A new chapter starts.

Call it the magic of Christmas or call it the magic of alcohol or whatever you want to call it, but whatever it is, it worked.

It was the work's Xmas party and I wasn't in great form. I couldn't really put a finger on why I wasn't in great form, but there was none of the usual socialising that I tend to do during these things.

CH was very visible, pretty much being on the dancefloor from the end of the meal for a good few hours, often on her own.

I, myself, was very drunk. When talking to KfW2, the subject of CH came up. Specifically, I'd be talking to a friend of CH's (GWTNA) who'd been asking me why CH and I hadn't been dancing. When I confessed that we didn't really talk any more, that CH had fallen out with me (rather than the other way around), she was sympathetic.

"You two were good friends. You should go talk to her," she suggested.

I replied that it had crossed my mind and it was this conversation that I relayed to KfW2.

She suggested the same thing, but I was dubious. CH is a very stubborn woman, especially if she thinks she's been crossed. I didn't want to risk a full blown argument - CH could do that, I think.

So, I went about my night, messaging people, chatting and doing an awful lot of drinking.

On my way to talk to JB, I noticed CH, on her own, looking for something so I approached her as she turned around. Initially, we didn't say anything. I just hugged her. I told her that I had missed talking to her and that I'd heard her news and was so glad for her.

We spoke further - she explained that she had gone through a rough patch at the start of the year. I explained that I had too, which was why I wanted to talk to her and that I was disappointed she hadn't shared that with me. We chatted for a bit, but the important pieces had already been said. No-one really apologised, we just acknowledged the breakdown in communications and moved on. A message I sent earlier that evening, to SG I think, I think suggested that I'd never see CH again. I don't know whether this is true or not - CH's availability is always in question - but if we do, it'll be as friends.

She'd claimed that, regardless of my approaching her at the party, she had included me in her goodbye email. It's tradition in my place to send out an email to those who've made a big impact on your life/career as you move on to pastures new, and apparently I was going to be in receipt of hers, if not specifically mentioned.

GB returned to the table from dancing and was delighted that CH and I were talking again.

Also, worth point out that CH's tactility came back instantly. There were lots of kisses, back stroking and vague not-quite-arse grabbing. All the things that made nights out with CH enjoyable but frustrating.

And with that, the night ended... for about five minutes until KfW2 talked me into going to the after party. And so, the night finally concluded at 4AM, drunken and emotional (due to a conversation with KfW2 about loneliness).

Suffice to say, the next day wasn't great. I had an actual hangover for the first time in ages and the lack of sleep hit me hard (I'd been out late on the Wednesday for one of the early Star Wars screenings with SG).

I had another sleepless night last night, so I'm pretty much running on empty right now.