Introducing...

I didn't sleep particularly well last night - the heat was just too much and I was awake from 3:30AM, with brief dozes in between waking periods. However, I do remember a dream where I was hosting a BBQ at my house and all of my friends and family were invited. The reason? To introduce them to my new girlfriend: my sister's very cute friend from university. There was a lot of build up and everyone had arrived and was chilling, except for my new girlfriend. The dream ended as she arrived and I led her into the garden to meet everyone.

The frustration levels, this morning, were high. I'm lonely in general, but my sister's uni friend ticks loads of my (physical) boxes: tall, athletic, very cute.

Back in the saddle

I didn't do a check-in deliberately last week. I was on holiday and my schedule was all over the place. The numbers today are not bad: 232.4 lbs.

While that's a slight increase on the last check-in (0.2 lbs), there has been a fair bit of alcohol taken over the past few weeks due to the good weather, guests etc. so I'm not particularly disheartened with that.

Ups and downs.

Talk about highs and lows. Late afternoon yesterday, I had a couple of QC1-related memories. One was of a conversation we had a few days after I'd had my second date with CAB. It was very last minute - the eve of a trip abroad to visit AM and QC1. QC1 was being inquisitive and asking questions about where I saw it going, which was interesting as I'd only known CAB for about a week.

The second was a night where a bunch of work people were in the same bar as QC1 and her work friends. While my work friends were stood at the bar, I went over to talk to QC1 who is, I may have already explained, a very attractive woman. When I returned, they were asking me questions about her. When I claimed that she was "just a friend", they didn't believe me and we got talking to a few girls who were stood next to us. That's when I dropped my bombshell... I'd met someone new and I was still figuring out where it was going.

"Oh, I love that period of time!" exclaimed one of the girls.

We chatted on. The girl in question was RB, and this was a few weeks after we'd first met (which was only a few days and thirteen years ago, fact fans) but before the doomed first proper date. Obviously, it all fell apart in the end, but the two memories were of the same thing - that first few weeks when you meet someone and you're trying to figure out where it's going, the excitement of meeting someone new etc. It's a feeling I've not had in a long time.

And that, after the pleasant memory of FA2 yesterday morning, led to a somewhat melancholy evening, a feeling of, loneliness.

Back around.

For some reason, just after I got out of bed this morning, I was hit by a powerful memory of giving FA2 back massages. FA2 often asked for back massages. I have, I think, posted about my appreciation of backs. So, it will come as no surprise, that I loved giving back massages and rubs.

I don't know why the memory popped into my head this morning, but it was a pleasant thought nonetheless.

Showing off.

I had a poor night's sleep. It was late before I drifted off and early when I woke. There were dreams, but barring one aspect, I've no idea what the contents were. Saying that, the aspect I do remember is something.

I was receiving anonymous, sexy, naked pictures from someone. Body shots only. But it wasn't from a phone number I recognised. I eventually figured out who was sending the pics from the tattoos: FBS.

I woke up before the dream went anywhere though.

Ho hum.

My brother-in-law randomly appeared on my doorstep this afternoon. It was a visit I had anticipated for the past week. I assumed it was to help pick up the garden furniture that he'd promised would definitely arrive before the holiday weekend.

It wasn't the case.

It's definitely coming, but not by this weekend.

"Before the end of the month," he promised.

That's not ideal. This spell of good weather we're having is bound to end sooner rather than later and I'm concerned that the window for being able to put the furniture to good use is fading away. It would have been nice to get people round and be able to sit in my garden, having a drink, being social.

I can still do those things, but it would all be a bit more rough and ready than sitting a table with some nice chairs.

Hello!

I've been supremely bored over the past few weeks and have ended up revisiting and binging several TV shows, namely Agent Carter and Person of Interest.

A common factor has been the appearance of Bridget Regan. She very much has a Stacy Haiduk vibe going on. I've posted previously about how I'm a fan. The same can be said about Bridget Regan.

She also popped up in John Wick when I watched it a few weeks ago.

Sigh.

I'm expecting some garden furniture to arrive within the next few days. I don't know when exactly cos it's out of my hands: my brother-in-law is arranging it. The thing is, while I am expecting it, I don't know if it will arrive by Friday. That'll be disappointing. I could have had garden furniture delivered a few weeks ago but my brother-in-law told me that he could get a nicer set, for cheaper than the ones I'd been looking at.

I've seen the pictures. It is a nicer set. But we had this chat about four weeks ago and I've not had any indication from my brother-in-law about when it will arrive. He assured me it would be long before this weekend (it's a bank holiday where I live).

I have some time off booked in work, and I had hoped//planned to spend some of that time outdoors, having a beer and using my new firepit, possibly with the company of FP or KfW2.

Weighing on my mind.

Weight-in today: 232.2 lbs

So, a lot of what I put on a few weeks ago has dropped off - 1.8 lbs to be precise. I can only presume it's some kind of water retention, but at least, unlike last time, it didn't stay on.

I'm gonna try and get back into the yoga this week. Physically, I know I'm in terrible shape and that's both driving me towards the yoga, but also reluctant to start it as well. I feel like I'll break something if I do. 

The sound of silence.

Rather disappointingly, the messages to E didn't spark a conversation. She did reply, asked a few questions of her own, but my own reply to her has, as far as I can tell, gone unread. Still, disappointment aside, it does remind me of the trips I used to take to visit E around this time of year, partly to celebrate her birthday.

It would end up with us doing a pub crawl of wherever she was living, playing pool if we could, drinking and generally chatting.

And I always had a really good time. I think she did, too. I miss E. I miss travel. I miss pub crawls.

Memories

FBS has been on my mind a bit recently. Well, more in the "erotic dream" sense than particularly thinking about how she's doing.

Those dreams have prompted a memory: in the lead-up to FBS and myself having sex, there had been several weekends where I'd stayed over and slept in FBS's bed and nothing happened. I had wanted to sleep with her, but I had no idea how to even raise the subject. We'd made out a few times before or simply spooned on her sofa. There had been a couple of times where things had gotten beyond that - fondling her breasts through her clothes, but nothing more. During the "sleepovers", there was no snuggling or touching... we simply shared a bed and were usually nearly fully clothed.

However, one night, lying in bed I couldn't get to sleep. FBS's cats were mewling downstairs.

"What's up with them?" I asked.

"They're horny," FBS replied.

I sighed. I was too. Incredibly so.

"Yeah, me too," FBS said.

I turned to face her. I opened my mouth to speak but she spoke first.

"Yes, I want to fuck you." She slapped my chest. "I don't know that we should."

"OK." I rolled back onto my back. I wasn't going to push anything. I've never pushed for sex if the other party isn't 100% sure. Though the very fact that she'd said "fuck" in relation to sex was turning me on even more. I've definitely posted about this before.

FBS got out of bed and left the room. She returned a few minutes later, slipped into bed and started touching me.

We were kissing in seconds, naked in minutes and fucking a while after that.

It would be harsh to say that the friendship fell apart within the next two months as FBS wanted more than I could give, because we weren't really friends at that stage or I didn't view us as friends. I knew FBS through D, though we both worked in the same department. But without D, it would have been unlikely that our paths would have crossed and without the lust, we'd not have socialised together alone.