Sigh.

I went to visit my sister last night. I've not seen her in about a month, but that's not a surprise. I've posted before about the one-sided nature of our relationship. I do get an annual invite for Christmas dinner and the odd BBQ. They've asked me to do them favours like babysit or house-sit. But as I think I've blogged before, they never show up at my house, they never make a phone call just to be in touch.

And as I left their house last night after an enjoyable couple of hours conversation, my brother-in-law said "don't be a stranger".

I never am - I'm the one who always makes the effort, and it always frustrates me when they say something like that, or when their solution to my loneliness is to go and visit them. There's more to it than that. It frustrates me that they don't get that. It's not like they never visit other people. They do.

Raincheck?

D sent a message into our WhatsApp group yesterday (Me, D, FBS and Friction Guy) saying that he's free for the next three weekends. Apart from this coming Friday (work event with Quiet Girl et al.) I'm also free.

FBS was vague in her response.

"Yes" but also "Husband's away for three weeks this month".

I don't know if that means she's free or not. She hasn't suggested a date, so maybe not? It could be November before we meet up, despite conversations starting in August.

Out of the blue, again.

I had a dream last night where I was working, but I can't really explain what the work was. I feel it was like some data analysis for health insurance or something? My boss was someone that actually used to be my boss a few years back. We didn't really see eye-to-eye as she was extremely pedantic about stuff that just made life harder for no real benefit.

I also got paired up with an attractive short brunette woman. I'm convinced this was either Quiet Girl or R. I'm leaning heavily towards it being R. She was being very clingy and I mean that literally - being tactile to the point of not letting go, and the dream was mostly about me trying to get my own space.

It's interesting in that I've not thought about R in... a decade? The last time I do recall thinking about R was when FP and I were in London in September 2014 and took a day trip to Brighton which is where R was living at the time. CAB, too, but that's not relevant to this post. I go and try and find her, but she's never had any social media presence. I doubt that's changed now.

What's in a name?

Years ago, when I worked alongside Friction Guy, FBS, D etc. I mentored a guy who was about six years younger than I was. It became a running joke that he was Ruuude Jnr or Ruuude 2. They claimed that we were effectively lookalikes, but I thought they were taking the piss. Their opinion was based mainly due to the fact we had similar hairstyles more than anything else. Our build and height was completely different, for starters.

However, years after I left, I was due to meet someone in a bar. As an aside, it was the pub that I first met R2. Regardless, I stood at the bar and ordered a pint. A group of people walked in and stood beside me at the bar. I recognised some of them as being ex-colleagues,but having no interest in talking to them, I ignored them.

Literally seconds later though, they kept saying a name over and over again. It took me a while to realise that they were trying to get my attention, but they weren't using my name. They were using Ruuude Jnr's name. I continued to ignore them.

It was around that time that my companion (probably G or M) turned up and we moved on. 

Out of the blue. Well, green.

In a meeting earlier, while bored, I randomly thought of the night I first slept with FA2. I can't remember if I blogged about it before, but I'd be surprised if I hadn't.

I was out with school friends. BW invited out FA2. FA2 turned up wearing her "I'm going to get it" outfit. All that really meant was jeans,  a see-through green blouse and a green Wonderbra. We'd had a previous conversation where she explained that's what she would wear to make an impression on a guy.

We'd already spent many hours on her sofa making out at this stage, but I still didn't grasp that the person she wanted top make an impression on was me. At least not until that night until  she dragged me upstairs back at her place.

Anyway, I genuinely don't know why that random thought popped into my head at 230 PM  this afternoon... but it did.

Fantastic.

Over the past week or so, I have been binging super hero films. Last night, it was the most recent Fantastic Four film, and tonight it was the 2015 version.

Both were OK. The latter more memorable for starring the lovely Kate Mara than anything else, and especially as Quiet Girl was on my mind from our earlier interaction. I've pointed out that I do get a QG vibe off Kate Mara, haven't I?

Confirmation.

Quiet Girl messaged earlier to say that she's put her name forward for next week's work social event. Stalky Guy is going, too, so that's the basis for a good evening. At least until about 9 PM when Quiet Girl will trundle off home.

Stalky Guy and I may call it quits around that same time, but we often stay out later if the vibe is good. 

But it's a week away, too early to be making actual plans. 

Hello again.

For the first time in ages - months at least - my sister's university friend has popped up on Facebook, still looking very well.

She's been absent from social media and the online dating apps for ages. She'd regularly pop up in my "People You Know" feed on Facebook (which is where she appeared earlier) or in my online dating feeds. I always swipe right, but we've never matched. I genuinely don't know what I'd do if we did.

YES!

A tradesman has just left the house after doing a piece of work that I have been contemplating for a few months now. He's done a great job, but after a few hours of hammers, sawing and various power tools, I have a splitting headache.

