelling with a girlfriend and I think it would be fun (plus I could get my fill of hotel sex, which I absolutely love)
- During a recent email conversation, A was asking all about my recent brushes with RB, the ones where we never made eye contact and the ones where we did. She was upbeat about the whole thing, suggesting that things might still change should we get a chance to chat. Well, I know it shouldn't, but it did put me in a good mood and I did kinda start thinking about RB again, a little.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
So...
So, I'm in a "I don't want to be single" mood. I can identify why I am in this mood for a few reasons:
Friday, October 17, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A good day...
Today was a good day. I got a lot of the recent frustrating projects in work out the door. They weren't difficult, just disorganised which led to plenty of frustration around the office, not just from me, but from other people involved. They've pretty much been completed, so it's good that they're out the door.
Also, while I was out for a stroll at lunchtime for some fresh air, I half-bumped in to RB who was out with a co-worker. This time, we did make eye contact, swapped a reasonably enthusiastic "hi" and a smile. While I don't think anything will ever develop between RB and myself, at least she didn't blank me and there still is opportunity for a chat should I bump into her by herself in town or at the pub.
I remember her being prettier though... but that might have been because the only two times I've met her, there was a potential for sexytime. (Though that's not to say I wouldn't... because I stil definitely would!)
Also, while I was out for a stroll at lunchtime for some fresh air, I half-bumped in to RB who was out with a co-worker. This time, we did make eye contact, swapped a reasonably enthusiastic "hi" and a smile. While I don't think anything will ever develop between RB and myself, at least she didn't blank me and there still is opportunity for a chat should I bump into her by herself in town or at the pub.
I remember her being prettier though... but that might have been because the only two times I've met her, there was a potential for sexytime. (Though that's not to say I wouldn't... because I stil definitely would!)
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Status: squiffy
Yup, I've had a few drinks and am in that nice, warm, numb state between complete sobriety and actually being drunk.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Introspective.
In light of the stuff that's gone on recently, I've spent the past few hours taking stock of my life.
Things aren't bad, but they could be better:
Job: it's ok, but I recently missed the opportunity to go on a training course that could potentially lead to me learning some real skills that I can use in my career of choice whereas right now, I'm learning technical stuff that's not used elsewhere. All I needed to do was send an email to my boss a few months ago and I would have had a real shout at getting on this course. All I can do now is send the email and hope the course comes along again early next year.
Relationships: the frustration from RB is still there, but as I've already blogged about, I've signed up to a few different outlets that might provide a step forward. The reason there's been little progress is partly because of laziness, but partly because I haven't got the time to sit down and compose a good opening message to these potential dates. "Poking" them a la Facebook does not seem to have any effect and I would like to sort something else out before I really immerse myself in this project. A mentioned that I was on her wedding invite list and wanted to know if I'd go. I'd love to, but I've only ever met A in the flesh twice and her fiance once. I'd be in the middle of another country, on my own, with my useless social skills. I'd really need a date. Sadly, my daydreams have even gone so far as to imagine RB taking that role, so I'd better knock that on the head sharpish.
Living situation: I've seen a couple of places that I'd be interested in moving in to, but I've yet to make any moves to get in contact (and these places are likely to go fairly quickly). Again, there is a small element of laziness, but also the fact that searching for places to live kinda slips my mind and I forget about it after coming home from work. I need to be less lazy (though that could be said about my life overall) and more organised.
Health: my health's not bad, to be honest. It could be better, but that's because I've been remarkably injury prone over the past two years and that's really cut down the amount of gym time and football I could be doing/playing. I'm hoping to get down to the gym at least twice this week for a light workout to strengthen my groin muscles after a reasonably serious strain that I've found it hard to recover from. That should hopefully lead into more football the week after next and harder, more intense gym workouts.
However, if I could click my fingers and make those adjustments I've mentioned above, I think I'd be in a much happier frame of mind.
Things aren't bad, but they could be better:
Job: it's ok, but I recently missed the opportunity to go on a training course that could potentially lead to me learning some real skills that I can use in my career of choice whereas right now, I'm learning technical stuff that's not used elsewhere. All I needed to do was send an email to my boss a few months ago and I would have had a real shout at getting on this course. All I can do now is send the email and hope the course comes along again early next year.
