Good night.

So, it didn't turn out to be the night I was expecting. We did a much shorter walk than we usually do. It was only a couple of miles, instead of the six plus that we usually do on our usual route. We stopped off at a local chicken joint for a tremendous burger, then onto a pub. I got back to the house around 10 PM, after meeting Nerdy Girl at 6:30 PM.

I had expected maybe staying out a little later, and being a little more drunk, but I enjoyed the evening nonetheless.

Grin and bear it.

I can't remember if I've posted about this already on the blog, but part of the reported outgoings that I've mentioned over the past six weeks has been extensive dental work. Luckily it isn't new work, but replacing old work - a few fillings and a crown that are over ten years old.

Into the final phase of the treatment and I got fitted with a temporary crown on Wednesday. And hasn't it just popped off while I was eating noodles for lunch? FFS. I've managed to put it back on, but do I leave it for the next two weeks until the permanent one is fitted or do I need to go and see my dentist again?

Urgh.

I'm feeling quite frustrated due to a raunchy dream last night that featured CAB, strangely. So, as a result of that, have a few pictures of the delightful Anna Kendrick.

F. F. S.

I was literally seconds away from logging off for the week when my boss IMed me.

"Bad news."

"Oh?" I didn't know exactly what he was going to say, but I knew that it would be about our high-profile project that's kept me late nearly every night this week.

"Yeah. They want you to support the project this weekend."

I sighed. Our company's on-call payment is not great.

"Yeah, OK. As long as it's during the day and I'm not getting called at midnight for something that's not massively time-critical."

"I think that's fair," said the boss.

And that was it. Apart from tonight, when I have tentative plans with Nerdy Girl, I've nothing planned for the weekend. But I'd rather not have to worry about this crap.

Friends will be friends.

I can't remember if I ever explained that AM and QC1 were extremely close friends. I met QC1 through AM and, after a too-long period where I was seriously crushing on QC1, we became friends.

At one point, which I think I have posted about before, AM shared that she felt jealous of how close QC1 and I were, even though AM herself was not available.

I'd always thought AM and I were closer. She was the one I reached out to when I broke up with FA2. She was the one I first shared my loneliness with in my teens. She was the first one I confided in.

But for all her supposed jealousy around the time I was spending with QC1, she never made any attempts to fix those issues.

A few weeks ago, Facebook told me that it was my Facebook anniversary with QC1. Weirdly, the only photos presented by Facebook to highlight our friendship were of one specific evening. If I recall correctly, QC1 was showing off plenty of cleavage.

Today, it's a similar story with AM. Except, all the photos presented by Facebook have both AM and QC1 in them.

Dark and stormy.

I was meant to be meeting Nerdy Girl tonight. However, a combination of a late finish (not my first this week) and Storm Agnes have meant that I've had to postpone.

It's not that I don't want to go out... I do. but the weather means that taxis are hard to come by, and it's either a taxi or three different buses to get to the place where Nerdy Girl and I tend to meet if we're not going our walk.

So, I've asked for a rain check and suggested that we meet on Friday instead. Maybe we can do an extended evening and add a bite of dinner and a few drinks to our games of pool.

Grrr...

It's just after 7PM and I've literally just logged off the laptop for work. We have an urgent project that needs to go out in October and we have a few things that we need to iron out. That means lots of group chats, working sessions and all that kind of rubbish.

The deadline is Friday, but by that time, I could easily have a couple of day's worth of time built up. If the project goes ahead (which will be decided on Friday), then I'm taking a few days off.

It's only been like 2 weeks since I had a glorious week off work. It doesn't feel like it.

Money, money, money.

It's been an expensive few months, though I've not done a lot of rash spending. I have noticed that my bank account, at the end of each month, is lower than it was previously.

I'm not skint by any stretch of the imagination, but I started saving a lot more money when the pandemic hit and we had to work from home. Even with increased grocery costs (due to WFH) and going a bit mad on Amazon, I was saving money.