But I'm chuffed to bits that I've gotten some work done.

Roll on the next piece at the start of November... hopefully. 

Just a vibe thing.

I had a bit of a lie-in this morning. Actually, I'm still doing it, writing this up from my toasty warm bed. But the point of the post is that I was watching Match of the day on my tablet. It's presented by Kelly Cates. 

I can't remember if I've posted about this before, but I get real QC1 vibes from her - it's the short blonde haircut and vague if-I-squint-there's a resemblance thing going on. Plus she was wearing some kind of trouser suit thing and I know for a fact that I've posted my appreciation of women in trouser suits before.

Part of me is tempted to reach out, to see if I can everyone out for drinks or something, but part of my refuses to do so because it's nearly always me. Cutting off my nose to spite my face? Maybe.

Cheers!

We've got a work thing coming up in 2 weeks, so I sent out the feelers to Stalky Guy and Quiet Girl. Quiet Girl, at first, was reluctant to commit. However, as the conversation went on, she changed her mind. She hasn't confirmed 1005 that she will go, but I think she will. She always seems to have fun when out with us, so my gut feeling will be that she come out.

Anti-procrastination.

So the guy who was meant to call yesterday has just left my house. He's quoted the job and said he can do it on Monday. That's an absolute result. It's only a half day job, too, so all that work will be complete and I can move on to do other stuff.

The guy from yesterday called, too, and the work I want him to do can be done around the start of November. 

I've been adulting like a motherfucker over the past few days and reaping the rewards for it, too.

Go on!

I have been adulting like a motherfucker today. A guy has come out to price up some work, and based on his initial quote (that he will refine and email to me), I've already told him I'd like him to do it. Even if the price rises by 10%, it's still affordable and in my price range.

I've also arranged for another guy to come out and look at some work, so I'#m expecting him to call within the next day or so.

It's all kicking off, and I'm feeling really proud of myself. 

Remember this?

Despite knowing CC for roughly 13 years, it only dawned on me this afternoon that CC's birthday matches an anniversary of my own - the day I went to America for nearly three months just over 20 years ago. That was the visit where I met V and generally had a blast. Good times.

HB, CC.

It's CC's birthday today. I wished her HB on her Facebook page, but I wasn't in direct contact. I had toyed with the idea of messaging her and maybe doing dinner, but ultimately I'm really low energy today. I might change my mind later, but that's unlikely.

Tune in.

I've just bought tickets to another gig, in December. That's two gigs in a matter of a few weeks at the end of November/start of December. I've said before that I wanted to go to more gigs, and I am. I've been to more gigs in the past 12 months than I have in the past 10 years.

The flip side is that I'm going on my own. I can do gigs on my own, but I prefer doing stuff with other people, sharing the experience, making it something more than just a gig.

 Beggars can't be choosers though, so solo gigging it is.

Out out.

Seeing KfW2 last weekend has really reignited the itch to be social, to see friends, to be out and about people watching. I miss the nights out I had with KfW2. I miss the nights out I had with The Crowd.

And, of course, I miss the nights out with FP.

My social life fell apart after Covid and it just hasn't restarted, nor have I met anyone new, partly as a result of having no social life.

I should call Nerdy Girl. 

*Pats back*

It's the last proper day of my time off work. back on Monday, but we're now into the weekend (ish). I'm quite pleased as I've not just spent the whole week sitting on the sofa watching TV. I've done that before then had massive regret that I wasn't more productive when I went back to work.

This week I've managed to see KfW2, arrange a couple of quotes for house stuff, get some gardening done including giving the hedge a good trim (a fairly big job, too). I also reached out to FP's widow. I've not message her in a while, so I thought I'd reach out. I should fire her another message and offer to meet for coffee or drinks or something.

So, I don't see there being any regret when I log on when Monday rolls round and I do (currently at least) feel quite recharged. 

Let's go?

I was chatting to USHW yesterday. Well, not chatting per se. Messaging. We revisited the idea of meeting up as that original plan (which would have been last week or this week) kinda fell by the wayside when life distracted me over the summer.

So potentially we have a vague idea of where we could meet. I have a vague idea of when that might be (any time from mid-October to mid-November), so all we'd need to do is finalise the details and I can book hotels and flights.

Can we actually do it this time, is the real question. 

Quotations.

More adulting today, this time to arrange for someone to come out and quote me some work. This is something I've been meaning to do for a while, so I'd delighted that I've actually gotten round to it. I really should get more quotes, but this has always been where any enthusiasm and motivation drops away: I get one quote, but can't compare it to others.

However, I do know the ballpark figure for this work and if this guy, who has been highly recommended, comes close to the figure I have, then I'll just go with him. I'll only get a second or third opinion if his quote is massively over the number I have in my head. 

They can't come out until next week, but this is work I've wanted done since before Covid, so waiting a week won't hurt*

*Unless things break in the interim, which they could well do. 

