!!!!

I get a call today, from the person mentioned in this post. It's KfW2. This is the first time we've been in direct communication since her vague text messages of nearly two weeks ago.

I'm immediately on edge. Is she going to tell me what I've done for her to call me a dickwad? It can't be THAT serious, otherwise she'd have been in touch long before.

We're talking for about fifteen minutes, nothing out of the ordinary... the usual tone, bantering back and forth and then she mentions it.

Apparently she misheard someone's name in a work call and texted me immediately. She couldn't go into detail as she was still concentrating on the call, then forgot to call afterwards.

Fuck me. I've had a sweat on for two weeks, thinking I'd done or said something to upset or offend KfW2, and it turns out to be that.

Bloody hell. I need a drink.

Dream on, dreamer.

Another dream last night, this time involving an old crush/friend of mine from my school days. We, as a group of friends from school, meet up again after a few years of all doing our thing - work, university etc. for a weekend-style reunion of sorts.

I spend the entire weekend chasing my crush, only to be rejected at every turn. Meanwhile, FP and G, trying to lay some groundwork on my behalf are being told that my crush is trying to get with me, but I am turning her down.

Obviously, waking this morning and I was all sorts of confused about that. And just like the primary school girl I mentioned yesterday, this crush is someone I'd definitely love to get in contact with again.

Dream on.

Last night, I had a dream. There was nothing really remarkable about it, I was just doing normal me stuff in work. Except, I was showing around a new person. It was QC2. I introduced her to my colleagues, including KfW2 (who took all of two seconds to tell me that I still had a massive crush on her). And that was it really. Worth mentioning only for the appearance of QC2.

Train of thought.

I was out and about on my bike yesterday. As I cut down a side street, it suddenly dawned on me that I was cycling past a house where an old primary school friend of mine used to live. I think her parents still live there. She was arguably my first crush, though I can't remember if I posted about her before.

Of all my primary school friends, those that I've ever spoken to, all claimed one girl to be their first crush - a blonde girl from my class. Mine was an elfin-faced brunette, also from my class. I'm friends with them both on Facebook, though I've never admitted my crush.

There was a third girl, also from my class. Again, a pixie-like brunette. I've not seen nor heard from her since we left primary school, but when I think back, I picture someone like Cristin Milioti (the mother from "How I Met Your Mother")

She's one of only a small number of people from my past that I'd be interested in finding out about or even getting in touch with again.

Cabin Fever.

Over the past week or so, I've been feeling really lonely. I don't think there's any one factor involved, and to be honest, I'm always lonely, but it's usually a background thing, easily ignored.

But this pandemic is weighing on me. I've only really seen my family, FP and KFW2 since lockdown... and even then it's been ages since I last saw FP or KfW2.

I've been mostly housebound which, while it has allowed me to get a lot of work done in the garden, has led to cabin fever. And now that the work is 90% done, we don't have the weather to enjoy the garden.

The reminiscing this morning about CAB hasn't helped either, from a different perspective, but still adding to the overall issue.

Thinking back.

With the weather being utterly appalling outside, my plans for this week have pretty much been cancelled. My morning was spent sat on the sofa watching the original Bad Boys (1995) which was an enjoyable enough romp.

The talking point was that, in a good number of scenes, Tea Leoni reminded me of CAB. Obviously not a direct lookalike, and I'm finding it difficult to put into words exactly what it was that was provoking that. The shape of the mouth maybe?

It's certainly not the attire! CAB was very much a jeans and t-shirt girl and the suggestion of a thigh-high skirt would have caused a great deal of swearing... and possibly violence.

Status Update: Week 17

Magic Number: 228.1 lbs

Slightly down on last week, but I haven't really been calorie counting or exercising. Just a bit of portion management, and that's about it.

I'm off work this week, taking some leave, so my routine is out the window and I nearly forgot (again!) to do the weekly weigh-in.

Family matters.

G has been in touch and claimed that one of his sons has some kind of bug and, as such, he won't be able to make it out tonight. G's wife is visiting as well (there was a big family thing, which was the reason for the visit), so I can't understand why she can't look after the kids for a couple of hours while G catches up with some old school friends. Maybe that's just me though, as a single, childless man. But she wanted kids, but leaves everything to G. She's just not that maternal.

Still, that means a quiet night for me.

Dreams.

I've been out of whack all day due to a dream about KfW2. In it, she would rebuff any attempt I made to start a conversation. She removed me from all social media and instant messaging - both in work and outside. And that's pretty much it - I spent the entire dream trying to communicate, but getting shot down each time. It seemed pretty real, so when I woke this morning, it took me a few seconds to realise it was only a dream, but it's still knocked me a bit.

Wahey!

No phone call from G and no phone call from KfW2 (I'll explain this later). Fuck it, I'm on the vodka tonight.

Hello!

G's home for a few days. Usually, we'd meet up and have a few beers, normally at CB Bar. Obviously, with Covid, that's not necessarily an option, though  I'd love to do some socialising. And people watching! And if we do go out, we might even get FP out.