Despite not going to D's Superbowl party, I did stay up to watch some of it. In fact, I watched all of the first half and the half time show with Bad Bunny.
I thought it was awful, from a musical standpoint, but was at least rewarded with the sight of Jessica Alba dancing.
I've always claimed that I'm not a boobs guy or an ass guy or a specific body part guy, and that's true. But I have to say that boobs have been on my mind a lot over the past few days. That picture of Anna Kendrick that I posted yesterday is really doing it for me. When considering my past, FBS and CAB have been on my mind a lot, too, and they were blessed in the chest department.
The internet dick crossed my mind briefly when I went to bed last night, but only briefly. I think my assumption yesterday that he'd already blocked me and so didn't see my last message where I'd called out his hypocrisy. (I am am little disappointed that the other moderator didn't reach out - I think we had decent rapport and worked well together.)
That, I think, translated into a very good night's sleep. I feel great this morning.
To cheer me up from yesterday's "drama" (which I think had a bigger effect than you might expect because the guy's attitude and behaviour reminds me of an old boss I had about 10 years ago), here are some attractive women.
I didn't sleep at all last night. That's the second time this week it's happened. However, while I've no idea why Tuesday night was sleepless, last night's was all about the internet dick.
My smart watch tells me I got 5.5 hours of sleep, but it really didn't feel like that. I got half of that if I was lucky. It also reported high heart rate (the anxiety) and high temperature.
Surprisingly, the internet dick never replied to my last message despite his history and personality needing to have the last word. Will he reply today (he's based in the USA so there are time differences to consider)? I don't know, but my plan is delete the message unread if I can. I've said my piece. Though I am now wondering if I was already blocked after he had the last word and my most recent message hasn't been delivered.
I was given a demotion earlier today. It's nothing serious, and nothing professional. I was a moderator on a large social media site for a specific topic and the so-called "lead moderator" removed for me lack of respect.
I'm not going to lie, I don't respect him. Ever known a person who gets a little inkling of power and lets it get to their head? Yeah, that was this guy. I thought I was hiding my contempt quite well, but looking back, clearly not. Anyhoo... he was lead moderator by the sake of a random algorithm or luck of the draw, not through any actual knowledge, merit or tenure.
But he used that title and the few additional powers that granted him, to decide debates etc. Disagree with him about the way forward? He'd do it anyway under the guise of being "lead moderator". Make a decision he didn't like? He'd reverse it because he was the "lead moderator".
One of those people who always needs to have the final word? Yeah.
He also hates feeling like he's been outdone. Which is why I think he's eventually cracked and removed me. You know the kind of person who replies to a message, ponders on it for ages, then replies again later in a longer, more ranty way? Yeah, he's one of those. So when he started questioning my actions in a very snidey, disingenuous way, he got his energy right back at him.
"You've done this thing that I've done loads, but I don't like your attitude, so I'm removing you"
But he didn't say that first. He removed me without ever addressing any concerns that he had that apparently go back months. Yup, it's been simmering for months.
The thing that I did was on Monday (I turned off a small feature in our community that barely anyone uses), but he's been stewing on this all week. You could sense it.
But for some reason, despite the fact I don't like the guy, despite the fact I was probably going to quit anyway and despite the fact it's only online rubbish, it's actually made me quite anxious. I don't do confrontation well, even something as inconsequential and impersonal as an internet argument.
I have replied to him, not to ask to be a moderator again but to point out his hypocrisy. I expect a reply, probably with some further accusations (his original one was that I am not a team player) and then be blocked... because he always has to have the last word.
The reality is, I think, he views me as a challenger to his position even though there's literally nothing I can do about it. I don't even want that position. It's like he took every disagreement personally as a direct challenge. You can't deal with people like that.
For the first time in ages, probably since before Covid, D was in contact about a Superbowl party at his house. Party is probably too strong a word for it - a gathering of a few people with lots of snacks and some beers.
Ordinarily, I'd be all over that, even if Opinionated Guy is going to be there. But I'm doing KfW2 a favour which means I need to be in the house at the weekend.
I dropped off to sleep quite quickly last evening, but woke after about an hour. It was after 5 AM when I finally dropped off to sleep. Originally, I was meant to be awake by 7:15 AM for an office day, but fuck that. I cancelled my alarm and dropped off to sleep for an extra hour.
