Flirting

Hmmm... over the past week or so, USHW and I have indulged in a little flirting online. It's great fun, of course, but given what happened last year, I have to question how sensible that is.

I'm probably worrying over nothing...

... and it is bloody good fun.

And so the story continues...

Another work's bash the other night which, as usual, was great fun. Pretty Blonde was there too, though I didn't see much of her, I did manage to catch her eye a few times at the start of the night, but she disappeared from view for a while. I've already said that I'd never do any real approaching at a work's bash and that point of view still stands, but I do keep an eye out for an opportunity to make contact e.g. be at the bar at the same time to at least say "hi". That'd make life so much easier if I ever saw her outside of work.

Entering self pity mode...

Following on from my last post about a massage, I suppose it's only right to explain why I've been tense recently. There's nothing particularly serious going on, but lots of little, silly things are all happening at once, adding up.

E's finally left the country after what seems to be the longest saga in the world. Nearly two years after making the decision to leave, everything finally fell into place for her and she's gone. I've even had an email from her already and she has arrived safely. We went out a few weeks ago (see the post here) and I was quite disappointed about how things were left, so tried to get to see her again. She volunteered to go out for a drink for an hour or so the night before she left to catch up/say goodbye. That would have been great, except she called an hour or so before we were due to meet as she was having a packing crisis (her pre-packed bags were over weight and would require re-packing) and had to cancel. Despite the fact we'll be in touch fairly regularly, it was still an unsatisfactory way to end things.

Work's been a pain in the arse completely. I've been training some Indian people who work for a company that's contracted the work that we currently do from our parent company, meaning the end of our department at work. It's no real big thing, job-wise as we'll be found new positions internally, and some of us will even get promoted as a result, so that's not too stressful, but we get along really well and it'd be sad to see the group split up. Dealing with the Indians directly – a girl and a boy isn't even that bad as they seem to be nice enough people, though they are taking up a lot of time and I still have my own work to do. What is annoying is that their boss is a fucktard that continues to make huge demands on my time as if he has a right to do so. My boss, thankfully, is on my side and we battle this guy constantly which is stress I don't need. Additionally, with taking this time to deal with the Indians and their boss, my own work is suffering. After a flawless record over the past two years at my current position, I made my first error last week, which was exacerbated by other mistakes happening at the same time. The whole sorry mess isn't my fault, but it all came at the wrong time and I attribute to the fact that I've felt like I've been pulled in four different ways at once over the past three weeks. I don't usually get stressed out, but the last three weeks have been hard. My boss is off at the moment, so I'm not sure if he's aware of the situation. It'll be interesting to see what he says when he comes back.

I think as well, I've rolled into one of those moods where I'm fed up of being single. I've looked at the online dating sites with a view to joining for a month or so, but it just depresses me. I've had a look at the people on the sites in my area and there's nothing really there that jumps out and would demand I joined up to make contact. I've always been useless at approaching girls the normal way in the bar etc. and I'm still unsure about the Pretty Blonde from work. I didn't see her at the last work's bash and I'm not sure if I'm going to the next one this month. I've not been out a lot recently, so getting to meet single people is not something that's regular. Maybe I will go to the work's thing after all just to get out and socialise a bit.

A craving.

You know how you can sometimes get a craving for chocolate or a really cold beer? This week, I've been craving a back massage. It's been ages since I last had one.

I've been feeling tense up the spine recently, especially between the shoulder blades and I'd really love a back massage followed by a long hot soak in a bath (we don't have a bath at home). That would be bliss! Jessica Alba's company would be an added bonus, but is not necessary.

I feel weird posting this.

There’s something that’s been bothering me lately, but I’m not sure about venting because I do feel kinda guilty/immature that it’s even an issue. I might as well vent though. My nephew is just over two years old and he’s adorable. I love him to bits and he seems to adore me. However, seeing as I still (sadly) still live with my parents, who do a lot of babysitting, there are problems that arise. Firstly, my parents are very self-centric. While the house is theirs, they don’t seem to be able to grasp some basic fundamental manners, specifically with keeping doors closed. This might sound like a peculiar rant, but as I live in a converted attic, I have no door to my room, only an open staircase. I’m aware of everything that goes on in the house because the noises travel up the stairwell. My parents are getting on and are going slightly deaf, as you might expect, but the increase in volume around the house (television, phone calls, raised conversations etc) isn’t helped by the tendency not to close any doors in the house. The dishwasher is put on last thing at night, but the kitchen door is not closed, so the sound travels throughout the house. In the morning, when the dishwasher is unloaded, the same thing applies because the door isn’t closed so there’s a clattering of plates and cutlery being taken out of the dishwasher and put into the drawers and cupboard.

What does that kind of thing have to do with my nephew? Well, I’ve raised the subject of the doors and sound with the parents before, but it’s continually an issue. Get the nephew into the house, though, and all of a sudden doors are closed, voices are lowered and efforts are made to accommodate another person in the house when he's having his nap or if he's staying over.

Additionally, the door thing is an issue when it comes to smells. For some reason, my mother starts cooking our dinner at 8 am. There’s nothing more sickening than being awoken to the smell (and noise) of frying meat or some kind of curry/pasta sauce. The smell gets everywhere. My father has a hard time remembering to close the door to the bathroom after use, but enough about that. Ew.