Relationships: the frustration from RB is still there, but as I've already blogged about, I've signed up to a few different outlets that might provide a step forward. The reason there's been little progress is partly because of laziness, but partly because I haven't got the time to sit down and compose a good opening message to these potential dates. "Poking" them a la Facebook does not seem to have any effect and I would like to sort something else out before I really immerse myself in this project. A mentioned that I was on her wedding invite list and wanted to know if I'd go. I'd love to, but I've only ever met A in the flesh twice and her fiance once. I'd be in the middle of another country, on my own, with my useless social skills. I'd really need a date. Sadly, my daydreams have even gone so far as to imagine RB taking that role, so I'd better knock that on the head sharpish.
Living situation: I've seen a couple of places that I'd be interested in moving in to, but I've yet to make any moves to get in contact (and these places are likely to go fairly quickly). Again, there is a small element of laziness, but also the fact that searching for places to live kinda slips my mind and I forget about it after coming home from work. I need to be less lazy (though that could be said about my life overall) and more organised.
Health: my health's not bad, to be honest. It could be better, but that's because I've been remarkably injury prone over the past two years and that's really cut down the amount of gym time and football I could be doing/playing. I'm hoping to get down to the gym at least twice this week for a light workout to strengthen my groin muscles after a reasonably serious strain that I've found it hard to recover from. That should hopefully lead into more football the week after next and harder, more intense gym workouts.
However, if I could click my fingers and make those adjustments I've mentioned above, I think I'd be in a much happier frame of mind.
Weirdness
My aunt (my dad's brother's wife) died last night. She wasn't ill or anything, she just collapsed late in the evening and never properly recovered. I'm not even sure what happened, just that she collapsed in her home, fell over, hit her head and that was it. The paramedics tried for quite a while to resuscitate her, but to no avail. In fact, my parents had been down visiting her only hours beforehand.
I don't know what I should feel. Death hasn't been a big factor in my life, so this is the first true taste of it with someone relatively close to me. In fact, when we were younger, my cousin and I were extremely close. It's only within the last ten years or so that we've grown distant, more due to his apathy at maintaining a friendship than anything else.
That's weird in itself and I've been in a little daze all day.
What has compounded the weirdness a little was that I got a text message last night with a time stamp that pretty much matches the time that my aunt died from GFW, a co-worker I'm very friendly with, announcing the arrival of his first child, a baby girl.
Weird.
I don't know what I should feel. Death hasn't been a big factor in my life, so this is the first true taste of it with someone relatively close to me. In fact, when we were younger, my cousin and I were extremely close. It's only within the last ten years or so that we've grown distant, more due to his apathy at maintaining a friendship than anything else.
That's weird in itself and I've been in a little daze all day.
What has compounded the weirdness a little was that I got a text message last night with a time stamp that pretty much matches the time that my aunt died from GFW, a co-worker I'm very friendly with, announcing the arrival of his first child, a baby girl.
Weird.
Good times.
I was out with D and the boys last night. As usual, it was a good night, though I wasn't 100% in the mood for a lot of beer. The problem with this group is that it can be very aggressive in the piss taking stakes, when FBS isn't about (and she had to cancel at the last minute due to family illness). Still, while I was outside having a smoke with D, we ended up chatting to a few girls and making a rather good impression on them. This was very late in the evening, so I didn't have time to see if anything was going to happen. One of our crowd was very sceptical when we told him that we'd been talking to real, live girls and was pouring plenty of scorn on us, until...
Then, on the way to get a taxi, I was stopped by this stunning blonde and asked for a cigarette and a light as the others stared and gawped. Good times.
Then, on the way to get a taxi, I was stopped by this stunning blonde and asked for a cigarette and a light as the others stared and gawped. Good times.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Women and dating... hints and tips (that's a laugh).
Having been semi-active on a couple of sites/tools over the past few weeks in an attempt to increase my social life, it's clear to me that women don't know how to sell themselves to men.