It was after 9AM by the time I got into work - a full hour later than usual.
I had a massive headache due to lack of sleep, so I decided to cut my losses and leave at lunch. My boss had other plans, asking me for several chores. It actually helped - focusing on some problems distracted me from the slow passing of time and my headache.
But I'm glad I'm back home now. It should mean an earlier finish on Friday though.
KfW2 did call in today with her kids. I'm doing her a favour while she's off on holiday for half term, so she wanted to have a chat with me about some stuff. It was only a flying visit, but it was great to see her. I've not seen her since last September, I think.
She was halfway through explaining some stuff to me when she paused.
"Have you lost weight?"
She knows this. We chatted about it when I was at her place in September. I might have blogged about it at the time because I recall being pretty disappointed that I had to tell her rather than her notice by herself.
Regardless, it was great seeing her again, and there were hugs. I love hugs.
A surprise phone call from KfW2. I think she's going to call in over the weekend. I can't remember the last time I actually saw her, so I'm hoping that she finds the time (she's not 100% certain she can).
And I guess that means I have to go shopping tomorrow morning.
I was bemoaning my lack of socialising to a co-worker in the office yesterday. We had been talking about the monthly work event that's happening this evening.
So it was surprisingly, in a good way, when my brother-in-law sent a message this morning enquiring about heading out tomorrow night to see a band. I'd suggested it ages ago, but I'd completely forgotten about it.
I was initially torn. My football team is playing tomorrow evening and the match is being televised, so I had kinda already planned my Saturday night. But as I said, I've been complaining about a lack of socialising, so I agreed to go.
I'm not often rendered speechless by the women I see on Tinder. There are some gorgeous women there, but pictures alone rarely do things for me. I like to see women move, smile, interact with others. That makes a LOT of difference.
I struggle to recall the last woman that I genuinely wanted to match and meet. Pre-Covid maybe?
Until tonight. Someone who looks like a combination of Jennifer Lawrence and Olivia Munn.
I mean, for all I know she's a horrible person, but based on looks alone... wowzer.
I thought I'd already posted about this before, but this young lady, Ellie Littlechild, keeps popping up in videos that are suggested to me in my YouTube feed. Not a cause for comment or even posting, but she gives me massive K vibes. It's in that vague, squint and they kinda look alike way and they have a similar figure. Plus, there's also the fact she presents film-related videos, and K was a massive film nerd. She possibly still is.
Off the back of the memory that I blogged about a few days ago about a past tryst, I found myself looking at the photos I took of my second trip to New Zealand, back in 2008. E lived there at the time, and she was the primary reason for going back out. I deliberately didn't contact FA2 when I went out. E still lives there, actually, and I'm always tempted to go back out. But part of me wants to try somewhere new. I'm still tempted by New York, but there are obvious reasons I don't really want to go there at this moment in time.
KfW2 just messaged. We're good for next week. Next week? Yesterday, we were aiming for the end of next month. I'm not complaining per se, but this is the type of dizziness that KfW2 shows when arranging things. I am free next weekend, so it's not like the date's inconvenient to me. I have messaged back, making sure she's got her dates right. I bet she hasn't.
This morning, I thought of a woman that I'd not thought of in years. We had this brief thing when I was travelling about 20 years ago. She was a barmaid at a local bar I frequented, a few years younger than me. I went in one weeknight because I wanted some company and knew no-one else.
I'd spoken to her before, of course. But never a one-to-one conversation. There were always people about.
I got chatting to some of the people in the bar and that was that. They all drifted off until it was just me and her. She closed the bar and we sat on for another few drinks. The conversation flowed, so she suggested we went back to hers for more drinks, and I accepted. At that stage, I had no inkling anything was on the cards. She was cute, but I was enjoying the conversation.
There was something intimate about sitting in an empty bar, the doors locked, only a few lights on and chatting. We weren't sharing anything massively private or anything. If memory serves, it was just your basic "what are you going to do with your life" kinda stuff. But we kept our voices low nonetheless, as if people were listening.
And I'm a sucker for that kind of conversation. That's why I like the nights in the bar with KfW2. It's why I miss my email "conversations" with USHW.
Anyway, we went back to hers and I eventually spent the night. There was a repeat performance a few months later just before I left to come home, and that was it. I tried to find her on Facebook years ago, but could never find her. Partly because I couldn't remember her surname for ages.