It’s. Really. Fucking. Annoying.

I can’t wait until I finally get enough cash together to buy my own place.

How do girls think?

E and I went out again last night. It was a fun night and I handed over the present I bought her (some nice white gold jewellery). I think it’s the last time I see her before she leaves, but it wasn’t treated as such, at least by her. I know I’ve mentioned in the past that she’s not particularly tactile, but at the very least I was expecting a hug or something…

Not from E, though. I left her in the taxi as I was dropped off at my place and she continued on her way to hers.

Weird.

Arse.

Friday night was the monthly work's bash. It was, reather predicably, Halloween themed, but was still a very good night out. Better than the usual ones, if I'm being honest. However, this night was supposed to be interesting for a different reason as I had planned to try and make a better effort in seeing if Pretty Blonde was interested. I wasn't necessarily going to make any move (I've made my thoughts on pulling at work's bashes quite clear), but at least test the waters if possible.

Sod's Law: she wasn't there.

"Yes. Considerably"

I'm a sucker for James Bond and was really looking forward to the new one.

Then I saw the trailer at this site: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/casinoroyale/site/ (or you can get it at the Apple website for your iPod).

Now, I'm far too impatient to wait the three-odd weeks until it is released.

?

Friday night was a weird night. I was out with E and we were having a good night. I was going to bring up the subject of her behaviour over the last couple of nights, but decided not to after we had a chat about various related matters. E admitted that the night of the BBQ, where I was pissed that she seemed to be trying to leave me behind at her friend’s house, she was actually trying to do a little match-making between me and her friend. In another piece of the conversation, E admitted that her feelings for the new bloke were very strong, perhaps stronger than she’d experienced before. Despite the fact that E considers us to be close, this is not the sort of thing she usually shares. I decided not to give her a hard time about it as she’s only going to be around for approximately another three weeks.

From the same night, whilst in the pub, we were seated beside a group of four women. I’d say they were probably around their mid-twenties. We got talking to them later in the evening and one of them asked outright if E and I were a couple. When we replied in the negative, there was lots of coo-ing and “but you look so comfortable together” and “you two should consider dating” and all that kind of jazz. It was kind of amusing, but also a bit weird and it never let up until the girls left the pub at closing time. I’d never considered how E and I appear to other people and I’ve always been wary about giving myself away during those times where I’m not entirely sure my relationship with E is platonic. Ah well, it was a fun night.

The whole E thang.

I was reminded this morning that I haven't explained the E/bloke situation terribly well, if at all. Well, it's like this. A few months ago, E met a bloke she worked with in a bar. They met "accidentally". Actually, from putting the pieces together, he knew where E was going to be and turned up. They ended up getting off with each other and over the next while, started doing stupid things like meeting up for a snog and a grope during work. The reason they do this is not because they're both fifteen, but because he's still in a relationship… a relationship with a live-in partner and two children. That also explains why he's sneaking around, collecting E from the pub at closing time on a Tuesday night and why she's being a bit crap. While I wouldn't criticise her behaviour in dating someone already in a relationship (after all, I've posted often enough about fucking USHW, so it would be a little hypocritical), I do still think badly of her behaviour because of the skulking around. Does this make any sense to anyone apart from me? I do think it's a little hypocritical of E, though. A few years ago, I was telling her about my friend, F. I don't know if I've mentioned anything before, but F used to fool around on her partner a bit. When I mentioned some of F's antics to E, she was most disapproving about the cheating aspect. Apparently, it's OK for E to be the second woman because the bloke isn't happy in the relationship and is only remaining for the kids. At least, that's what E told me. I'm not sure E's "explananation" justifies the behaviour, but I've found that women can get very illogical when there's a bloke involved.

As of today, this "relationship" is probably about three months old. Having spoken to E's friend recently, I think she might be a little concerned about E. E's friend asks for my opinion on E and this bloke a lot given the small amount of time we've chatted. Why she would do so is a mystery unless E's been talking me up as someone she feels close to, which seems weird given the weirdness (i.e. varying levels of closeness) of our relationship. Anyway, getting back to this, E's friend is convinced that she's in love with this bloke, but she doesn't seem convinced that it's reciprocated. I'm not sure that E's friend likes the bloke that much, though is unwilling to say anything to E. I think that's a good move under the circumstances. If E's friend's suspicions are true, it would be tough for her to find out when she leaves the country next month, so I hope it's not the case. She does feel enough about him to tell her Dad the entire story, which is pretty unnecessary if it's only going to last another month at the most.

It's confusing. I still have to sort out my annoyance at E's behaviour the last two times I've seen her, so I think I'll try and organise something for next week or next weekend and have a chat with her.

A cautionary note.

I spoke to a few friends recently about Pretty Blonde and they were very encouraging about making a move if I see her out and about. I do have quite a good feeling about this, which is most unlike me.

However, I think that means I'll have to be careful. I think that, more than once, I've talked myself into liking someone and I've got to be careful this doesn't happen again. There's also the fact that I'm going through one of those periods where I'm not really that happy with being single, so that can also add potential problems.