Girl Crush.

Years ago, USHW posted on her blog about a "girl crush" on fitness model Jamie Eason. We'd also chatted about her elsewhere, and I can't recall which came first, though it doesn't really matter for the sake of this story. Jamie Eason was (is) is an attractive woman with short blonde hair and a physique you can only get in the gym. And the surgeon, if her rack is anything to go by. Which reminds me of another conversation that USHW and I had.

Anyway, here is the model in question:

 Very attractive, I think you'll agree.

The reason that this all popped into my head this morning was because I came across (no pun intended) Taylor Wild, an adult entertainment actress that gave off similar vibes - attractive, great physique, short blonde hair, albeit heavily tattooed.

Bah.

KfW2 called last night. She had promised to call on Wednesday, but in all honesty, those promises don't carry a lot of weight these days. I don't mean that maliciously - she's got three kids, all of whom have their own hobbies, it's bad time of year with her husband working in retail and she has ADD which means she's extremely forgetful.

So we were chatting. I was telling her about recent things - social things, family things etc. and prompted her for her plans in December, gently reminding her that I'd love to see her again. And then that started a long list of social things she already has on for December. 

That's the frustrating part. She suggested maybe doing something with her eldest son, but that's just me being crowbarred into something rather than getting her on her own. The last time she suggested that (this time last year), her son didn't book his flights home in time and the plan got forgotten. It's not that long ago I directly asked for us to do something because it had been a while since we saw each other and IMO we don't see each other enough these days.

She just is incapable of planning anything too far in the future. 

Not bad.

Yesterday was a long, but fun, day. It started at lunchtime, with a meal and a few drinks with co-workers. Sadly, and unlike other teams I've worked with, people drifted off quite quickly once the meal was done. However, with lots of budget remaining, we spent it on expensive (and delicious) cocktails.

Then, at 7 PM, D and his wife arrived. I said goodbye to the two work colleagues and went to the gig, which was excellent. However, my back was really sore, just from the standing. I really need to get someone to look at it. I think I need to see my GP first and then use that as a basis to get any further treatment through my private health insurance.

I've spent the day chilling and watching the two Knives Out films. They were quite fun. 

Laughing it off.

Years ago, CH asked me if I'd "give her one". "Her" being KfW2. It's not a conversation that I've thought about in a long time, but it was the basis of a dream last night.

In it, KfW2 had asked me what CH had said and I told her and KfW2, rather than take it badly, she laughed it off. I doubt few women would take it in good grace. Would she have been amused by CH's own admission (that she would, too, if she were that way inclined)?

Would CH like to hear that I'd admitted to someone else that I'd "give her one"? I think she might, actually.  Or rather, she'd have liked it ten years ago. 

I can't think of too many other women who would.

Woohoo!

The chair is on its way! I'm hoping for a Friday delivery. I'm out all day tomorrow, firstly for a work thing, then for a gig where I'm likely to meet D and Opinionated Guy. So Friday would be prefect.

Remembering Back.

A semi-remembered dream last night that featured someone who may or may not have been Recruitment Bird. If it wasn't her, then it was someone who physically resembles her: blonde, pretty, petite, nice figure. I barely recall any other details of the dream other that it featured someone who may have been RB prominently.

Urgh.

What is the phrase? "A watched kettle never boils"? I'm sat here, hunched in my broken chair, trying to get some work done, all the while staring at Outlook in the hope that I get an email telling me that my new chair has been despatched and is on its way to me.

Hurry up, damnit. 

Bad Internet

It's been one of those days. My office chair broke late last night, so I've been hunched over my desk, my back killing me. One of my tasks for today was to look at my private health cover and see if I can get my back seen to. I used it for my foot earlier this year, so I'm not sure how much credit is left.

I emailed the chair people and they were quick to reply, but my chair is well out of warranty, so I can't see them helping too much. And I spend so much time in it that I kinda need a new chair as a matter of urgency. My choice was to order a new one from the same people, that might get here at the weekend, or go to Ikea at the weekend for a Markus. I don't find the Markus to be that great, but it would at least be more back support than I currently have.