OK, so I'm not great at selling myself to women, but at least I realise that and A kindly did my advertising for me (at least initially... I've added more to it since then). I also have plenty of female friends and I do listen to them... stuff does rub off, so I'd like to think I have an inkling of what to say. (That doesn't stop me from being useless at proper conversation, though).
So, ladies, this is for you. Take a look at your profile...
First of all, think about your target audience.
Yup... you're selling yourself to men. Not literally, of course, but you want to be interesting enough to men that they message you. This is especially true if you have a profile without a picture. Often, a picture will over-ride your profile as men (myself included) will overlook any potential flaws if there's a spark of physical attraction.
If you have a picture, put it up!
It's self explanatory, isn't it? Well, make it a nice one and, to pre-empt a later point, you don't need to be doing anything zany in it. Just a nice, normal photo of you looking good.
You say precious little in your profile.
Say more! How are people meant to be interested enough in you to message you if you only say "I'm useless at talking about myself". If you have trouble, get someone to help you, preferably a male. In fact, this is the best move you can make. We can tell others how we think we are, but it's others who see us for what we are.
You describe yourself as mad, wacky, zany or any other similar adjective.
Do not do this. Plenty of men are already convinced the entire female population is bonkers, myself included (after the recent RB debacle). We don't need reminding that any potential friend or date is mentally unhinged.
Do not include the fact that you like going to nightclubs to dance the night away.
OK, this is a personal one. I don't like dancing. I don't do it very often and even then, I have to be fairly inebriated. FA2 told me she knew I was good in bed by my moves on the dance floor. I've no idea if she was telling the truth, but if so, then it's no surprise that RB ran away because the night I danced with her, I was all left feet. So, if you list it as a hobby, I'll be concerned, but it won't be a deal breaker. If you actually specify in your profile that you just want to dance and dance and dance and dance, then I'm afraid it's unlikely I'll be in contact.
Txt spk.
Do not use this. I want an intelligent, articulate woman that I can talk to, not some vacuous bint.
Last read: Heat magazine.
If I see this mentioned, then you're also off the list. I don't mind people who are light-hearted and have fun, but there are limits to what is acceptable.
OK, so I'm not great at selling myself to women, but at least I realise that and A kindly did my advertising for me (at least initially... I've added more to it since then). I also have plenty of female friends and I do listen to them... stuff does rub off, so I'd like to think I have an inkling of what to say. (That doesn't stop me from being useless at proper conversation, though).
So, ladies, this is for you. Take a look at your profile...
First of all, think about your target audience.
Yup... you're selling yourself to men. Not literally, of course, but you want to be interesting enough to men that they message you. This is especially true if you have a profile without a picture. Often, a picture will over-ride your profile as men (myself included) will overlook any potential flaws if there's a spark of physical attraction.
If you have a picture, put it up!
It's self explanatory, isn't it? Well, make it a nice one and, to pre-empt a later point, you don't need to be doing anything zany in it. Just a nice, normal photo of you looking good.
You say precious little in your profile.
Say more! How are people meant to be interested enough in you to message you if you only say "I'm useless at talking about myself". If you have trouble, get someone to help you, preferably a male. In fact, this is the best move you can make. We can tell others how we think we are, but it's others who see us for what we are.
You describe yourself as mad, wacky, zany or any other similar adjective.
Do not do this. Plenty of men are already convinced the entire female population is bonkers, myself included (after the recent RB debacle). We don't need reminding that any potential friend or date is mentally unhinged.
Do not include the fact that you like going to nightclubs to dance the night away.
OK, this is a personal one. I don't like dancing. I don't do it very often and even then, I have to be fairly inebriated. FA2 told me she knew I was good in bed by my moves on the dance floor. I've no idea if she was telling the truth, but if so, then it's no surprise that RB ran away because the night I danced with her, I was all left feet. So, if you list it as a hobby, I'll be concerned, but it won't be a deal breaker. If you actually specify in your profile that you just want to dance and dance and dance and dance, then I'm afraid it's unlikely I'll be in contact.
Txt spk.
Do not use this. I want an intelligent, articulate woman that I can talk to, not some vacuous bint.
Last read: Heat magazine.