And she popped into my head this morning as I was brushing my teeth.
I wouldn't say that I have a sweet tooth, but I do take cravings every now and again. I don't particularly like chocolate, but I love chocolate flavoured things: ice cream, muffins, desserts etc.
Today is one of those days. I have successfully fought off the urge to get something sweet - thankfully I was feeling lazy today and the weather is awful, so I'll admit it wasn't only willpower that got me through.
I'm regretting it now though.
KfW2's just off the phone, sharing some good news. We chatted briefly, she's running around after her kids at the moment, and on top of that, she sounded rough. Like really ill. There's a 'flu type thing going round at the moment that's hard to shake. Most people I know are taking at least ten days to get over the main symptoms and much longer to shake a persistent cough.
But I think we've nailed down a date to meet. Or rather, for me to go to hers that weekend, with OP. We've pencilled in a weekend at the end of next month - four weeks from now.
You could argue that I'm too old for masters of the Universe. I'm definitely too old to be interested in a film about He-Man, and I barely remember the cartoon from the 80s.
However, this film stars blog favourites Alison Brie and Morena Baccarin.
Yeah, I'll probably watch this one.
Neither Quiet Girl nor Stalky Guy are going to this month's work event. I'm disappointed. It's not just Quiet Girl's non-attendance, but in general. My lack of social life over Xmas has continued into January, so I was hoping to get out to the pub, have a few drinks and do some people watching.
I've reached out to a few other people, but I am not holding my breath.
As expected, our monthly work night out has just been announced for the end of next week. I've already posted in our shared chat in work that has Quiet Girl and Stalky Guy in it. No replies as yet, but fingers crossed. It'd be good to get out and socialise and do some people watching. I've barely left the house this month.
It was extremely difficult to get out of bed this morning for work. I don't know why, there was nothing obvious on my mind this morning. Still I did manage it eventually, and things got back on track once I had a couple of large, strong coffees.
Was it because it was Blue Monday?
(I think the concept of Blue Monday is rubbish FWIW)
Facebook reminds me that it's my 18 year Facebook friendship anniversary with E3. I've not seen her in years. The photo that Facebook used was M's wedding, a day where I made tentative efforts to see if anything might happen with both MMBF and SBF. E3's attention didn't come until a few years later. Or at least, wasn't made public.
I wanted to make an effort to get back into yoga this week, but my motivation levels are near zero. We've been busy in work, so I am not getting the chance to do it during my lunchtime, which is when I've done it before. When it comes to logging off in the evening, I'm mentally exhausted, which is sucking my motivation.
The upside of being super busy is that the days are flying by. Well, two of 'em this week.
I slept really well last night. Weirdly, I woke this morning thinking about CAB. I don't know if there was a dream involved or not - I don't recall a dream. But the memory involved me talking to CAB. This would have been after I broke things off with her.
I was at a bar. The bar where I met R2. Actually, the same bar where I met CAB. I spent a lot of time there in my early 20s with AM, QC1 etc. Anyway, at the end of the evening as we were leaving to get a taxi home, I bumped into CAB. She started talking so I waved the others on. She wanted to get back together.
I can't remember the details of the conversation. I can't remember her argument for getting back together nor can I recall if I vocalised my reasons for not getting back together. My reasons for not getting back together were the same as my reasons for breaking up: she was due to move away to go to university, I wasn't interested in/considering long-distance, so I didn't see the point in continuing to date.
And I know that I definitely didn't share my ongoing frustrations about us not having sex. It was part of the reason I called things off, but not the main reason, which I explained above. I doubt it would have been a surprise to her, though.
But, yeah, that was the memory I woke to this morning.
It hasn't been announced as yet, but I am assuming there's going to be a work thing at the end of the month. If that's the case, I'll be trying to get people to attend. Quiet Girl, of course will be top of my list, but there are a few other people who are fun, and if not, then Stalky Guy.
That's something I'm going to try to do this year: more socialising - build upon what I did last year by going to more concerts, which I think was reasonably successful.
Brie Larson has popped up a lot recently when I have been browsing the internet, mostly on Instagram or Reddit. And her current look is giving me serious FBS vibes. It's the way she's styled and coloured her hair. She had it cut very short last summer for some theatre she was doing in England and she's growing it out.
It's still short, but not buzzcut short, which is how FBS wore her hair for a long time. And she had it the same colour too.