It took me an hour to order the new chair. Specifically, it took me an hour to pay for the chair. I tried to pay in instalments, denied. I tried another card. Denied. Then Klarna demanded that I scan a passport. I'm not a fan of that, but I need the chair. Nope, that refused to work as well. I went back to the basket and just paid it all upfront. Hurrah. That worked. let's hope they didn't lie about their delivery times and I'll have the chair by the weekend.

Then I went off to register with a gas supplier. The work I've been talking about getting done in the house is an upgrade of my heating system. So my new gas supplier sent a letter with my details and said if I registered an online account, I could do paperless billing, make payments online etc. I'm all for that. I do it for other household bills. But denied again. "We've got your details, but can't create the account. Contact your gas suppliers" FFS. What's going on with the internet this evening that everything is fucked?

So I've managed to be super pro-active this evening but not accomplish anything. 

I need to take a break from the PC because my back is killing me, but I'll be back later to check my private health. 

Raincheck.

A phone call first thing this morning from the guy doing the work to my house. Can I wait until next Monday? Apparently some woman needs urgent help, so they'd like to swap me and her, if possible. It is, he assured me, my choice. I swapped. I would have liked it done this week, but my commitments on Thursday with the possibility of Wednesday's work overrunning were still on my mind.

The guy assured me that it was definitely a one day job, but the way my luck has been going recently, I'm, not so sure. 

So I agreed to the swap and the work will be done next Monday instead.

Sigh.

I'm feeling out of sorts for the past while. A funk like I've not had in a long time. Loneliness is a factor, the time of year is a factor - I've never made it a secret that I dislike Christmas (or rather then expectations that come along with this time of year) and work is a factor.

I have that much annual leave still to take that I'll be on a 3-day week from next week and it can't come soon enough.

There's stress from the house stuff too. The move from Tuesday to Wednesday, given my plans on Thursday is causing stress. It shouldn't stress me too much. If the work needs two days instead of one, cancelling my plans on Thursday should be trivial, even if I don't want to do that.

Am I feeling like this cos I'm worn out and my defences are down or am I worn out because I am feeling like this? I think it's the former - all the stuff is hitting me at the same time, when I am tired and in need of some downtime.

And hopefully once I get the work done on Wednesday, that'll make things easier and will free me up for a very long weekend of recharging.

Eyes up here.

I can't remember if I posted about this before. I'm convinced I have, but a search through my posts hasn't returned any results.

"This" is London Girl's cleavage. She posts quite a lot, and a lot of her photos, specifically her selfies, are taken from above. And in those selfies, she shows off a lot of cleavage.

No real comment, just a thought that popped into my head when I was browsing Facebook earlier today.

Oh dear.

The final part of this house project was due to take place on Tuesday, but has just been postponed until Wednesday. That might be inconvenient if the work lasts longer than a day, which is why my own schedule has changed - another customer's project requires more work than expected.

If the work at my house can be done in a single day, then great. But it requires more than a day then that's going to be problematic as I have a work thing to attend on Thursday afternoon.

Whaaaaat?

I think I might have had an interesting dream last night. FA2 featured. I think sex with FA2 featured. But CH also featured. A heavily pregnant CH. I don't know what the context is around CH's presence in this dream. But the FA2 aspect was, if my memory isn't playing tricks on me, a semi-memory kinda thing. A recollection of some of the lusty afternoon sex we would typically have at the weekends.

Well, I say "lusty" but that wasn't FA2's thing. "Lustier" is probably more accurate. I'd be a little more energetic in these sessions than I would be first thing in the morning or at night.

but still... pregnant CH? 

Oh la la!

For the first time in a long time, a familiar face* appeared on Tinder today. It was Blonde Emma Willis (have I describe her as that on the blog or is that just what I call her to USHW?) I've swiped right, of course, cos she's pretty and I am a sucker for a pretty face. I don't know that we're suited... a gut feeling... but it's been that long since I've had a date that I kinda feel I almost need to swipe on those that I think are cute regardless.