If I see this mentioned, then you're also off the list. I don't mind people who are light-hearted and have fun, but there are limits to what is acceptable.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Yet more dreams... with a twist.
Another night, another frustrating but enjoyable dream. This time, I was out with friends from work when I bump in to RB at a pub. We get talking, I ditch my friends and head back to hers where we end up shagging all night long.
It was a weird dream for a few reasons. Firstly, I am actually going out with guys from work this weekend on a leaving bash, so it was based on something that could/will happen. Secondly, I saw RB in town today, but apart from a brief flicker of... nervousness, there wasn't a lot to say. Once again, she didn't see me, so there was no conversation. Every time I see her in town, she always looks so serious... she looks loads better when she smiles.
Why nervousness? I guess it's because any conversation we would have would always have her silence, her issues and our mutual keenness to overcome (whether that's still there on both out parts remains to be seen). It'd definitely be easier with alcohol!
I'd still love to get her in to bed, though.
It was a weird dream for a few reasons. Firstly, I am actually going out with guys from work this weekend on a leaving bash, so it was based on something that could/will happen. Secondly, I saw RB in town today, but apart from a brief flicker of... nervousness, there wasn't a lot to say. Once again, she didn't see me, so there was no conversation. Every time I see her in town, she always looks so serious... she looks loads better when she smiles.
Why nervousness? I guess it's because any conversation we would have would always have her silence, her issues and our mutual keenness to overcome (whether that's still there on both out parts remains to be seen). It'd definitely be easier with alcohol!
I'd still love to get her in to bed, though.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Goals... an update.
OK, so the dating thing has kinda been in operation for a couple of weeks. As blogged before, I have three avenues to explore: a Facebook related application, a free dating site and match.com. Match.com is the one I've yet to focus on, being that it costs money, but A has written me a very good piece of descriptive text that should help a lot if/when I actually subscribe. Over the course of the past few weeks, my match.com profile has had a grand total of three views (though I don't have any pictures uploaded). I've no idea who has looked at my profile on the Facebook application as it's all rather vague and fifteen people have viewed my profile on the free site.
How has that translated to actual contact though?
Good question. Two girls have initiated contact through the Facebook application, but neither of them is sparking any interest and none of them are appearing on my list of potential contacts. Looks are important at least to generate interest... had I not thought RB was cute, I wouldn't have struck up a conversation, for example, so any potential contact has to be physically appealing to me. On the free site, I've had a message off one girl, but it's the same story as the Facebook application.
In terms of my own contact, on the Faceook application, I've "poked" six girls (as I had no witty comments to make) and actually 'spoken' to another, all without reply. I replied to one of the girls that "poked" me, only to be polite, but that's gone quiet too (though nothing was ever going to happen there).
With regards to the free site, there are fourteen potential contacts though really it's about eleven realistically as a few are outside my preferred geographical zone. I've tried to make contact with two of them, but with no reply after a week or so. Only one girl from my potential list has viewed my profile, and I've attempted contact.
Finally, there's match.com. I have a list of fourteen potentials, but without a subscription, I can't get in contact. I am thawing with regards paying for a dating site though and can see me coughing up the cash pretty soon if other avenues don't work out.
I'd not say that match.com has a "better" standard of female... certainly, if the pictures are to be believed, there are some corkers on all three "sites", but having read some third party comments, match.com has, well, I suppose the polite way to put it is more mentally stable females. match.com has potential pitfalls though. The social stigma with internet dating is getting less and less by the day and that's not really a concern of mine, but even with my own narrow search criteria, I've seen a co-worker (well, a girl that works for the same company as I do) and my friend's ex-wife's friend, and that's just from those who have put up a picture. Imagine turning up for a date with someone you know!
I think if my other goal of finding rented accommodation/house share actually comes to fruition soon that I might step up my efforts at the dating lark... it kinds just feels like a fact finding mission right now. I'm poking about but with no real interest.
How has that translated to actual contact though?
Good question. Two girls have initiated contact through the Facebook application, but neither of them is sparking any interest and none of them are appearing on my list of potential contacts. Looks are important at least to generate interest... had I not thought RB was cute, I wouldn't have struck up a conversation, for example, so any potential contact has to be physically appealing to me. On the free site, I've had a message off one girl, but it's the same story as the Facebook application.
