Mind fuck.

Bit of a mind fuck day today. Was having a discussion with A regarding online dating. This was brought on by the fact that I met a couple in the pub last night who had met through an online dating site: match.com to be precise. I've never considered the use of online dating sites for a number of reasons. The main one is that, most of the time, being single doesn't bother me, even with a lack of any casual action in between relationships. Obviously I do get a bit lonely from time to time and there are moments when having someone there to hug, to watch telly with, to cuddle (and yes, to fuck) would be most welcome. The female I was talking to was very cute, very intelligent and good fun. I wonder why she felt she had to join a site? On the plus side, it's good to know that females on dating sites aren't all desperate mingers!

Other things are seen to be much more acceptable. Speed dating, for example, is taking off in a big way here in the U.K. and it doesn't have the stigma attached to it that online dating does. I've no qualms about meeting people online - I've done it many times over the course of the past five years that I've been an internet regular with my online responsibilities. Some people have been friends and others have been more than that (for a day or so - no relationships). I'm not sure why this subject ended up occupying my thoughts for most ofd the day - I'm fairly happy at the moment, so it's not as if I'm on the lookout for female companionship. That's part of the confusion.

So, I was saying to A that there weren't too many people from our mutual internet venture that I'd consider dating and that actually going looking to these people for a romatntic relationship was something I'd never considered. That was a slight fib. There was one person that, if the geography had been right, I might have made a move for. Her name was M. I haven't seen or heard from M in nearly three years. I left the country about three years ago and we kept in touch vis MSN and email until she suddenly returned to her parent's house and lost internet contact. Her disappearance was so sudden that I didn't get a chance to get an address or anything off of her. Apart from the odd fleeting glimpse of M on MSN (where we swapped pictures and she looked gorgeous), that's been it. I've tried to leave her messages via our mutual venture, but they've gone unanswered.

Until today.

The first time in ages I think of her, and she makes an appearance. Luckily, rather than just swap stories and history, I was sensible and got her email address. Now, if she doesn't appear on the mutual venture anymore, I can still get in contact. Nothing's goping to happen romantically though. I know that now. The geography is still a huge negative factor and she's been seeing a bloke for about a year and they could be moving in together. It still brought about a pang of disappointment though.

I'm still not sure why this has fucked with my head apart from the co-incidence of thinking of M and her appearance. Maybe it's partly the lack of sleep from the weekend. Things might be a bit clearer later in the week after some proper sleep.

I'll let you know.