*Familiar, but cute. There are plenty of women I see on Tinder regularly that are not swipeable. 

Yay!

I'm not gonna lie, I was slightly apprehensive about meeting FBS, D etc. last night. It was the pub thing, more accurately, the alcohol intake. My tolerance is pretty much zero these days, so the thought of six hours of necking pints had me a little worried.

It was all for nothing, though. Seven pints across nearly six hours meant I was drunk but not as bad a I thought I was going to be.

It was great catching up with the guys. The highlights, for want of a better word, was a running gag that lasted all evening about a euphemism for blowjobs, much to our amusement and FBS's puzzlement. And a debate (I hesitate to call it an argument) with Opinionated Guy who insisted he share our taxi, despite him living in the opposite direction to myself and FBS. He's shared before, because FBS is too nice to tell him to fuck off, but it was my taxi last night and I had no hesitation in telling him where to go.

I hope he'll learn this in future. It feels like we do all the work for him - arrange nights out, get him home etc. and he does nothing.

Grande.

When I go into the office, I tend to treat myself to a Starbucks. It's literally on the way from the bus stop to my office. However, I've not been in the office for a few weeks due to people being off on holiday or me deciding not to go in due to a lack of sleep.

Anyway, I rocked up to the counter and ordered my usual.

The girl took my order, I swiped my card, thanked her and trundled off to the collection zone.

A few minutes later the barista called out my name.

I was confused. I hadn't given the cashier my name.

"You're Ruuude, aren't you? That's your name?" she asked, coyly.

"Yeah"

"I thought so. That's your drink."

"Oh..." I was still confused. "Thank you!" I smiled at her.

Cute woman remembers my name despite me only visiting a shop once a week, and I've not been in in weeks. She's just being professional, but it proper made my day. 

Let's see.

I've already asked Quiet Girl if she's going to go to the next work night, which is in two weeks time. She's not said anything yet, which is unusual. I'm torn. I'd like to go out. I've said it before, but she's good company and I don't really go out enough. But I have two gigs on either side of the work night, and it's been a while since I've done two nights in a row, never mind three.

And there's still my ongoing back pain. I should look into that once I get this work project from hell out of the way in a few weeks.

Cheers!

Friction Guy replied, so it looks like we've got a core group and a rough time for meeting and a place to meet.

I'm not interested in the drinking. I hate being drunk and my ability to drink alcohol is now non-existent probably due to the fact that I've lost a fair bit of weight this year and I've done little to no socialising, so I am out of practice.

And the nights out with D, FBS etc. always seem to involved a lot of alcohol. We tend to meet around 6 PM these days and call it a night around midnight. That's six hours of drinking. The night out a few weeks ago with The Crowd was just over three hours and I was extremely tipsy.

Let's see how this turns out. 

Hurrah!

I think the first stage of the work is pretty much done. All the connections have been connected, the holes are not holey and it's just the surface tidy up that needs completed.

Roll on getting a confirmed date for the second part in just overt a week's time and for the work to be done hopefully within 2 weeks.

Let's go.

I hadn't heard from D, FBs etc. about this coming weekend so I sent a WhatsApp message to make sure we were all still coming out. FBS and D were quick to reply, in the positive. I've heard nothing from Friction Guy or Opinionated Guy as yet, but they're secondary. If it just turns out to be me, FBS and D, that'll still be a good night.

Just talk.

KfW2's just off the phone. Another car journey, but not with the kids. This time she's travelling for work - a mere 222 mile journey, roughly. She sounds like she's having a hard time of it. She said as much the last time I saw her in person, but despite her talking to her managers, nothing's improved.

She keeps saying that she's going to look for a new job, but she hasn't as yet. That's not a criticism. I know that I've been guilty of not doing exactly that when things have been bad at work. Imposter syndrome is something that KfW2 and I have in common.

