Relax

I've complained this year about a manager who is responsible for me. Things are going to come to a head once he gives me my performance review score. But it's not just me. KfW2 confided in me today that her current project is having a massive effect on her stress levels and her home life.

As she was telling me this in a phone call while I was at the office, I didn't get a chance to question her further. Home life? I know the project is a mess, partly in thanks to our boss who, in my opinion, is poor at his job. But it's not like the project is going badly... it could just go a lot smoother, be more efficient, be showing more results, if people who were paid to make decisions actually made decisions.

I don't want to write off KfW2's concerns. I know that in the recent past that she's had to address some mental health issues, and I suspect that this is at the back of her mind.

But I think she's worried that someone might think she's not doing her job (she is), and that stress is causing more stress.

KfW2 does seem to let things that MIGHT happen bother her more than they should.

Weird.

All day yesterday and most of today, I was in a weird mood. Not bad weird, but good weird... or possible just weird weird.

I was in great form that had more than a sense of excitement about it. Like the anticipation of a good night out, going on a date, going to a gig etc. But I didn't have anything to be excited about.

Nor was I coasting off the back of anything exciting. A work night out turned out to be a very middling "OK". The night out with FC, GM etc. was successfully avoided (which isn't hard to do when Whatsapp chat doesn't start until 5PM). Only Mrs FC said anything - she messaged me separately later in the evening to ensure I was OK.

And general things were poor - a suggestion to the same Whatsapp group about a trip to the cinema yielding one reply - a negative one from Mrs FC. GM, S and SG couldn't even muster a "no thanks". A similar text message to M has yet to result in any kind of reply as well.

So the excitement/good mood was borne of nothing, but lasted all yesterday and most of today. I've nothing, socially speaking, on the horizon for at least a few weeks.

Hello!

I needed more caffeine. That's how this day is going so far. Off I trundled to my local coffee shop for my second coffee of the day (you do not want to know how many shots of espresso that equates to).

Who was ahead of me in the queue? Quiet Girl! She was with some work colleagues. And... she seemed to be quite chatty with her colleagues. My presumption that she was quiet stems from no eye contact or recognition despite our paths crossing a few times, but she has always seemed quiet and timid to me. Anyone who knows the people where I live and work will know that this is an anomaly - we only need the vaguest interaction to be on at least nodding terms.

But, once again, no eye contact, though as her attention was taken by her colleagues, that's less of a surprise this time round.

What was this, though? Was that a glance backwards towards me as she left the shop?

Seeing Quiet Girl, and "paying attention" to her reminded me of a recent chat I'd had regarding preferences in physical traits. I'm not specifically a fan of breasts, ass, legs etc. Despite my admiration, for example, of CH's ample rack, I'm not instantly attracted to a girl simply because there are big tits on show. I like a figure that is in proportion. QG is slim, but still has a figure.

Ouch, my feet. (part 2)

Well, I was wrong. Far from getting a good night's sleep last night, I woke several times and seemingly didn't sleep well at all. I can't figure out why though.

Suffice to say, today will be mostly powered by coffee. I don't think my home town has enough to keep me going, but let's see.

Ouch, my feet.

My feet are killing me. It's my own fault. Due to some bizarre idea by our charities committee, we were due to do a sponsored walk type thing today.

And, to be fair, we did it. But I'd forgotten all about it this morning and arrived in work in my usual footwear - a pair of Adidas Sambas.

But, not wanting to let anyone down, off I went at the appointed hour. It's not that it was meant to be far - roughly 3 miles - and I can usually do that in my sleep, regardless of footwear.

But nearly immediately upon my arrival back at the office, one of my co-workers wanted a chat and, as it was lunchtime, off we went for another walk, to ensure privacy away from office ears.

And that turned out to be another couple of miles. Again, no real surprised as I do that most lunchtimes with no issues.

However, doing both together for a rough total of 5.5 miles in the Sambas has not done my feet any favours.

It did mean burning roughly 700 calories though... and I'll probably sleep well tonight to boot. Pun not intended.

Something or other.

Years ago, M and I went out for a few pints. It turned into a massive session, which wasn't unusual back in the day, but it was the timing that was important. It was a weekend close to Hallowe'en. As such, plenty of people were out in fancy dress.

One such person was a barmaid in one of the bars we were in. My memory might be playing games on me, but I think this was around the time that I'd had or had arranged the date with Date No. 1. We were discussing the fact that M had been on a date with her. Actually thinking about it, it must have been post-date as we were discussing our experiences.

Regardless, we asked the barmaid for her opinion about something online dating related and M took a shine to the barmaid, dressed as an air hostess. She was brought up in conversation, years afterwards, especially around Hallowe'en.

It's that time of year again. Mrs FC is talking about going out, but I gave it a miss last year. Yes, I like seeing girls in "sexy" fancy dress costumes, but because I don't dress up myself, I kinda feel a little out of touch, even with the people I'm with. There are no details beyond a vague understanding of a social gathering.