Now... that's not the case. The cost of living crisis is really eating into it. My grocery bill is shocking. Almost twice as expensive now than this time last year. The cost of heating and electricity, too. Plus, there have been a few one-off costs that have completely kicked my bank account in the genitals like dental bills etc.

My recent day out with KfW2 wasn't cheap either, though I don't regret spending the money as it did wonders for my mental health and it was something I really needed.

Still, it may be time to take stock of outgoings for a month or so and see if I can cut back on anything. I reckon I can, you know.

Just KfW2 stuff

At the weekend, I was tentatively meant to babysit for KfW2. I made the offer a few weeks back during our afternoon out and followed up on it a few days later. Suffice to say, come Friday morning (the absolute latest I'd have considered her asking), I'd heard nothing.

So, given that opening statement it'll come as no surprise that she sent a message at lunchtime on Saturday apologising for not being in contact (Mr KfW2 had decided that going out wasn't worth the bother due to child-related things). And then asking if I could babysit because there was a last-minute thing with some other peeps that came up. It was only for a few hours. From 3PM to 6PM.

I've posted before that I'm an introvert. I don't do last-minute things particularly well, especially when people are involved, and I'd already gotten into the mindset of lounging around on Saturday afternoon and doing some chores. So I turned her down. And I'll be honest, it was tough turning her down. I love spending time with her kids, they're great fun and they think I'm awesome. I'm also, according to KfW2 herself, a born helper. I get that from my dad, I think. And I had residual guilt for leaving her and her husband out in the cold at the end of August after a gig they were at.

So, another phone call today. Apparently, she was out until 1AM on Saturday having managed to secure last-minute babysitting. And I admit I was a little jealous. Our own evening was curtailed at 8PM with a similar start time and being only our second adult time out this year. It passed quickly. I already have plans to try and see her again soon. It might not be the pub (which is fucking expensive these days) but maybe just to come to mine to talk rubbish, drink gin and be friends.

Hair we go again.

Someone on Reddit asked why all men want to wash their partner's hair. While I can't say that it's something I aim to do or that it's some kind of turn-on, I have enjoyed it when I've done it.

FA2 was extremely appreciative of it when I did it. However, that was mostly while we were both in the shower.

I do recall an incident with FBS. We'd been painting her living room and generally mucking about. We'd finished, packed up and FBS declared that she needed to wash up.

She insisted that I also needed to wash. I had some paint on my face, she explained.

In her bathroom, she peeled off her t-shirt, standing in front of me in just her bra and jeans. I'm not going to lie, my eyes were drawn to her chest. But having a woman stand before me, semi-naked wasn't as out of the ordinary as you might expect. Nor was my brazen staring at her chest. We'd already slept together at this stage, so I'd seen her naked. We knew there was mutual physical attraction. I didn't have to hide my appreciation of her chest.

Regardless, FBS gave her face a quick wash and then asked me to wash her hair. So I did. But of all the times I've washed a woman's hair, this one always stands out. It felt... still feels... more intimate though I couldn't begin to explain how or why that is. Was it how FBS pressed herself into me as I lathered her hair? Was it simply the fact that sex was a possibility (though ultimately nothing happened)? I don't know, but it is a pleasant memory.

What if (cont'd).

I think this post and memory was responsible for my dream last night which was very adult and featured CH. It followed the memory I described in that post to its fullest conclusion. Instead of CH going quiet after suggesting we meet (which is what happened in real life), she offered to come visit me. My flatmates weren't home. When she arrived, instead of going to the living room to chat, she demanded I take her to bed where we spend the rest of the evening having as much sex as we possibly can. She calls a cab and leaves in the early hours of the morning.

As a side note, while some of CH's behaviour towards me in the past was ambiguous (with respect to the touching and the kissing etc.), I don't believe she would ever have crossed the line. If she was feeling something non-platonic towards me (and I'm as sure of that as I can be without CH actually admitting anything), then just like me, it was 'just' lust. And she was never risking anything for that.

It goes without saying, mind you, that I am extremely frustrated this morning.