But, given her lengthy car journey, she was in no rush to end the call and neither was I. We chatted for about 45 minutes. No sign of a night out, but she's been busy with family stuff that might ease after this coming weekend.

It's always nice to hear from her. 

It's a gas, gas, gas.

The house work continues. There are guys out the front with a massive sledgehammer and a concrete saw making a hell of a racket. So, despite my pessimism this morning, it looks as if phase 1 of this work will be completed on time - by this Friday.

Phase 2 will begin in a few weeks, but I won't get confirmation of actual dates until 21st November. 

The heat is on.

I have two days booked off work at the end of the month, and two weeks booked off at Xmas. I still have about half a dozen days still to take this calendar year, and I plan to take them all. I've been feeling a little burned out at work over the past month or so.

That's not going to change any time soon. We were just given an urgent project that needs to be completed in just under three weeks and it's going to be a disaster. Add into that my manager being way out of his depth and, I hate to say it, stupid. It may be a language barrier (English is not his first language), it may be cultural, but he has a habit of not listening when he gets stuff explained to him if he already thinks he knows the solution.

That's not just me saying that. I've had at least three other people imply something similar over the past few weeks and frustration is starting to build from all parties. 

Still... once this project is finished, I can take these remaining personal days. 

Party Time.

Tonight was the night that I suggested to KfW2 that we went out for dinner and drinks, which she says she couldn't do for family reasons. so she pondered other dates which we've yet to talk about.

But that reminded me that we're getting into social season. As stated a few days ago, G's home, so there's an outside chance of seeing him tomorrow. I still have to message M, which will probably be a midweek coffee or pint.

I have at least four things to do this month - meeting FBS, D etc. next weekend, a gig to go to on the 27th, a possible work thing on the 28th and another gig on the 29th with my brother-in-law.

There's also the possibility of something with KfW2, but I doubt that'll happen until December, if at all. 

And December will be busy too - another work thing, out with S/The Crowd, the potential KfW2 thing if it doesn't happen in November and another gig. And I'm sure I've forgotten something else. 

I feel tired already. 

Pick me up

So with all the stress from earlier and considering the work's not completed despite what I was told, I need something to cheer me up. Enjoy some pictures of attractive women in suits.

A lot of nerve (con't)

I had assumed that most of the work would be complete by the end of today. And then, over the next few days, they'd tidy up, fill in the holes they've dug etc. and re-surfaced the footpath.

However, it's 2PM. I've not seen a workman since before lunch and there's still a lot of digging and pipe laying to be done. Not that I'm complaining because the work has started at least, but if there's an expectation that I keep space free in front of my house (which there was) then I need better information because I was led to believe it was a one-day installation with tidy up taking up to five days to complete.

A lot of nerve.

The workmen haven't arrived yet, but the guy from across the street has already knocked on the door to say he hasn't forgotten about his second car, but he's lost his keys and there's a tow truck coming. That alleviates some of the anxiety/stress.

I still need to knock on my neighbour's door and ask her to move her car, but I am aware it's still early, so I'll leave it until 9 AM.

I've no idea when the workmen are due to arrive, but hopefully it won't be until after the neighbours have moved their cars.

[Update: 915] She's still not out of bed, which is frustrating because on any other day, she'd be up and about by 8 AM. By my reckoning, I've tried to talk to her half a dozen times since mid-afternoon yesterday. Sigh.

[Update 2: 940] The tow truck has just arrived. At least that's one problem solved, and the workmen haven't shown up yet. 

[Update 3: 1000] The tow truck guy couldn't help - there was no space to hook up the car, so the best he could do was push it back a few metres. And my neighbour still isn't out of bed, otherwise he could have pushed it back quite a bit and made loads of room. However... the workmen have turned up and the lack of space is inconvenient but not a blocker to them doing the work. All that stress and effort for nothing.

Still nervy.