It was 2 years ago that SG told me she liked me in a way that I took to mean (and am still convinced meant) more than friends. While she was dressed in a fantastic Wonder Woman costume. And I walked off because I was apocalyptic-ally drunk.

I have a work thing to go to on Friday. IG will be there... and drunk... and I know what some of my friends would advise me to do. I'll likely be drunk myself, but I won't misbehave, but that alone could put a night out on Saturday in jeopardy.

Even with a clear head and energy, I'm not sure that I will go out on Saturday though. I did send M a text suggesting we head out for a pint soon.

Silence!

It was only a matter of time. I've blocked SG on Facebook... well blocked her nonsense from appearing in my feed. The first friend I think I've had to do that to.

Talking.

"You're fucking kidding me, really?"

That was FP's response when I told him that GM and SG were together again as a couple. He followed that up with:

"It's not gonna last."

He could be right. People don't tend to change too much, and SG has some serious issues going on that she needs to address if her and GM stand a chance.

We segued into talking about another female friend of GM, drawing comparisons between her and SG. In almost all areas, FP preferred GM's friend by a large margin. That's almost exactly what KfW2 said when we were talking about recent events, not just GM's reconciliation with SG. And I would tend to agree with them as well... certainly with regards non-physical traits, GM's friend wins hands down.

And somehow, from that topic, we got onto the topic of FA2. I don't think that FA2 was particularly popular in my circle of friends. They felt that she was overbearing and sometimes trying to score points in conversations. I can't say that the latter is correct, but she definitely had a big personality and could come over strongly. I think QC1 was quite intimidated by her, though QC1 was timid.

We also talked about BW and his somewhat offbeat way of thinking and S being in love with his best female friend, who just happens to be gay. And that's just a fraction of the conversation that FP and I had last night.

While we were in the pub, sat at the bar, I caught the eye of a girl at the other end. She was brunette and pretty, but it seemed like she was on a date. Or at least, she was with a bloke. We continued to catch each other's eye all night. She seemed kinda familiar - I presume it's someone I've spotted on one of the dating sites or apps - it's not someone I've come across in real life. The eye contact thing was weird if she was on a date, but it didn't seem to be a date. It didn't have that vibe about it. Unless it was a first date... or a bad date.

Sob

I thought I was in good shape. My shoulder pain had all but gone, bar a little bit of pain first thing in the morning and I was starting to think about getting back into yoga and doing the Freeletics.

Until I spent the evening wrestling and generally carrying-on with KfW2's kids.

On Saturday morning, my shoulder was in agony. Painkillers, freeze spray and not moving my arm about just about nullified the pain.

This morning, I'm back to how I was on Friday - perhaps slightly more sore.

I'm toying with going to see my GP. There seems to be something more serious than a general tweak of the shoulder.

Plans

So, after some recent interaction with CH, where I once again put out the offer to meet for drinks (albeit very tentatively) which prompted the usual response from CH these days - bare acknowledgement and a generic agreement that has no substance.

And then last night, whilst visiting KfW2, I got a notification from WhatsApp. FC had started a group chat with the express intention of arranging a night out. The difference with this one being that some people who've kinda faded away from our social circle are specifically invited to a night out (date and venue tbc). Included in the chat are S, GM, FC and myself from our usual circle of friends. Of those who dropped away, familiar names are GB and CH. There are a couple of others and I added KfW2.

CH has been vocal about coming out, using a tone that suggests she might actually follow through as well. But she's also thrown a grenade into proceedings, suggesting a non-weekend night explaining that hangovers and her kids are not a good mix. She's not wrong. Hangovers and any kids are not a good mix.

Still, it'll be interesting to see if this gets off the ground. And if partners show up - I would imagine it would be difficult to keep SG away from this.

Little things.

A while ago, during a day out with KfW2, I ended up taking loads of photos of her kids playing in the playground. As part of that, I also had a couple of group shots of KfW2 with her kids. She was really pleased that I'd done that, because she claimed she didn't have an awful lot of photos of her and the kids.

I knew that, which is why I'd "set up" the photo opportunities.

I was looking through my photos from the past few years at the start of the week and I came across the pictures. KfW2 has been having a really hard time of it recently. I'd seen it in her body language. So I decided that I'd get her a little present. Nothing extravagant, but personal. So I set the ball in motion.

A few days later, KfW2 actually opened up to me and explained what was going on.

On Thursday, all the pieces for the gift came together and I packaged them up. It was good timing as KfW2 was meant to call into my house on the way home on Friday.

So I presented it to her, and she was surprised and really chuffed. Throughout the night, she kept making comments about how she loved it.

I'm still concerned about KfW2 - a little gift and a reminder that I'm there for her is not going to solve her issues - but I know she appreciates the gesture.