Conundrum.

In a fit of, well, optimism probably, I sent another few messages today to women that looked interesting. Unsurprisingly, out of the three I sent earlier, two of them have been read and deleted already without reply. There are two others outstanding, one from over a week ago (and to be honest, this is the one that I'd really like to see progress on). Again, I'm somewhat confused because at least one of the profiles was pretty bare with little to go on and the line "I will enjoy hearing all you have to say. I will tell you anything you want to know.. just ask me", implies that she might actually at least take the time to reply.

The online dating thing is now officially beyond me now. I honestly have better luck trying the more random method of meeting people in bars etc. I wasn't expecting online dating to be necessarily easier at meeting someone with potential of being more than a fleeting acquaintance.

Online, where things are meant to be more targeted with everyone looking to meet new people, I have gotten one date, Date No. 1 and a couple of stop/start conversations that have yielded nothing. That's from approaching over sixty women. In bars, I have considerable more success approaching far less women. Go figure that one out.

Is no news good news?

Finally managed to nail FP down to a few pints and a chat. It's good to catch up and it was a reasonably quiet night in terms of pints taken. I think we're going to have to find a new watering hole though as our usual haunt has gone downhill recently by turning itself into a disco and attracting a somewhat older crowd.

In other news, QC2 is still quiet. Our semi-planned night out is still just a verbal agreement to catch up at some point.

Reminiscing

A few years ago, while out with K (amongst others) and before I knew she was interested in me in a non-platonic way, she was rifling through my wallet. There's not a lot of personal stuff in my wallet usually, just the usual cash, credit cards etc. except in this case, there was a credit card-sized name plate type thing that I'd picked up at my sister's wedding and was just the right fit for my wallet.

K commented that she didn't think I was the sentimental type.

I hadn't considered myself to be, but there you go.

Today, while sorting out lots of paperwork (and recycling old stuff that I didn't need), I came across a stash of stuff from down the years. Some of it is probably worth holding on to, some not, but it was interesting to see, for example, that I still have an old (joke) Valentine's card from QC1 from years ago, letters from R2 when she was living in America, a letter from a (female) friend of mine in New Zealand, old leaving cards from previous jobs etc. I probably will never throw these out. Interestingly, I've kept nothing at all from FA2, a woman I dated for over two years (well, in terms of mail that I might be emotionally invested in). However, that's mostly to do with the fact she didn't give me anything that held sentimental value to hold on to. I do still have an old box of Lego that she gave me as a birthday present one time. She might be a complete bitch, but Lego is Lego!

FFS

Last week, FP suggested that we head out to the pub this weekend. He suggested Saturday over Friday and we left it at that. We swapped a few texts messages yesterday, but no substantial conversation. I fired off a quick text this morning, just to confirm that plans were still going ahead tonight. It appears not. It's not that I don't understand the reasons behind the change of plans... I do, but I am annoyed that, once again, it's up to me to find out by forcing the subject, rather than FP taking the initiaitive and letting me know.

At least at this point, I can still try and arrange an alternative drinking partner if I choose to do so... and at this point I kinda do. I might see what M is up to tonight.

The arrogance of women who do online dating

Well, I finally scraped together a message for a girl on Plenty of Fish. She seems quite nice (according to her photos), but her profile is really, really bare. She likes watching films and eating out. Well, thanks for that detailed insight to your life, love. I scraped together a message: upbeat, inquisitive and suggesting that her profile is a bit lacking and thus hard to gauge who she is. I attached a few photos of myself (it's only fair, isn't it) and send the message.

A few hours later?

Message read and deleted.

This is what gets me. My profile is a good overview of who I am. It's a good few hundred words long, but no overly long. There's plenty there for people to get an idea of who I am, but not enough that I tell everything. And yet there are women out there that can barely stick together three or four sentences that give away nothing. I guess that's been my overall experience with women on dating sites. They just seem so arrogant. All the advice given on websites about internet dating (especially the first contact email with a woman) implies that every single email should be a work of genius and the funniest thing committed to keyboard. it doesn't say what you are to do when the woman's profile says fuck all. Do they really get so much mail that they can't reply?

Or, an excerpt from this article:

When it comes to women, they love knowing that you took the time to learn more about them. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to ask her questions about herself that have already been answered on her profile. What do you think this tells her? It shows her that you based your decision solely on looks and couldn't be bothered with actually reading her profile.

You can learn so much about a woman from her profile. Learning about her hobbies or interests can help you determine if you will even be compatible. You can really impress her by quoting from her favorite book, or even commenting on her skills in a sport or hobby. This will take you a step further into her world. A woman loves a man who pays attention!

What? How can I take the time to learn more about them when they say nothing in their profiles? It's not just this one girl... a lack of decent information is a common trait shared by many women over plenty of sites. Offhand, over six months and four online dating sites, I can think of four profiles that really enticed me into messaging them. FOUR.

It's this online dating etiquette that pisses me off. I've complained about it to A and DSC (both of whom have had no issues getting plenty of dates using Plenty of Fish or My Single Friend), but they have no answers. I have to still make the first move (really, women don't make first contact...) then poring over their (limited) profiles to try and cobble together an interesting email that will entice them to reply, and all they can do is read, maybe delete and not even drop me a refusal. Some of these women are on Plenty of Fish all day long and have been for months. It's not like they're never online.

Oh, What I really need right now is a beer and a ciggie.

No inspiration

I've been sitting at my PC now for about half an hour, with a sandwich and a Coke beside me. I'm logged on to Plenty of Fish as I had decided that I was going to give the site one last chance this weekend before giving up on online dating for good. I think I previously mentioned that there's a list of around thirty women that are attractive and look reasonably interesting, but I simply have no inspiration about writing an opening gambit that will hopefully provoke further contact (and maybe more).