So the guy from across the street only moved one of his cars. I'm hoping he moves the other tonight or before the workmen show up tomorrow. Annoyingly, my direct neighbour (not the one mentioned earlier) decided she wasn't going to park in her driveway, as she ways does, but has parked her car in the space vacated by opposite guy which, to be fair, is right in front of her house.

I've knocked on her door four times this afternoon and evening to no answer and my most recent and last attempt, all the lights were out. So she's either gone to bed or she's gone out.

There's an outside chance that the workmen will refuse to do the work if there are no parking spaces in front of my house tomorrow, which is causing some anxiety, but I can say honestly that I've made the effort to arrange the space and it can't be held against me if my neighbours are uncooperative.

Nervy.

I barely slept last night. I think it was nerves because I had to talk to a few neighbours about work that I'm getting done to my house tomorrow. Now, I have no issues with my direct next door neighbours - they're lovely. 

It's the people who live directly opposite me that were causing anxiety. I've no reason to think badly of them, but I've never actually spoken to them in the ten years I've lived here and the thought of rapping on their door to ask a favour filled me with dread. 

They do, however, own three cars and a motorhome, that takes up more than their fair share of parking space in the street, and that's what I needed to chat to them about. 

Thankfully, while I was talking to my direct neighbour, they came out of the house and I was able to ask them to move their cars for tomorrow. 

So, all sorted. Phew.

Out of the blue.

For some reason, M popped into my head earlier.

"I should see if he's free for a coffee or a beer,"  I pondered.

Then I made a mental leap.

"It's been ages since I heard from G. I should see how he's getting on"

So I sent G a message. Coincidentally, he's home this weekend on a flying visit. He had "stuff" going on (non-serious) that meant he hasn't been back in a while. I had assumed he had been back but family stuff had kept him from being in touch.

He doubts he'll have the time to meet up, but will be in touch if he does. We're still swapping messages though, catching up.

Oh, K.

A bit of a weird dream last night that involved K and KfW2. Specifically, it involved KfW2 heavily suggesting that I sleep with K, off the back of K and KfW2 having a girly chat. 

I suspect that I did, though I don't remember that bit actually being part of the dream. And it ended the same was as it did in real life: K wanted to take it further, I couldn't give that to her and we stopped being friends. 

KfW2 was apologetic and explained that K never suggested that was wanted anything other than just something physical.

And then KfW2 and I went out for dinner and drinks, KfW2's treat to apologise for what happened.

Remember when?

I was bored at work and spent the afternoon re-reading some email conversations with USHW from back in the day. Specifically, the interactions with Ideas Girl when she was drunk and supposedly flirting and the period of time after Sports Girl admitted she "liked" me.

It was kind of bittersweet. I really enjoyed my conversations with USHW for starters.  The Ideas Girl chat was funny, even though she was really quite rude. I recall sharing one such chat with KfW2 who suggested that I "bone her and get it out of your system". When I suggested that I don't something like that before and it didn't work out well (K), I was surprised that she didn't ask follow-up questions.

Oh really?

GM featured in last night's dream. I can't remember the start, but in it, GM broke up with his girlfriend. Or rather, his girlfriend broke up with him. He asked me to collect a gift that he'd made for her where it transpired that he was planning on proposing to her. And at the same time I found out that she had been cheating on him.

GM did break up with his girlfriend in real life about two months ago. I don't know if there was any cheating involved. From the sounds of it, it was just that the relationship had run its course. 

Cuddle up.

Semi-broken sleep last night, but I woke with a sense of something... not intangible, but vague. I know how I felt this morning, so while there was a vague thought (I don't think it was dream-related) of FA2, FBS and a couple of others not named on this blog, it wasn't about them specifically.

The thought I woke to was being under the covers, in bed, cuddling with a woman while the room was cold. Fairly specific, don't you think? Well, that's kinda where I was this morning, sans naked woman for cuddling. The bed was warm, the room was cold. But it was the missing part that provoked the reaction. I miss that. I wanted that this morning.