My sleep this week has been awful. Is it a change in the weather? That sometimes plays havoc with my sleep patterns. Is it being back at work after 2 weeks off? That doesn't help either. Nor does having to get up at 7 AM for a rare day in the office, like yesterday.
Anyway, there were several dreams last night in between bouts of being awake. K feature in a dream, as did BW, though I have no recollection of the actual dream content, just that they featured. BR might have featured too.
So, with three nights of poor sleep behind me, I am really struggling this afternoon. Roll on the weekend.
Out of the blue, I got a call from KfW2 an hour ago. Well, I say "out of the blue" but I have been hoping for/expecting a call for over a week now. But "out of the blue" in that it was during the middle of the day.
We chatted for about half an hour. KfW2 picked up on the fact that I wasn't really social over the holidays and promised that we would see more of each other this year, even if it was just for coffee. I've mentioned before that I'd much prefer dinner and drinks but in the interests of seeing her more regularly, a regular coffee sounds great.
She also said that she was going to ask me to go to her place last weekend, but that all got sidelined when her daughter had an accident. They want me to go down, with OP too. It's been a while since the old "come down because OP will be here too" card has been played.
She's made that promise before, but she's useless at planning anything beyond the next hour. Let's see how this pans out.
Only two days back at work and I'm already overloading on the "meh". Surprisingly, I didn't have that regret that I'd anticipated with not really having used my time off over the holidays to its full effect, but I still feel a little down. January blues, I guess.
And Blue Monday isn't for another few weeks.
KfW2 finally got back to me... sorta. I got a 30 second voice note on WhatsApp after I followed up with her about her daughter, who fell over and needed to go to hospital on New Year's Day.
"I've been meaning to call you all week!" was her opening line and then an update on her youngest daughter.
And nothing since.
Sigh.
AM posted on my New Year's post on Facebook. Unsurprisingly, it's the same old "we really must meet up soon". She won't, though, make any effort. I'm still waiting for the meet up she promised at FP's funeral, over two years ago.
A super attractive woman popped up on my online dating feed this morning. She was vaguely familiar. I think she might be a friend of QC1's. I'm pretty sure I've seen her before on someone's Facebook feed, and my gut says it's QC1.
She's also giving off Lucrezia Millarini vibes, and that's a very good thing.
Had a very pleasant few hours sitting with Nerdy Girl, drinking coffee and eating donuts this morning. And, I'm not gonna lie, my seat gave me an optimal view of the people walking past the coffee shop, many of whom were attractive ladies in leggings, despite the low temperatures.
We discussed our relative Christmas breaks (hers was busy, mine was not), she showed me some pictures of her friends (tall, blonde and attractive) and promised to introduce me to her girlfriend soon. They've been dating for around 18 months and I think she was only introduced to NG's family and friends this holiday season.
Very pleasant. And might just stave off the disappointment that I'll undoubtedly feel on Monday of having wasted my time off because I haven't seen the people I wanted to see (specifically KfW2).
Nerdy Girl reached out earlier to ask if I was free over the weekend, given her cancellation last weekend. I am free for a few hours tomorrow morning, so we're meeting for coffee.
I have plans in the afternoon to go see my brother-in-law, to chat about some of the house stuff I want to accomplish this year. He's kinda, sorta in the construction business, so he's always a good first port of call when it comes to that kind of stuff.
2026 is not off to a great start. I didn't sleep well last night, woken on several occasions by acid reflux. It's actually been a pattern this holiday, and it seems to be kicked off by alcohol. And it doesn't have to be a lot of booze, either.
The booze hit me quite quickly last night. Well, not quickly, but all at once.
I made a New Years post on Facebook around 11 PM and I was feeling OK, but I'd had a (small) bottle of Baileys and a couple of gins. By the time I came to write my blog post, with another gin in me, things were different. Typing was a problem. Heh.
Anyway... I went to bed shortly after posting and was more than a little tipsy at that stage, but I woke at least four times during the night with reflux. I had already taken an esomeprazole capsule, which is usually sufficient, but I needed additional help throughout the night.
I used to suffer quite badly from reflux, but it's been less of an issue over the past few years. But when it strikes, it goes in hard.
So, yeah, a lack of sleep.
Despite not going to D's Superbowl party, I did stay up to watch some of it. In fact, I watched all of the first half and the half time...
