Grrr...

Adulting fucking sucks. I'm dealing with more family stuff - financial this time. And it always feels like there's more trouble than it worth. Like I can't just pick up a phone or send an email and get it sorted. There's paper work, applications... stuff that just rears its head for seemingly no reason.

And I think that's bleeding into some stuff that I want to do for me, to the house, and up until now I've been quite excited about getting the work done despite the fact it's going to decimate my savings, but now I'm suddenly anxious about it.

Sigh. 

Bah (cont'd)

Brother-in-law just messaged. He's literally waiting for the bus into town. I've just started cooking tea. Even if I were inclined to join them, I'm probably 2 hours from leaving the house. If he'd messaged an hour ago, I'd have cooked earlier or grabbed something in town.

Why is it so hard for people to communicate? 

Bah.

My brother-in-law sent a message at lunchtime. Did I want to go to the festival? I mentioned it in my last post. It's a music festival across the entire city centre. Facebook has been full of people having fun. But it's not really my thing. At least the music genre isn't really my thing.

I replied back and asked when they were thinking of going, I suggested that I'd probably go, but as it wasn't really my thing, I'd probably not hang around for long. I'd show my face, soak up some of the (supposedly excellent) atmosphere and then head back home once I'd had enough. And I reckon I'd probably not last 90 minutes, but it's the kind of thing that probably worth experiencing, right?

But that was hours ago. 

As I said, I'm not massively bothered about going, but still... I asked a direct question. Are they already there? When he said "later" did he mean this evening rather than the afternoon? I definitely got "afternoon" vibes from the message.

This is typical of my sister and brother-in-law. Communication is woeful. 

Chores.

I was going to cut the grass today - I've not touched it in about a month, and the weather forecast suggested it would be dry. but the weather forecast is wrong. It's been raining all morning, so that's scuppered that plan.

I also had a chore that I wanted to do in the city centre, but there's a massive festival going on, and it's going to be really crowded. I might wait until Monday morning, take some time off work and get it done then. It does need done though, so I can't hang about.

Urgh. FFS.

More poor quality sleep and a dream that felt more like a memory than anything else... purely because a lot of the dream did take place. It involved FBS and I having a slot of sex. And that was pretty much the dream.

In real life, we'd been to the pub, she'd asked me back to hers afterwards, we'd kissed on the sofa which escalated, she asked me to stay, I agreed, we went to bed, fucked, fell asleep and spent most of the next day in bed going through another couple of rounds. Late afternoon, I eventually left to go home, shower and change before heading out to the pub again. 

And that was pretty much the dream, except we were a lot more adventurous in the dream than we had been in real life.

Going back to the real life aspect of my memory/dream, we might have repeated the same feat that second evening, too. There was definitely a weekend where we did just have sex and go to the bar, but whether that's the night of this dream, I can't say. And because it was the middle of Winter - mid-January, I think - I don't think I saw daylight for nearly three days.

So not only am I still exhausted after nearly a week of rotten quality sleep, I'm now uncontrollably horny, too.  

Date for your Diary.

The poor quality sleep continues, as does the remembered dreams. This time, there's a festival in my hometown. I'm out with friends, enjoying the vibe and who sits beside us in the bar? Anna Kendrick. Obviously, I have a huge crush on her, so I'm chatting away, making small talk and it looks like she's actually enjoying herself and our company.

Then this faceless, unidentified, guy comes over and tries to butt into out conversation. I'm annoyed, but AK is trying to be nice, but this isn't working in getting the guy to leave.

And that's kinda the tone for the entire dream. I'm chatting with AK, we move from bar to bar, enjoying the festival, trying to get a feel for what she might say if I ask her on a date and the same, faceless guy keeps appearing to ruin the vibe we have, presumably by trying to get AK on a date. 

The dream ends when I wake up without any resolution. I don't have my date with AK, but neither does the random guy.

Wow.

As part of our work things, we often get in a private casino. We "gamble" using fake money, but it's usually good fun. I've posted before about one of the women who shows up to work at these events - our paths have crossed elsewhere. She's attractive and has a great smile.

Well, there's a piece in yesterday's LA Times about Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles fame, and stone me if the cover photo of the piece doesn't give off huge vibes of the casino girl. 

Dreamy

Two different dreams to report from last night. The first involved travel to Canada, but the details are now vague. I don't think it featured anyone I know or any celebrities nor can I remember any specific scene... just that it involved travel to rural Canada.

I woke up in the middle of the night, so that was it for that particular dream.

The second dream is again quite vague, but it featured some kind of underground community - think Zion in the Matrix films.  Like the first dream, I don't think it featured anyone specific, though some people might have been mashups of people I know. I'm pretty sure one unidentified person was a mashup of KfW2 and CB - I came out of it with a sense of familiarity rather than being able to identify specific people.

But two different dreams and more than a little weird. 

Talky.

KfW2 has been chatty today... at least via text message. That's weird for two reasons: firstly, she's been difficult to contact recently and getting a response from one text message is usually considered a bit of a result. Secondly, she's back at work today after over three weeks off. She gets super-focused when she's at work and doesn't usually reply to messages until after she's clocked off, but I must have gotten half a dozen messages today.

Wind down.

I only left the house to go to the cinema, so it's not like I can claim that I've done hours of chores, but that little thing alone has made me feel like I've accomplished something today.

And that's the last thing, socially, that I have on my radar for the foreseeable future. July was decent: work event, out with AM, out with G, a week off work, dog-sitting and a gig with AM and Quiet Girl (technically June, but it kinda fits this time period to count it as July).

KfW2 was in contact late on Friday night, claiming that she's on a detox, having been drunk for the past three weeks while she was on holiday. So that potentially means that her offer to take me out won't be any time soon, which is disappointing.

Urgh.

I'm feeling really lethargic today, which is not surprising seeing as yesterday was our work's summer party and I wasn't exactly sober. It was a good night, as predicted. There were about 9 in our group with a few people coming and going throughout the evening.

As tends to be the tradition these days, we finished the night in CB Pub, at Quiet Girl's insistence. Not that I put up a fight, mind you.

And an interesting finish to the night where Quiet Girl's friend got a bit tactile in the taxi - not crossing any lines - just tactile. She hasn't said anything, and beyond that first night that I only semi-remember, she's never done anything in our subsequent meetings.

But I am really lacking any kind of motivation today.