Ambiguity.

Facebook memories reminded me today that it's seven years since E's friend, R3, got married. At one point, I think E was trying to set me up with R3 (she's not my type), but at roughly the same time, I think R3 was trying to set me up with E. I know E eventually admitted to her part. I can't actually remember if R3 ever admitted to attempted matchmaking (though she did admit that E's friends wanted something to start between us).

I've kicked around the idea that my feelings towards E were not entirely platonic. I remain unconvinced one way or the other. On some days I admitted that I may have categorised my feelings towards the romantic, on other days, she is simply a friend that I was extremely fond of.

The ambiguity is long gone - she's very much a friend, albeit one that I don't talk to as often was I should.

However, E's friend invited me to her wedding. We weren't really that close nor would I consider us as "friends". I think that R3 wanted something from me that day - a date/company for E, or maybe a last-ditch attempt to get us together?

I didn't go to the wedding. E was R3's bridesmaid so she would have been busy doing bridesmaid-y things and I would have been stuck in a room of 100 people that I didn't know. The stress and anxiety would have killed me. Plus, if I remember correctly, E had already been dating her partner, so that angle was off the cards had I considered it.

Still... I haven't spoken to E for ages. I need to set up a video chat ASAP.