While I wouldn't say that each of my previous attempts has been a work of art, I can confidently say that they've all been tailored to the person I'm sending them to - not cut and paste jobs from me thank you very much.

I was hoping to talk to DSC about my profile (and my attempts at contacting women) but she hasn't been on MSN at all this week and before I could get chatting about it on Wednesday, we were joined my my 'friends' which kinda scuppered that avenue of conversation.

An unexpected night out

It was a last minute thing, but I saw DSC on MSN and asked her to come out to the pub. It was simple, really. I was bored, I fancied getting out of the house and I knew she was thinking the same. I also enquired about whether she was bringing out her cute friend, but that was a negative. It kinda suited me as I was planning on maybe testing out the waters about whether DSC's cute friend and I might hook up, but that was quickly scuppered when I found out that the cute friend was entertaining a young man. And entertain she did, if the stories today were anything to go by.

Anyway, what was originally meant to be a couple of quiet drinks for a couple of hours turned into a bit of a session as a few acquaintances of mine showed up and joined us. It was funny because I would have assumed that a bloke and girl on their own in the pub on a Wednesday night would have been on a date, but my 'friends' just sat down and engaged in conversation. It ended up being a good night though, although not one that was planned. Isn't that always the way though?

A wake up call

I've got a wedding to go to later in the year and, well, I'm embarrassed to say that I'm struggling to get into my suit. I signed up to FitDay today to aid me in my diet and exercise schedule that I'm hoping will help. I keep starting these things then something crops up to cause it to stutter.

The thing is, I've got a slim build, but I'm way overweight. I'm only guessing, but FitDay required some information and based on my height and weight, has now told me that I'm obese. Obese, for Christ's sake. If that's not an incentive to get up off my ass and pay more attention to my diet, I really don't know what it.

Hopefully now I have proper recording tools at my disposal, I should make some headway and keep on the programme and actually see some results. Couple that with an alcohol embargo (I've really been hitting it hard this year) and I'm hoping that I should be seeing some results fairly soon. Well, maybe not this week as I'm on holidays, but next week, when I go back to work (and by association, the gym).

And just one more thing...

I forgot to mention earlier that QC1 is still trying to set me up on a blind date with her friend's sister. I'm still not convinced by this as I know what she looks like (Facebook investigation ftw) and there's no spark of attraction. QC1's friend was also in the pub last night and I seemed to live up to all the promises that QC1 has made about me. I guess I shouldn't rule anything out given my discontent at my current relationship status, but I don't like blind dates. I'm nearly sure I've said this before, but I'll say to QC1 that I'll meet them on a night out but I really don't want to blind date. I guess I just don't like surprises.

Oh, woe is me.

Around this time of year, I nearly always get a little reflective. This year, it's been my single status that's causing the concern. I'd thought, well hoped, that I wouldn't be single at this point. I've done the online dating thing on three different sites since the start of the year with pretty much the same result - little or no communication. There was the one date with Date No. 1 which whet my appetite for more dates and I've had brief conversations with a few other women that eventually fizzled out and went nowhere. There were lots of us in the pub last night but there was a certain lack of eye candy. Well, available eye candy. QC1 was there with her own friends and I think she's very attractive, and one of my mate's girlfriends is also really cute, but as for the rest of the bar's clientèle, there was, I think, one girl that I found attractive.

DSC says I'm too picky, but I can't help who I find attractive, can I? There's a good post about it on this blog that I pretty much agree with. Without the physical attraction, I don't think any relationship has legs. My current list of potential dates on Plenty of Fish is around thirty. Not all of these are perfect matches. Some are a little on the young side for me, one has kids of her own, but they all have profile pictures and I find all of them attractive.

I'm still not convinced by the online dating thing. I've tried many different approaches and all of them have failed. Long opening emails, short ones, standard ones, tailored ones, I uploaded loads of photos, created couple of decent profiles and this has all gotten me the square root of bugger all. I've honestly had more luck chatting to strangers in the pub. I think I need a woman's perspective on this and I think I'll have a chat with DSC this week to see if I can turn this around. I do have one message that hasn't yet been read, and I'm hoping she does reply as she does have a good, interesting, fun profile.

All partied out... for now.

There were two big nights out this weekend. The first, a work thing, was good fun. However, it meant that I would miss a mate's girlfriend's birthday. In particular, there was a cute blonde thing that I thought might have been going to the birthday and I really wanted to meet her (assuming she's single). However, it was not meant to be and I stayed out with the work crowd until closing time. That's not a big thing though, because it was a fun night. I look forward to the Facebook pictures of the birthday though, to see if the blonde girl is there.

Saturday night was M's house-warming party. We've both done the online dating thing this year. He's divorcing his wife (or has already, I'm not entirely sure of the timing) and I think I've already mentioned that we've both dated (albeit separately) Date No. 1. Anyway, I was reliably informed that his house-warming would be chock full of single women, though not that this was a condition of my attendance. He's a good lad, M, and I would have gone anyway.

Sadly though, the single quotient at the party was very low. It was just me and an old friend of mine from school. I was taken by this stunningly attractive blonde girl who was easily the same height as me, but it soon became clear that she was M's girlfriend's sister and married. Damnit. However, as I said, a plethora of single women was not the reason for my attendance, and the party was great. It ended very late, I was quite drunk and spent all day yesterday recovering.

I have another busy weekend coming up. I just need time to recover!