Booo!

I've already awake for hours. I woke at around 5 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. I've got a headache that won't shift and a craving for a proper Latte from somewhere. I decided that I'd treat myself to a fry-up brekkie from the cafe round the corner and trundled round in the pouring rain, only to find that it wasn't open, despite Google telling me that it was.

Seeing things.

One thing that I meant to add when writing yesterday's post, was that I was a little disappointed in a couple of things that KfW2 said (or didn't say).

For starters, I've lost a bit of weight this year. Enough that a few people have outright asked me about it. But KfW2 hasn't, in two meetings. It was only when I hadn't completely finished a portion of her (delicious) dinner on Saturday night that it came up in conversation as I admitted that I was on a diet and shared the amount of weight I've lost.

We were also discussing scars and I was showing off some of the many scars I have, due to some surgery about twenty years back. Scars that were due to a body issue that I have. Not a body issue - that implies a mental aspect (which is there, but it's not huge), but a medical condition. I don't even know what it's called, if it was even diagnosed. It's gotten much worse since I originally spoke my GP about it, but there's no cure per se. However, it's neither painful nor life threatening. I'd shared this medical condition with her and been very open and upfront about it, but she'd completely forgotten that it existed.

Oh, and she temporarily forgot that I had a tattoo even though she's actually seen it with her own eyes on multiple occasions.

But... getting back to the point of this post... I know that I am guilty of putting my friends on pedestals. They're not going to see or remember every little thing about me, but KfW2 knows about my body issues. Well, that one at least. So for her to seemingly forget is more than a little disappointing. Not seeing the weight loss, I can overlook - we've only seen each other three times this year, and all three times she's been less than sober. But still.

Good for the soul.

I surprised KfW2 by not only staying the night, but not getting a bus early in the morning. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I arrived at KfW2's just after 6 PM. She had a surprise. She'd bought a dog.

I love dogs, and even if I hadn't, this one was gorgeous. An 8-week old cockapoo. And you know? Dogs love me. So it took little time for the doggo to decide I was awesome and want lots of pets and cuddles from me, much to KFW2's kids' chagrin.

It was nice seeing KfW2 again. It was great to chat, to have a proper conversation with someone who wasn't family. Mr KfW2 came home from work and the conversation and beer flowed until well after 1 AM.

I could have gone home, but the return to home instinct wasn't there. I think there were two main reasons: firstly I had zero thing to do today and secondly, with the upcoming week being a week off work, Sunday's time wasn't a precious resource.

So I stayed over. It's something I only do maybe 1 in 10 times, and mostly due to the above. But also due to not sleeping well in a strange bed. And I didn't sleep well. My fitness watch told me that was the worst night's sleep I've had since I started tracking my sleep a couple of months back.

However, KfW2 made up for that by cooking yummy pancakes for breakfast with plenty of hot coffee. I chilled with her kids for a few hours, watching a film, then it was time to come home while they went shopping. And I'm just back in the house, nearly 24 hours after leaving last evening.

And just like that...

I was going to call KfW2 at lunchtime to have a conversation about meeting up soon. It was no surprise then when she called me. This happens a lot.

We had a forty-minute phone call, mostly about our work lives when I changed the subject because KfW2 mentioned that work was getting her down.

"When are we gonna meet, then? Let's do something."

"My time management is awful these days. I don't know when I'm free. What are you free?" 

"Any time."

KfW2 laughed.

"You always say that then when I suggest something you say you can't make it"

"That's cos your suggestion is always 'what are you doing in ten minutes?'"

She laughed again.

"That's true. What are you doing tomorrow?" 

"I've nothing on."

"Come down and visit"

"OK"

"I'll need to confirm with Mr KfW2 to make sure we're not doing anything, but let's do that."

"OK"

There you go. I should be seeing KfW2 tomorrow, unless there's some social thing they've forgotten about. 

Just stuff.

FA2 featured in a dream last night. I don't recall exact details, but I was travelling. I was in New Zealand, I think, and generally pottering about. FA2 was with me but I don't really recall why.

And maybe K featured too. I don't remember any details of the dreamt hat featured K, but for some reason she was on my mind when the alarm went off this morning.

meh. Woohoo!

I have been adulting today, like a boss. So I'm simultaneously very pleased with myself and emotionally drained. I hate adulting. 

Same old...

CC called me in work today. I've not spoken to her in ages. Months maybe? And yet the conversation just followed the same old topics, all driven by CC: have I done any work to my house? Have I gone on holiday?

I don't know how many times I have to answer these questions before she realises that the answers are not likely to change a great deal.

Oh?

I was at a conference today with some amazing keynote speakers. Famous ones, too. Famous to the point where I'd leak the name of my employer if I shared who it was.

Suffice to say, they were both excellent for differing reasons. 

I was cynical about it all, but I've been proved wrong.