In terms of my own contact, on the Faceook application, I've "poked" six girls (as I had no witty comments to make) and actually 'spoken' to another, all without reply. I replied to one of the girls that "poked" me, only to be polite, but that's gone quiet too (though nothing was ever going to happen there).
With regards to the free site, there are fourteen potential contacts though really it's about eleven realistically as a few are outside my preferred geographical zone. I've tried to make contact with two of them, but with no reply after a week or so. Only one girl from my potential list has viewed my profile, and I've attempted contact.
Finally, there's match.com. I have a list of fourteen potentials, but without a subscription, I can't get in contact. I am thawing with regards paying for a dating site though and can see me coughing up the cash pretty soon if other avenues don't work out.
I'd not say that match.com has a "better" standard of female... certainly, if the pictures are to be believed, there are some corkers on all three "sites", but having read some third party comments, match.com has, well, I suppose the polite way to put it is more mentally stable females. match.com has potential pitfalls though. The social stigma with internet dating is getting less and less by the day and that's not really a concern of mine, but even with my own narrow search criteria, I've seen a co-worker (well, a girl that works for the same company as I do) and my friend's ex-wife's friend, and that's just from those who have put up a picture. Imagine turning up for a date with someone you know!
I think if my other goal of finding rented accommodation/house share actually comes to fruition soon that I might step up my efforts at the dating lark... it kinds just feels like a fact finding mission right now. I'm poking about but with no real interest.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
More dreams... with a twist.
I've had the horn something bad this week. Christ knows why, but I kinda get weeks like this every now and again, especially during "dry" spells, so given the recent frustrations with RB, it's perhaps unsurprising that a period of horniness was always going to appear.
I've had two dreams this week where sex has featured quite heavily and ordinarily, they're probably not worth blogging about in themselves, but rather the subject of the dreams are. The first dream, earlier this week, featured V and myself doing the horizontal foxtrot from the time we met each other a few years ago now.
The most recent dream, last night, featured RB in her house.
Why I think these dreams are worth blogging about is that, with both these girls, when I think about them, sex is not the first thing that comes to mind. It is for other girls I know like QC3, CAB etc. V, as I think I've blogged about before, was an attractive, sexy girl that I got along with and, time permitting, could have been close friends (and maybe something might have developed). There was an element of attraction there, but I never made a move to get into her pants. I simply couldn't figure her out.
With RB, it's similar, although I very definitely was attracted to her in a physical way. I have to say that sex wasn't at the forefront of my mind when I was thinking about RB, although she has had her hands down my pants and I've had my hands inside her underwear. With RB, sex was something I knew would happen, given time and even though she was very hands-y, there was no need to rush things (though I assumed we'd screw sooner rather than later). As a result, I am quite surprised that she figured in my dreams in that way this week (though it was not any less enjoyable for it).
I've had two dreams this week where sex has featured quite heavily and ordinarily, they're probably not worth blogging about in themselves, but rather the subject of the dreams are. The first dream, earlier this week, featured V and myself doing the horizontal foxtrot from the time we met each other a few years ago now.
The most recent dream, last night, featured RB in her house.
Why I think these dreams are worth blogging about is that, with both these girls, when I think about them, sex is not the first thing that comes to mind. It is for other girls I know like QC3, CAB etc. V, as I think I've blogged about before, was an attractive, sexy girl that I got along with and, time permitting, could have been close friends (and maybe something might have developed). There was an element of attraction there, but I never made a move to get into her pants. I simply couldn't figure her out.
With RB, it's similar, although I very definitely was attracted to her in a physical way. I have to say that sex wasn't at the forefront of my mind when I was thinking about RB, although she has had her hands down my pants and I've had my hands inside her underwear. With RB, sex was something I knew would happen, given time and even though she was very hands-y, there was no need to rush things (though I assumed we'd screw sooner rather than later). As a result, I am quite surprised that she figured in my dreams in that way this week (though it was not any less enjoyable for it).
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